New Life
by Meushell
Summary: When Sam, Daniel, Lantash, Malek, Aldwin, and Anise wake up on a planet with no memory, they start new lives and discover that amnesia isn't their only problem. Meanwhile, Jacob deals with not knowing where his daughter is. Sam:Martouf
1. The Box

Title: New Life  
Author: Meushell  
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, then it's not mine.  
Summary: Sam, Daniel, and some Tok'ra wake up on a planet with no memory. Meanwhile, Jacob deals with not knowing where his daughter is.  
Rating: PG-13  
Parings: Sam/Martouf, Daniel/Freya (minor), male/male (suggestive)  
Author's Note: This story doesn't really go with the current storyline from the series. It's in its own little universe where the Tok'ra are more alive than dead, SG-1 consists of Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c, and Jack in charge of the SGC.

Part 1, The Box

--Gete (Aldwin's host)--

We must escape. When I hear fire, I take cover. Martouf, Samantha, and Daniel take cover and start shooting back at the Jaffa. Amb starts dialing the chaapa'ai while Freya holds an important box. I wish to find a way to help, but my mind seems blurred.

"Gete!"

I turn to Amb, who's call was a bit frantic. "Yes?"

"What's the address to the Tok'ra base?" He still sounds panicked.

"It's..." I know this. I should know this. The memory of the address seems to be just out of reach. "Dial anywhere!"

Amb looks to the dialing device in worry. I realize he started dialing before forgetting what the address was. I try to think of an address that starts with those two symbols. Freya shoves the box into Amb's arms and takes over the dialing. She seems to be having a difficult time figuring out where to dial as well.

I turn back to the fighters in our group. Daniel is tiring more than the other two. I run up next to him. "Get ready go through the chaapa'ai."

Daniel looks a bit surprised that I just gave him an order when I really have no right to do so. He gives no argument though. He gives me his weapon and retreats. I'm better with this type of weapon anyway. I shoot a few Jaffa, but they are getting closer. We are all tired and getting worse. I hear Freya start dialing. When I glance back I see Amb has lost conscious. When I look forward again I see a Jaffa grab Samantha's arm and take out a blade. I aim to fire but Martouf moves in the way to help her. He takes the Jaffa down as the blade goes through the Tau'ri.

The wormhole engages. I call for retreat as Martouf picks Samantha up. Daniel goes through, and I quickly head to Amb. I look to Freya. "Pick up the box."

She looks confused. "What?"

"The box! The box! Pick up the box!"

She looks to the box, clearly having no memory of it. Freya picks it up anyway and heads through the chaapa'ai. I wait for for Martouf and Samantha to go before going through with Amb. At the other end is stairs I stumble down, nearly dropping Amb in the process. We both crash at the bottom. I look around, suddenly confused as to how I got here.

We are surrounded by fields. Shortly up ahead is a town. People quickly approach, and I think they are from this planet. Two men approach Martouf and Samantha, the latter who is unconscious. Martouf is still holding her close to keep her safe. I see a lot of blood. Either Martouf or Samantha is injured...and I can't remember which one. One of the men runs off to the town. I take the box from a now unconscious Freya and look up as I'm approached. I feel too weak to even stand to greet them.

"We're getting a doctor for the woman. Can you tell us who you are?"

"Tok'ra," I answer. Somehow I know we can trust them. I try to lift the box to the man. It seems to have gotten heavier. My vision is starting to blur.

The man kneels to my level and takes the box. "We'll help you."

"They need to go back."

"What does?"

I point to the box. "Those."

He looks to the box. "What are they?"

The importance of the box has been lost on me for several minutes now. "I don't know." Everything is spinning, and suddenly I feel like I'm falling backwards.

to be continued...


	2. Who?

Martoufz, thank you for the review. Here is the next part. Please, let me know what you think. :)

Part 2, Who?

--Day 1--

--Planet Neeria--

--?--

The first thing I notice is a muttering in my head. Is that normal? The oddest thing is realizing I'm unconscious, but about to wake up. My eyes open, and I'm laying down on a bed. I feel dizzy, but that seems to ease as soon as I think about it. As I sit up, I notice two men. The first seems to be a very old man with wispy white hair. He's hunched over and heavily leaning on a cane. One lens is strapped to his right eye. The second man seems to be late twenties, and he seems tall compared to the first man. By their stance, they appear to be friendly.

The old man smiles. "I'm Doctor Thom and this is my assistant, Ichard. You and your friends came through the great ring in need of help."

As I look around, I realize I'm not the only one on a bed, though the rest are asleep. Two men to my right wear the same beige outfit I do. Could they be uniforms? Both have brown hair, but one is light brown. There is also a woman, though she seems to be wearing her own thing. On my left are two others, both wearing the same green clothes. The man has two lenses over his eyes, being held by some type of metallic or plastic device. The word glasses come to mind. The woman has short blonde her. As I approach her, I notice she is bandaged.

Thom continues before I can ask about her. "You may return to the Tok'ra as soon as you wish. I am certain they know more how to help you than we do."

What? I turn to him. "Tok'ra?"

"Yes, your people."

Well, at least now I know that the Tok'ra are a people, but now I wonder, why don't I know that?

I hesitate before asking, "Who are the Tok'ra?"

Thom frowns slightly. "A blended people who fight the Goa'uld." His frown disappears. "The humans share their bodies with creatures called symbiotes."

Should I know this? "What is a symbiote?"

_I believe he refers to me_, says a sudden voice in my head, which causes me to jump.

I touch my head briefly. Where is he? _Were you the one muttering in my head earlier?_

_I was merely thinking to myself._

I nod slightly before looking back to Thom, still wondering exactly what a symbiote is and where it is in me. "I think he spoke."

Thom nods slightly and gives a look to Ichard, who starts checking me over.

_I can take care of my host on my own_, Symbiote thinks in annoyance. _He doesn't have to take your pulse! Your pulse is fine!_

_Shush. You're giving me a headache._

Thom picks up some papers. "You don't remember the Tok'ra?"

"No."

"Do you remember your name?"

"It's..." Uh...what is my name? _Symbiote, what is my name?_

_I have no idea. I don't even know my own name. All I know is that you are my host._

I keep frowning. "I don't know." This is depressing.

_Don't worry_, Symbiote thinks which is followed by a warmth that seems to send vibrations through my skin.

I look at my arm, which feels quite wonderful right now, along with the rest of me. _Are you doing that?_

There is a sense of pride before the answer. _I wanted to make you feel better. Think of it as a hug._

_I like your hugs._

_Thank you._

Thom continues, "There is something else you need to know."

I look to him. "Yes?"

He seems to hesitate. "We do not know exactly what happened while you were captured, but it seems the symbiotes were removed."

That makes no sense.

_Then why am I in your head?_ Symbiote thinks, which tells me where he is.

Thom continues, "The symbiotes were dying..."

Symbiote suddenly feels sad. I wish I could hug him.

"...and that man-" Thom points to the light brown haired man. "-told us they needed to go back, but we didn't know who went where...so we guessed."

What?

_Or maybe you are not my host_, Symbiote thinks.

to be continued...


	3. Tags

Martoufz, thank you. Glad to hear from you again. You'll find out who's point of view it's from soon enough.  
Charlie, thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Part 3, Tags

--Planet Neeria--

--The Same ?--

Did Thom just say what I think he said?

Symbiote chuckles. _We might be switched!_

_This is very serious._

_I think the amnesia is more serious. If we didn't have that, I would know where I belonged._

True. I look at the blonde female again. "What happened to her?"

Thom answers as Ichard checks on everyone. "She was stabbed." He seems to sadden. "I didn't think I could save her."

For some reason that scares me. "You did."

Thom starts speaking but stops. He sighs briefly before continuing. "Actually I used a symbiote. It healed her."

_One of me!_ Symbiote thinks.

Thom looks almost ashamed. "She lost so much blood, and she had trouble breathing. Nothing I was doing was working, and I wanted to save her."

"Is using a symbiote a bad thing?" I ask.

_It would have put the symbiote at risk_, Symbiote thinks as Thom gives basically the same answer. _Especially since the symbiote was already dying._

Oh. Wow, that would be terrible, to get your memories back and learn your symbiote died in an attempt to save someone else. "How are they?"

"Her breathing has returned to normal, and the fever she was getting has disappeared. I believe they are both healing."

The man with brown hair wakes up, looking rather confused. The other woman has also woken up. She speaks first. "Where am I?"

I have a feeling she'll soon be asking herself "who am I?" I smile. "We came to this planet, and now it seems we have amnesia.

Her eyes widen. "I..." She frowns. "You're right. I don't know who I am."

Thom explains everything he explained to me.

The brown haired man's eyes glow. Woah!

_I think his version of me just took over_, my head friend thinks.

"We should have some type of identity on ourselves." The brown haired man's voice isn't human. Like the eye glow, it surprises me, yet seems normal.

I start searching myself. There is am amazing amount of pockets in my clothes, including pockets within pockets. I feel like giving up a few times, but find more pockets. There is one large pocket I keep searching. I am not finding anything, but I think there is something there. The other two males wake up during the search. I feel sorry for the one in beige. He's not blended, though I don't know how I know that, but I think he is supposed to be. I finally find a tag in the large pocket I've been searching and rip it out.

_I do not think destroying our only clothes is wise_, Symbiote thinks.

I give a mental cheer when I see names. _You wouldn't have found it._ "I know my name!"

The brown haired man's symbiote looks up to me. "What is your name?"

Actually I haven't read it yet, but I know it has my name on it. "I'm..." I look at the tag. "Martouf!" I exclaim. "I'm Martouf, and I have Lantash in my head."

_It's better than Symbiote, but chances are, I'm not actually Lantash. I'll use it though. It's a nice enough name_, 'Lantash' thinks.

The brown haired man's symbiote looks at his own pockets again. "Where did you get that?"

"It's a tag in the main pocket. I had to rip it out."

He rips something out and looks at it. "I'll be using the name Malek. My host is Amb." He frowned slightly in confusion. "Or am I Amb, and my host is Malek?"

"I think it's the first way," the female says as she finds her own tag. "Mine reads 'Freya/Anise.' I'm Freya."

The man with glasses wakes up and is given the same information. He frowns slightly as he searches himself. He finds a necklace. "I'm Daniel Jackson."

"All you?" Freya asks.

"Yeah." He touches the back of his head. "No one in here but me."

Again I know this is true, but I don't know how.

_We can sense the others_, 'Lantash' thinks.

_We can?_

_Yes. Feel for it. You feel 'Malek,' 'Anise,' and the blonde female._

I pay attention and realize he is right. It's like a vibration in my blood, much different than 'Lantash's' earlier hug. It's neither good nor bad, but it's there and it's strong, mostly because I'm in a room with three symbiotes other than my own. Somehow I know what general direction the other symbiotes are in. The feel changes as I move around the room, moving farther or closer to said symbiotes. The sense I get from the blonde seems to be stronger than the others.

_I agree_, 'Lantash' thinks.

I move closer to her, wondering if she had a necklace like Daniel. I carefully search, hoping she doesn't wake up and get scared. I find a necklace and look over it. I can't read this.

_It's English_, 'Lantash' thinks.

_Her name is English?_

_No, the writing is English. I can't read it either._

"Daniel, can you read this?"

Daniel comes over and looks at the necklace. "Samantha Carter."

The doctor explains some more things as I stay at her side.

_You should sit and rest_, 'Lantash' thinks. _Standing next to her won't help her. Your legs are still healing._

I didn't even know they had been injured. _No._

_But-_

_She's very beautiful._

_You can see her just as well from another bed._

_I hate that she is injured._

It's a while before she wakes up. She looks confused as everyone else does and immediately touches her head.

--Samantha--

"There is something in my head." As soon as I say it, I feel a sense of rejection that isn't coming from me.

The man by my bed starts talking. "None of us have our memories, humans and symbiotes. Symbiotes are creatures that live in humans. That's what is in your head. That makes us Tok'ra, and we fight something called Goa'uld."

I'm not really sure what he means by these terms, symbiotes, Tok'ra, Goa'uld...but I don't think he really knows what he is talking about either.

"Your name is Samantha Carter," he continues.

_Samantha's pretty_, says what is in my head.

Um. _Hello?_

_Hello Samantha. Am I to be called Carter?_

_Sure._ I look to the man. "Who are you?"

"I'm Martouf." He glances down, still looking at me. "You were injured."

I look over and see I'm bandaged.

_That wasn't easy to heal you know_, 'Carter' thinks. _You were very near death, and I was quite weak myself. Don't get stabbed again._

Her tone reminds me of that a scolding, but all I sense from her is the worry she felt for me. _I don't remember getting stabbed, but I'll try to avoid it in the future._

_Good._

I feel guilty when I realize she is still weak.

_I'm healing myself quite well. I will be fine_, she assures.

--Tok'ra Base--

--Selmak--

When I arrive at the base, I'm told to go to go to the meeting hall. It's nothing unusual in itself, but the Tok'ra give Jacob and I sympathetic looks as we walk there. That's rather worrying. When I get there I find there is a meeting between Garshaw, Kela'an, Teal'c, and members of the SGC that look familiar.

_Why is Teal'c here without Sam or Daniel?_ Jacob questions in worry.

I give him control since I think this meeting is going to answer that question. He sits down. Garshaw looks to us. "SG1 and some members of the Tok'ra were on a peaceful mission."

I don't think it'll be ending peacefully. _Ask which Tok'ra._

"Which Tok'ra?" Jacob asks.

"Lantash, Malek, Aldwin, and Anise."

Must have been some mission for Anise to willingly go on a mission with both Lantash and Malek. She doesn't get along with either of them very well.

Garshaw continues, "They, Samantha, and Daniel were captured by Olokum. Teal'c managed to escape."

Jacob resists frowning at this news, suddenly very worried. "Do we know anything else?"

"Olokum wanted to try something new to get information, then they disappeared."

That's disturbing.

"What did he want to do? Why did they disappear?" Jacob asks a bit quickly.

Garshaw hesitates briefly. "We don't know what he planned. He started his plans, but then they disappeared. It's possible they could have escaped, but neither we nor the SGC has heard anything from them."

Jacob frowns now, realizing what she really means. His voice lowers. "You think they are dead."

"It's a possibility, but we are looking for them. Every Tok'ra operative lookout is on the lookout, and we are looking for any signs of communication from them." She gestured to Kela'an. "Kela'an was just about to report this."

Jacob quickly turns to Kela'an, who looks a bit put on the spot, along with the sadness that was already there. Kela'an glances down to his report before setting it down. "Olokum seems to be searching in the Feran Sector, however, we cannot be sure if he is looking for them or if it is even a search. We may be able to search the planets there with a chaapa'ai, but as you know that sector is on border territory for three different System Lords. There isn't a chance to do a search by ship." He turns to the SGC members and gives his host, Drack, control. "If we work with the SGC, we should be able to cover more planets with a chaapa'ai than Olokum." He slides part of his report across the table. "These are the addresses of the planet that need to be searched."

Of course this SG team had some things to say on which planets the SGC checks. Drack and Garshaw also seemed to have already made up their minds as to what planets the Tok'ra would visit. Jacob had some input, agreeing with our fellow Tok'ra. Mostly though, he feels helpless as we discuss the search for his daughter.

to be continued...


	4. First Few Days

(Ainokea, thank you for the review. For the mix up, keep in mind that each symbiote is using the name of the symbiote each host is supposed to be blended with. It'll be a while before they figure out who is who.)

Max designation, I'm glad you are enjoying the story. Thank you.

Martoufz, thank you, here is the next update.)

Part 4, First Few Days

--Day 2--

--Planet Neeria--

--'Carter'--

Not knowing what to do with a group of amnesic Tok'ra (and a couple non-Tok'ra) who showed up on their planet steps, the village decided it was best we live with them. Freya and I follow Ichard to an empty house that we have been told is just big enough for two. The males were sent to live with others.

_I don't like the idea that we got the house because we are female_, Samantha thinks.

_I do. I might not be female once everything returns to normal, so I am going to enjoy it while I can._

_You might be that female._ Samantha directs her attention on Freya.

I give Samantha control without warning, and she stumbles slightly. _Sorry_, I think. I retreat completely and concentrate on her alone. If I focus well enough, I can sense nearly everything within her. I feel her blood running through her veins. I can almost hear every heartbeat. I detect the message her brain is getting about her hunger, which I weaken so she isn't feeling discomfort. I know exactly what she needs to eat to get the right nutrition. There is something else though. Oddly enough, the sense of presence I get from the other hosts, I also get from her. While I haven't discussed this with the others, I don't think it's normal.

"Here we are," Ichard says as we arrive at a small house.

Freya carefully goes inside while Samantha first takes a look around the house. The only plants around seem to be weeds.

"It is rather small," Ichard says. "Personally I think it really only has room for one person. However, if you are here long enough, I am sure you can add on."

The idea of being here that long is scary. The Tok'ra must be looking for us. How long will it take for them to find us?

Samantha goes into the house and finds the house seems even smaller on the inside. At our feet is a small fire pit. Samantha looks up to see the ceiling can open and close. In the room is also a bed, a small table, a food storage, and a dresser. Freya seems to be missing, which is confusing until Samantha notices her coming out from another room. She checks that room and finds it's barely larger than a bed that's in it. I bet it gets very dark in here. Samantha leaves the bedroom, hoping she can get that bed.

"There are four drawers in the dresser," Freya says, "so we can each have one."

Samantha smiles. "That's good." She pauses briefly. "Which bed do you want?"

Freya edges to the bed in here. "I'm sure we can find an agreement with the beds." She glances to the bed again.

"Do you want the bed in here?"

"Yes..."

"I wanted the bedroom bed."

"Oh...well that's settled."

Samantha checks the food storage, finding it has a drawer itself and separate compartments.

"There is another food storage under the bed," Freya says.

We head back outside and find a waiting Ichard studying the sky. He looks to us. "Your closest neighbors are a twenty to twenty-five minute walk. If you ask around I'm sure you can find various jobs from them. We don't really have any money. Everything is bartered. There are other towns with silver that they use for money, but rarely do we see any." He shrugs lightly. "I admit we are one of the poorer towns. That's why we are by the great ring."

Samantha frowns slightly, a little confused. "The ring has access to other planets. Wouldn't that help you?"

He grins, blushing slightly. "We don't know how to use it. Being by the great ring just means we are the first ones to be hit with any Goa'uld attack. They come in every once in a while and take whatever they want and destroy a good portion of the town if we fight back. On the bright side, when the Tok'ra come for trade or in need of a host, we are the first ones on this planet they go to. The last they came was several years ago though...needed a host for someone called..." He stops, needing to pull the information from wherever it's been buried. "...I think it was Selmak."

I wonder if I know Selmak. Samantha allows me control. "What became of Selmak?"

Ichard shrugs again. "Don't know. I doubt they have time to update visited planets. They asked. No one here wanted to join the Tok'ra. Only the dying generally join and no one was dying, which was great...well, I guess that wasn't great for Selmak."

Great. Now I'm going to spend the next several days wondering who Selmak is and what became of him...or her.

Ichard continues, "In two weeks we are having our Harvest Festival. It started with the farmers bringing in a few crops to show off, but now everyone brings some type of food or drink if they can. We eat, dance, and play games all day." He grins.

Sounds fun.

"I need to go. There are some patients I need to visit. Bye." Ichard nods lightly before leaving.

Freya looks at the sky, and her eyes glow. Anise speaks. "Given the time of day we believe we have time to visit the neighbors."

I nod and watch them go. I give Samantha control as we head back in. She still stumbles a little. She frowns as she closes the door. _You should stop walking before giving me control._

_If I did that then you wouldn't learn how to take control back while walking. You heard him. This place gets attacked every once in a while. What if we need to switch control while running?_

She looks to the dresser.

_I want that one_, I think as I focus on the second drawer. _The scratch on it looks like a "C." You should take the top one._

_That's a bit rude._

I'd grin if I could. _Put something of yours in the second one then. If 'Anise' and Freya want their drawers next to each other, they'll need to take the bottom two._

After a small search, Samantha puts her necklace in the second drawer.

--Martouf--

_Small house._

_That's kind of rude_, I think.

_I'm tired._

_I was the one who walked the entire way._

_I helped. I uh...gave you more energy._

_Thank you. _I look to the door, getting more nervous as I approach.

_Relax._

My body suddenly feels more relaxed. I smile before knocking. My smile grows when Samantha answers the door. "Hello Samantha."

"Martouf," she says in surprise.

I carrying the bag and hold towards her. "I have been sent to give you these."

She opens the door more. "Thank you. Come in." She steps out of the way as she takes the bag.

I look around. "Your house is lovely."

"Thank you."

"I'm staying with an elderly couple named Joth and Besh. They are farmers. They thought you would need something to eat." I turn to her. "Have you been told about the Harvest Festival?"

"Yeah, Ichard mentioned it."

"Would you like to go with us?"

Her eyes widen a bit.

_A bit sudden_, 'Lantash' remarks.

_It would be best to ask one of the amnesiacs. There are four males and two females, so it's best to ask soon._

_I remember discussing this._

_Yes, I wanted to ask her, you said you didn't care, so I win._

--'Carter'--

_He's forward._

_Say yes_, I think.

_We don't know him._

_We will if we go to the festival with him._

_But-_

_Look at that smile. It's heart warming. If you say no, it'll disappear._

_Fine, but you answer. _

Suddenly I have control. I start to answer, but then feel nervous. He asked her, not me. What if he doesn't want to go with me. He's human after all. Do humans go on dates with symbiotes?

_My eyes glowed, so he knows you're in control now. He didn't run away. _She gives me a visual of him running away, which is saddening. _Also, he said "wish us" not "with me," so he's including 'Lantash' in the date._

She makes a good point. "Uh..."

_Answer him!_

"Yes, we will."

His smile grows. "While I am here, can I offer any help in your new home?"

I give my host control again. Samantha looks around, wondering what needs to be done, though really it's more what should be done first. "What about Joth and Besh?"

"They will not be harvesting anything else today. They thought it was best I help you. You and Freya have a house that's is not quite a home." He looks to the fire pit. "Do you have fire wood?"

"No."

"I will help you gather some." He goes outside.

_He's also a bit presumptions_, Samantha thinks.

_Do we have anything to chop wood with?_

_Not that I know of._

Outside we hear the sound of wood being chopped.

_I guess he did_, Samantha thinks as she goes outside. She starts gathering wood for him and finds she kind of enjoys watching him work. After he chops some more he shows us how. I find I already have this skill, so have an easier time with it than Samantha. Afterwards we gather the wood, set it up by the front door and put some of it in the fire pit. Samantha looks to him. "Thank you."

He hands her the ax. "Joth said you can borrow it."

"Please tell him and Besh thank you."

He grins and glances up to the sky. "It's late. Goodnight Samantha and 'Carter.'"

My host smiles. "Goodnight Martouf and 'Lantash.'" She watches him leave a bit before continuing to work. She tears out many weeds with her hands. As the weeds continually try to make her hands raw and scratched, I heal them. Afterwards we gather water from a near river. We return to find 'Anise' putting items into the bottom two dresser drawers.

_It worked!_ I think in victory.

"You accomplished a lot while I was gone," 'Anise' says.

"Martouf helped with the firewood, and he gave us..." Samantha trails off a bit and looks into the bags. We find what appears to be root vegetables. "..this."

"I found a few neighbors who need extra help," 'Anise' says as she takes out a root. "Two farms need help harvesting and there is a woman who needs someone to help her sew. Tomorrow we will return to one of the farms to help. The seamstress didn't seem to like us."

Samantha washes a root and takes a bite. The bitterness makes her face scrunch up. I analyze it. _The starches should break down if you heat it. It'll turn sweeter, but the more you heat it, the more nutrition you'll cook out of it. It would be best if you ate it as it was._

_I'm heating it._

_I can block your sense of taste so you don't have-_

_I'm heating it._

I pout._ Very well, but I'm not helping you build a fire._

As it turns out, Samantha doesn't need my help. The knowledge comes to her quickly. She and 'Anise' work together to create one. Afterwards Samantha spears the root with a stick and holds it over the fire. Several minutes pass, and I start squirming.

_Stop wiggling_, she thinks. _It feels funny._

_You are burning the nutrition out._

_It's not burned out. It's not even cooked yet._

I continue to wiggle, but she just ignores me. She lets it cool off a few times to take test bites. Nearly a third the nutrition is gone before she is satisfied. I admit it does taste a lot better. "We need to get cooking wear," she says. "Pointed sticks are going to get boring after a while."

"And plates," 'Anise' says as she drops her root on the table.

Samantha finishes the root, finding it filling. I am given control to put the rest away. Either 'Anise' or Freya is still eating. I don't know which one is in control at this point. They keep switching. "Goodnight."

She waves a hand since she is mid-chewing. I chuckle slightly and go into the bedroom. It's quite nice in here. The door is closed so the heat from the fire didn't get in too much. I hadn't realized how hot the main room was getting. There is a couple feet of space at the foot of the bed, and I use that to change into a nightgown. Doctor Thom and Ichard had provided the two of us an extra outfit and nightwear since we didn't have a host family to do that for us.

Samantha falls asleep before I get into bed. It's a bit strange...almost lonely. I fold the clothes and set them on the floor since there is no other place to put them. I go into the bed, and I am soon in the same state as my host.

--Day 5--

--Gete--

Hee, I'm cashier.

The general store is the only thing "rich" that this town has. It allows the farmers to concentrate more on farming and gives them another option of where to sell their products. Needing more help, the owners decided to take me in, though they joke that they adopted me.

The festival is in eleven days, and I already have a date. Since there are no current customers, I'm looking at clothes and holding out a man's blouse. _I guess men wear blouses in this town. Would I look good in this?_

Of course there is no reply. Funny how I keep expecting one.

"Is that what you are thinking of wearing?" asks one of the owners, Starna.

At least I have her and Teff to talk to, but I still feel lonely. "Yes."

"I think you might look better in a tunic and vest."

I wonder what Aldwin would think. If I wanted to know, I'd have to ask each symbiote, then remember who said what when we finally learn who is who. By then I probably wouldn't care what he thought about my clothes. I put the blouse away and look at the tunics. What kind of pants would go well with a tunic? I pick up a light blue tunic. "Do you think this tunic would be good for the festival? I wonder what Aldwin would think of it."

"May I help you?" I hear Starna ask.

I look up and notice Amb/'Malek' walked in. Should I be able to sense them? I don't know what that means exactly, but I think I should.

'Malek' is in control. "Nara and Bex ordered fabric for their daughter."

I head in the back before I am asked. There is a section for specialized orders. I find the fabric quickly. It's a little nicer than normal fabrics, but not by much. I bring it out with care. 'Malek' is at the counter when I return, and he's taking something out of a basket. "These are the eggs in exchange for the fabric."

Starna looks at them while I carefully fold the fabric. "It's a nice fabric."

'Malek' smiles. "It's for their daughter. She's getting married next spring."

Starna is finished with the eggs. "I'll make some bread with these." She nods lightly before going into the back.

I set the fabric down. "I hope you enjoyed your visit. Please, return if you have anything to sell or trade."

'Malek' chuckles. "Is that their logo?"

I blush a bit. "A little...yes."

"The tunic you were holding up would look good on you."

That caught me by surprise. "Oh. Thank you."

"Amb and I haven't figured out what to wear...or who to ask. Samantha and Freya have already been asked."

My grin is guilty.

He notices right away. "Which one did you ask?"

"I asked Freya to go as friends. Starna kept insisting that all adults should come with a date. Freya came in the store an hour later so I thought I'd ask her."

"It seems Daniel and I are the only ones of the amnesiacs who don't have dates."

"You could ask him."

He smiles. "I think he would say no." He gathers the fabric. "I should be going. The walk back is nearly two hours."

I nod slightly. Everyone walks everywhere. There is about three transport animals in the entire town. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye." He heads out.

--Samantha--

We have been doing quite well these past few days. After returning from our new jobs the third night, Freya, 'Anise,' 'Carter,' and I found donations of food and supplies at our door. 'Carter' and I found a job with the seamstress. I can't sew very well, but 'Carter' can. We watch as she looks over our work again.

"You work so quickly. I didn't know a Tok'ra would be so good at sewing."

'Carter' is gloating to me. _She likes my sewing. I'm fast and flawless. She must love my stitch work. I have good stitch work._

"Do you have a dress to wear to the festival?" the seamstress asks.

'Carter' looks down at what we are wearing. "We thought we'd wear this."

Our new boss frowns. "You can't wear that."

"It's the only dress we have."

It probably doesn't help that it doesn't smell great. Freya and I haven't figured out a good system of cleaning, especially with what little clothes we have.

The seamstress heads into another room saying, "No, no, no."

'Carter' stands up and stretches. There isn't much room in here because of all the extra fabric and clothes laying around. The room is probably bigger than our entire house, but it feels smaller. It's a maze to get around.

"Here you go. This is a nice dress." The seamstress has returned. "It needs to be sewed in some parts, but you clearly know how to do that." She hands the dress over with needle and thread.

'Carter' takes it. "Thank you."

_Hold it out_, I think. _I want to see it._

My symbiote holds it out. It is a nice dress. The seamstress has disappeared behind some box of who knows what. "How do you want to get paid today?"

_Does she have cheese?_ I think. We haven't had any cheese since we got here.

"Do you have cheese?"

She comes out with cheese and large loaf of...something.

"My daughter made this loaf for me, but she gave me much more than I could eat. It has meat, berries, and breading."

_Sounds nutritional_, 'Carter' thinks.

I silently groan. _If you have Doctor Thom study all the others and figure out which one is the healthiest. That one will probably be your true host._

'Carter' grins in pride. _I would certainly hope so, but I do not think Thom could study the complete nutritional health of each person. The best way would be to talk to the other symbiotes and see what was the nutritional need of each after the blend. However..._ She trails off when the seamstress clears her throat.

I give our boss a silent thank you.

'Carter' takes our earnings and heads back to our house.

to be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf  
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant  
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.  
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.  
Thom-Doctor


	5. Harvest Festival

(Anon, thanks for the review. Hope to hear from you again.)

Part 5, Harvest Festival

--Day 16--

--Planet Neeria--

--'Carter'--

The walk to the town square is going to take an hour and fifteen minutes. Samantha carries a bowl of soup she and Freya made for the potluck. Gete is walking with us, though he and Freya haven't been talking. They seem to have no interest in each other actually. Gete is looking at the view more. "I haven't been this far out of town," he says. "I'm mostly in the shop all day." He turns to us. "Where is Martouf?"

I answer. "He had offered to walk us, but Samantha said no."

_It would have been over two hours extra of walking for him_, Samantha reminds me.

_Yes, but it means more time spending with him. Gete is walking Freya to the festival._

_He's enjoying the walk itself more than spending time with her._

"I'm sure he is looking forward to seeing you," Gete replies.

We switch control. Something about the way he said that makes Samantha feel the need to reply with, "We are just friends."

"Really?"

"Yes, we barely know each other. He only sees me as a friend."

Freya chuckles to Samantha's response. "Not if he looks at you like that he doesn't."

Samantha frowns. "When did he look at me like...however he was looking at me."

"At the hospital."

"Before you woke up," Gete adds. "He was worried."

That means he liked her before he even knew me. That makes me sad.

"It's nothing," Samantha insist. "He can't feel anything because he doesn't remember anything."

Freya laughs again. "Well, I just know, he never came close to looking at me like that."

Gete nods. "Just because we have amnesia, doesn't mean that there isn't some part of us that remembers just a little something." He's quiet, seeming to be in thought for a moment before blurting out, "Maybe you two are married."

Samantha shakes her head. "I doubt it, and we are _just _friends. We all have amnesia, we seem to be two different groups, Tok'ra and whatever Daniel and I are, and chances are none of the symbiotes are in the right hosts. The last thing any of us should do is start relationships."

That's right...well, no, actually I wouldn't mind starting a relationship with him. The history they might have is bothering me though. I'm just here, contributing nothing.

We arrive at the festival in twenty minutes. Freya and Gete go to explore the area, each on their own. So much for being each others' dates. Samantha sets our soup on the table, then turns around when she senses someone approaching.

Martouf is smiling at us. "You are very beautiful today."

"Thank you." Samantha looks over him, finding him more cute than anything, but isn't sure if he'd find 'cute' to be a good compliment. "You look very nice yourself."

"Would you like to dance?" He puts his hand out.

"Sure."

He takes her hand and brings us into the dance. After several minutes of twirling, his eyes flash.

_Am I supposed to give you control?_ Samantha asks.

_You can keep dancing._ I quietly wonder to myself. If Samantha does have a relationship with Martouf, does she have one with Lantash as well? Then I wonder where Lantash is.

We dance for several more minutes before it's time to eat. Samantha picks up a plate and puts different foods on it. I give her a few suggestions. We sit at the table where the rest of the amnesiacs are sitting. Samantha notices that Gete and Freya are at least sitting together and mentions it.

Freya spears a vegetable. "I asked him to dance. He said no." It turns out 'Anise' is in control now instead of Freya.

"I danced with you once," Gete says in defense.

Daniel grins. "How was the first two weeks for everyone? Anyone remembering anything from our previous lives?" He looks around when no one response. "Me neither, but I have learned a lot from Thom. I've been studying their written language. He says I'm learning it quickly."

Samantha gives me control. "You're living with him now, right?"

Daniel nods. "Yeah, his house was built for a family. Since he is only one guy, he has extra room."

I eat a starch vegetable and realize it's the same type of vegetable Martouf gave us. It's mashed with added spices, cheese, and yogurt.

"I was hoping you'd try the mashed otats soon," Martouf says. "I made those."

I grin. "It tastes great and it is very nutritional."

He grins. "'Lantash' helped with the nutrition. He told me what herbs should be used the most, and he kept telling me not to overcook it."

Gete stops eating briefly and looks at his plate before looking at me. "Didn't Samantha say you do the same for her."

"Yes."

"Are all symbiotes like that?"

"No," 'Anise' and Amb reply on the same time.

Gete gets up, though his plate is still fairly full. I frown slightly. "You haven't finished yet."

"I'm getting dessert. In case you or 'Lantash' happen to actually be Aldwin...I'm enjoying the good food while I can." He heads directly to the dessert table.

Amb's eyes flash as he watches him briefly. "Well, he is certainly enjoying the symbiote-free life."

"He should," Daniel says, then looks embarrassed when we all look at him. "I mean, it's better than being depressed about it. Besides, it's not like he remembers being blended. He just has a name on a tag. He's like me...wakes up...no memories...not blended... Why not enjoy the uh...um...chance of learning what it's like to not be blended." He looks a bit relieved when we all return to eating.

Gete returns with a plate of crap.

_That looks good_, Samantha thinks.

I continue to eat dinner. I want to dance afterwards, but Samantha wants dessert. _You're full._

_That's because you ate a lot in hopes I wouldn't want dessert later._

That's not entirely true. I wanted to try everything, and I did, except for what we brought.

_Dance now and I get to eat whatever I want later without any comments from you._

I laugh lightly to this. _Very well._ "Martouf, do you wish to dance."

He finished eating a few minutes before I did. Martouf hops up and grabs my hand. I smile more when Samantha tells me I get to have control through all the dances this time.

--'Malek'--

I think Gete is full because he is now just picking at his dessert and offering everyone here a bite. Amb takes a bite of cake and finds it much too sweet. He frowns as he chews.

_If you aren't going to enjoy it, let me enjoy it._ I get control and enjoy more cake.

"You think it means anything?" Gete asks.

I look up at him. "What?"

"The name Aldwin. Most names have some kind of meaning."

I pick up some fried batter. "I think you should forget about Aldwin."

Gete looks like I made a disgusting remark. "But he's my symbiote."

"Who currently has another host. You don't even remember him. Concentrate on other things."

_Like you?_ Amb thinks.

_I did not mean that._ I glance to Freya and Daniel as they leave to the dance floor. Heh. I forgot about them.

_Isn't Freya Gete's date?_

_Oh that's right, she is._ I look to Gete. "That wasn't very nice of her."

"What?" He looks around and notices Freya and Daniel dancing. "Oh. I don't like dancing anyway."

Oh. Well, it's still rude.

"You want to play a game?" Gete asks. "Sitting here is getting boring. I think they set up games."

"Sounds good."

Gete pushes his plate away as he stands. "Maybe we can shoot at something. Being Tok'ra, we must be good at shooting."

I chuckle. "We'll have to test that theory."

--Samantha--

After dancing I am hungry again. Martouf and I go back to the table with dessert. Most of it is different types of pie. There is some cake, but people don't have much sugar here, so fruit is often used to sweeten things.

"I have no idea what this is," Martouf says as he eats a puffy thing, "but I like it."

I look at my plate. "I didn't grab one of those." Quickly I see his hand put half of the puffy thing on my plate. I pick it up and feel like I'm biting into a air. It seems to dissolve instantly, but it does taste good.

We continue to share our food until there is nothing left. He steals some from Gete's abandoned plate afterwards. "We should make an effort to see each other more often."

"That would be nice."

"There are some job offerings that take two people. We can do some of those."

"What if one of us doesn't have the skills."

"Then we'll learn." He grins. "Besides, I seem to be pretty good at farming."

"I haven't tried. I've mostly been sewing, and I haven't actually been the one sewing." We get up. "'Carter' sews. She's teaching me."

He takes my hand. "I can teach you things too."

"You going to teach me how to farm?" I ask with a smile.

"Yes, and how to...lead a dance."

"I can already do that."

"Maybe you can give me tips then." He smiles as he runs a few fingers through my hair.

I do the same for him. I run out of hair just as soon as he did. It feels kind of strange to have such short here. Every other female here has long hair.

_Yes, but you are still prettier than each of them_, 'Carter' thinks.

I smile in response to 'Carter' then suddenly realize I'm being kissed. Martouf's right hand is back in my hair, and his left is on my lower back.

_Kiss him back! Kiss him back!_

As if I really need to be told. Not sure what to do with my hands. I feel feather-light and warm as he pulls away.

_So we still "just friends" with him?_

_Shut up._

'Carter' takes control and returns the kiss. Martouf's manners seem to become more gentle during the second kiss. Did they switch control?

_Yep. _

The second kiss ends. Aw. 'Carter' is still in control and leads them to the dance floor. This time Martouf and 'Lantash' follow our lead. Martouf playfully resists at times, taking control of the dance suddenly, twirling or dipping us, so when I take control I start twirling him from time to time.

"I guess I should have worn clothes that flowed more," Martouf says jokingly as he is lead.

"Now you know to do that for the next festival."

He grins more. "Now 'Lantash' and I don't have to get all nervous and ask you to go to the next one. You've already agreed."

"You didn't seem nervous the first time. You seemed very confident." I hear the music is starting to end, so I bring him to a dip. He starts laughing, which makes him harder to hold. I bring him back up so he won't be dropped.

"I'm hungry. Do you think there is anything else to steal off Gete's plate?"

"I think you took what was left of the good stuff." We head back to the table.

Freya and Daniel are back.

'Lantash' takes over as he sits. "First Gete, then Daniel. You seem to like the unblended."

Freya ignores the comment as she looks at cake. "I wish we had an oven."

"Then we'd have reason to cook with more variety," I say. "I like our current set up." One pot. Throw whatever we have in it and eat from it for the next few days.

"Just tired of breakfast, lunch, and dinner being the same thing." He looks to Daniel. "We don't even make bread. We just throw the dough in the pot. We didn't make anything special for the festival. We just made new soup."

"I liked the soup," Daniel says helpfully.

"We had to eat a lot of the previous batch to make room for a new batch," I say. We have one pot and the soup is stored in it. "I think Freya just got a little tired of the soup."

"You should have more variety in your diet," 'Lantash' says as he drinks some water. "You'll enjoy it."

"We put different stuff in the soup," I say. "So we do get variety...it's just always in the form of soup." He doesn't look entirely convinced. "We don't really have time to cook. Soup is easy."

He smiles. It's different than Martouf's smile. It's friendly, but still serious. I wonder if it is due to the conversation. It looks a little more serious than his previous smiles. Still cute though...and kissable.

_Then kiss him._

_He's sitting across the table._

He takes my hand. "Perhaps someday Martouf and I will get you something other than soup."

"Perhaps." Not really sure what else to say. It might be fun to see what they make.

The festival continues on. I think Amb and Gete are playing games, but I don't see them. I spend most of the time dancing. The night comes quickly, and the stars are bright. Martouf tells me to look up while we dance. The stars blur as I do, and I start feeling dizzy. "Oy." After the dance I walk in circles. "How late is it?"

"Most people have left."

"It's that late?" I try to look over at the festival, but everything is still a blur. I fall over on the grass.

Martouf sits next to us, taking out some bread. Wonder where he kept that. He breaks it apart. "Hungry?"

"No thanks."

He eats. "I talked to some of the others and learned about a few jobs that will require two people. Most of it is preparing for the upcoming winter. Some of it is with Besh and Joth. You can see where I live." He smiles. "I'd also like to help you prepare for winter. I noticed your house needs some patchwork. Have you been getting cold at night?"

"Not yet." I look up at the stars.

_I wonder how many of them have planets we have been on_, 'Carter' thinks.

I grin. "Our people are out there somewhere."

Martouf looks up and waves.

I watch the stars for a bit. "It's getting late. We should be heading home."

"I'd rather kiss you again." He's still looking up.

"Uh..." Kind of odd for him to tell me instead of just doing it. It doesn't take long for him to do so, and I decide to allow 'Carter' control.

--'Lantash'--

I like having a host who's forward. I let him stay in control since he didn't get to kiss 'Carter' last time. I notice someone approaching and let Martouf know. He pulls away from Samantha.

_Who is bugging us?_ He looks around and realizes we are being approached by Amb and Gete. "Hello." He smiles though he is still annoyed.

Amb looks embarrassed, seeming to realize he is intruding. His eyes flash suddenly in switching control. "We thought we'd say bye before leaving." He looks to 'Carter.' "Freya has also returned home. She asked us to let you know if we see you. She tried to find you, but you disappeared on her."

"Thank you." 'Carter' is blushing a little.

Gete smiles at 'Carter' in a curious way. I don't get it, but she tells him to shush. He and Amb leave. I take control and watch them, though Martouf would prefer to pay attention to our dates. _I am just making sure they are all right._

_Why wouldn't they be all right?_

_I don't know._ They stop in the distance and seem to talk briefly before parting ways. Something about them being together is annoying, and I am glad they are walking apart now.

_Samantha. 'Carter.' Remember them? Our dates. _Martouf is getting impatient.

_Sorry._ I turn back to 'Carter.' "Which one is in control now?"

"Me," Samantha replies.

I touch her hair. "We will walk you home." I get up and offer my hand.

She takes it. "It's a long ways."

"That's the point." More time with her. I touch her back lightly as we start to walk. "You are very beautiful."

"Thank you." She looks both pleased and embarrassed. "Didn't you mention that?"

"Martouf did. I didn't. I wanted you to know I agreed with him."

"Thank you."

--'Carter'--

The walk to the house is quiet. I ask for control.

_'Carter_,' Samantha thinks in worry. She knows what I'm going to ask.

_You haven't been curious?_

_Yes, but- Fine. _She allows me control. I look over to 'Lantash.' "I have a question." A question that may sound insane.

"What is it?"

"You know how we sense each other, we being the symbiotes."

"Yes. It's quite a useful ability."

I agree with that. Noddling slightly, I continue, "Do we feel stronger?"

"You and Samantha?"

"Yes." I wonder if that question made sense.

"Martouf and I noticed this before. The sense you give off is stronger than the others. You have noticed?"

I nod slightly. "It's like I can sense my own host in a way that I don't think is normal. Do you have any idea what could cause it?"

"I don't know." He looks away briefly. "Martouf and I have wondered this. We didn't know how to bring it up with you. There could be many things for it. Perhaps you simply give off a stronger sense, but that wouldn't explain why you feel it." He frowns slightly. "You said you feel it from your host?"

"Yes."

"Is it possible she was blended before?" The question sounds funny since most of the people here have been. He seems to realize that. "I mean, well..." He trails briefly, seeming to not want to finish. "I have wondered...if a symbiote dies and the host does not, what happens to the symbiote?"

Ew.

He continues, "From what I know about our species, I believe the symbiote would...be absorbed."

Ew! Samantha and I are both disturbed by this idea. "I could be where a symbiote was and died?"

"It is possible."

"That's..." So many things, most very disturbing. Samantha and I have no idea what to think.

'Lantash' takes my hand. "It is only an idea."

_I seems right though_, Samantha thinks.

I nod slightly, feeling sad. Soon I'm being hugged. I hug 'Lantash' in return. I wonder what this symbiote was like. Was it also Tok'ra? Could it have been evil? "I don't know what is worse. That it could have been someone I knew, or that it used and hurt Samantha." I know either way could be the truth.

"Until we get our memories back, there is no way to be certain." He starts walking again, still with an arm around us. It doesn't take long after to arrive at our house.

--Else Where--

--Selmak--

Nothing.

_Maybe there is someone we didn't ask._

_They aren't here. We asked everyone. We searched where we could._

Jacob regrettably heads back to the chaapa'ai. _Nineteen days missing._

_And three more planets for us to explore. They could be there. It's also possible they have been found by Stargate Command._

Jacob is hurrying. The faster we go back to the base, the faster we can get to the next planet.

to be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf  
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant  
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.  
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.  
Thom-Doctor


	6. Dinner

(StarEye2, I'm glad you are enjoying this fiction. I enjoyed reading your questions on what will happen later in the story. I was a bit worried to how people would react to the possible switching of the symbiotes.)

Part 6, Dinner

--Day 24--

--Planet Neeria--

--Samantha--

I sit down on Freya's bed. She's not here, and its her turn to make dinner. I start getting up, but 'Carter' glares. I allow myself to fall back down. _I want to eat tonight._

_She still has time._

Someone knocks on the door. _Now I have to get up._ I head over and answer the door. "Martouf?" Glad to see him. It's been about a week since the festival. We've managed to see each other every day since, but he said he would be busy today.

He's holding two baskets. "May I come in?" He looks very happy.

I let him in and watch him set the baskets on our table. "I thought you were busy today." I look to our empty pot, now wishing we had somehow known Freya wouldn't be here. Then I'd have come home early and cook dinner. _We have nothing to offer him._

_I'm sure he'll understand._

Martouf opens one of the baskets and the air fills with a mixed scent of meat, bread, and vegetables. "If you do not mind, I invited myself over for dinner."

I look into the basket. "Dinner?"

"I had to convince Freya that you wouldn't mind, so I hope you don't."

'Carter' and I are still surprised. "You brought dinner?"

"I cooked all day."

I start grinning, realizing he had planned this all out. "That's very nice." Then I wonder. "Where is Freya?"

"She's at my house." He takes out bowls of different foods. "I wanted to surprise you."

'Carter' and I both realize this is a date. Of course its a date...and we look horrible! Look at him! Wearing nice clothes. Clean. Nice hair. We just got back to helping on a farm. Our clothes and hair are dirty. Not too long ago I still had dirt under my nails, and I'm thankful I washed them in the river by the house. "You definitely surprised me."

He grins. "You look beautiful tonight." He gives us a flower.

I smile. "Thank you." I look around. "I don't really have a place to put the flower." I should have gotten a vase or something.

"Dry it. Then it'll be preserved."

I smile again as I set it down on the dresser.

He takes out two empty plates and starts putting food on them. "Different types of food, including actual bread."

We sit down on Freya's bed. I wish we had chairs, but even if we could afford them, they wouldn't really fit in the room. "Thank you." I wait for him to start since he made it all, but he is looking at me instead. "I thought, since you made it, you should eat first."

"I already know what it tastes like."

I grin. "True." I taste each of the foods, enjoying each of them. "It's all very good."

"How does 'Carter' like it?"

_It's good. I really like the yellow stuff._

"She likes it all, especially the yellow stuff."

Martouf then looks very proud. "We've been planning the menu since the morning after the festival. I was very lucky to get this." He points to the food that looks like petals. "It's a rose, and with the seasons changing, they are rare."

"You seemed to have enjoyed planning this out."

"It's good to plan."

We continue to talk during dinner. I avoid the yellow stuff so 'Carter' can eat it while in control. She does, quietly enjoying it as she speaks with 'Lantash.' There isn't much to talk about, yet the conversation never gets old. It's quiet for a few minutes after dinner. We clean up after ourselves. He starts running his fingers lightly through my hair to get my attention, then kisses me when he gets it.

"Thank you for dinner."

He kisses me again. "You're welcome."

"How long do we have alone?"

Martouf looks a little guilty. "All night."

"That's a bit presumptions."

"Perhaps I'm just kind not to ask your roommate to walk home this late." He kisses again, not really in a talkative mood. "I made arrangements elsewhere if you want me to leave."

This time I kiss him. "I wouldn't want to make you walk this late." I slowly lead him to my room. There isn't much room once we get there. 'Carter' takes control and pushes him on to the bed.

--Daniel--

Now that I've learned most of their language, I find myself studying other things about these people. Their way of life seems familiar somehow, not with me personally, but I know it...or knew it.

Thom is slowly making his way across the room. I feel a bit bad. He's probably going to get something I could easily get for him, but he refuses my help when he's not working.

He is a bit shaky as he sits down at a table. "Have you considered tutoring?"

"Tutoring what?"

"Children," he says with a smile, though he knows I already figured that. "Our language. You learned it quickly."

"I..." I'm still learning some of it myself. "I haven't. Do you think that would be a good idea?"

"You learned it quick enough."

"True, but it may be I already knew it before the memory loss."

"Still..." He picks up a paper and pen, starting to write. "It's inspiring, and the children like you."

"They do." Not really sure what else to say.

"It wouldn't pay very well. The town doesn't really have a teacher because we can't afford one. It could only be a part time job." He stops writing and looks to me. "Daniel, I don't know how much longer I'll be around. When I'm gone, Ichard will take my place, and he may not need an assistant."

I nod slightly. "He also has his own family to take care of."

Thom nods. "I am not trying to push you out. You can stay as long as I am here. You've been a great help." He's needed help around the office because Ichard is always busy taking care of the patients who can't make it to the office on their own. "I am also glad to have the company. However, it may be several years before the Tok'ra find you, and I doubt I will be around that long."

I find myself nodding again, though a bit saddened by the idea of his departure. "I guess I should study more."

"Try volunteering to teach any child who needs it. Their parents will give you what they can afford."

I know I can teach them. I know most of the language, and now I'm learning the history. I have doubts though. Would parents want their children taught by someone who's been on the planet for only four weeks? "I can try."

"Good." Doctor Thom looks happy as he starts writing again. "I'll start talking to the parents tomorrow."

--'Carter'--

_I'm walking down blue tunnels. There are others in beige uniforms, most just minding their own business. I seem to know where I'm going, and I'm also male. I stop in front of a woman whom I understand as above me in rank. "Hello Garshaw."_

_"The Tok'ra will be doing a joint mission with Stargate Command. I believe they will be sending SG-1."_

_I smile. "What is the mission?"_

_"An archaeological dig."_

_I find myself frowning. That would mean... "Is Anise coming?"_

_"Yes."_

_Find myself annoyed. "Will Selmak be coming?" Anise is less annoying when he's around._

_"No, he and Jacob are on a mission. Two other Tok'ra will be joining you though. It'll be-"_

Suddenly I'm laying in bed. I don't know what woke me up. What was that dream about? Was it just a dream? It seemed so real. Is Garshaw real? Why was I annoyed at the idea of Anise coming? Why did Selmak have to be mentioned? I just got over wondering what became of him. Well, at least I know its a him, and it seems a new host was found. I roll over a bit and see Martouf sleeping. I wish I hadn't woken up before Garshaw finished her sentence.

_I guess Freya isn't your host._ The voice is sleepy.

I grin a bit. _Yeah, so I'm actually male. _I wonder if that would bother Martouf. I touch his hair lightly. It's very dark in here, so I don't really see Martouf. It's more of a dark blob among darkness. Truthfully I think I'm sensing him more than anything. My brain is playing tricks, putting in what I know is there, but can't actually see.

_We should go back to sleep._

I move closer to Martouf, putting an arm around him. Samantha and I get back to sleep.

----

Martouf is missing when I wake up again, and I smell food cooking. I stumble out of bed and find 'Lantash' reheating the food. He looks, leaving the food briefly to greet us. "I wanted to finish reheating before you woke up." He picks us up.

"Hey!" I exclaim in surprise.

"I wanted to serve you breakfast in bed, and I'm going to." He sits us on Anise's bed. Anise. Where is Anise? Hey, I had a dream about her last night. It's coming back now.

The slight smell of burning food has 'Lantash' rushing back to the fire. "Uh." He looks to the slightly burnt rose petals before quickly mixing it in. "Do you think Martouf will notice? Crystals, he's awake."

"Then I think he noticed."

'Lantash' is quiet for a moment, holding an expression one has when one is speaking with the person he or she is blended with. Martouf takes control after a few minutes. "I think it would be best to pick out what you want. I don't know what you want for breakfast, except for the okum."

"The what?"

"The yellow stuff."

I grin as I serve myself. "I guess 'Lantash' doesn't get to serve us breakfast in bed."

Martouf chuckles before taking a taste test of the roses. He frowns slightly. "It's ruined."

I feel bad since 'Lantash' was distracted by me. "I'm sure it's not that bad." I taste it and find Martouf is right. At least there wasn't much left of it. "Perhaps if it was mixed with something else."

Martouf looks at it again. "I could mix it with some bark."

_Bark?_ Samantha questions. I reflect it to Martouf. "Bark?"

"Yes. I cut out some inner bark from the forish tree. It takes a long time to grind. Afterwards I add a little fruit juice. It's a good sweetener. It was the main ingredient in that puffy thing we ate. It was a forish puff."

Breakfast doesn't take long to finish. We clean everything up afterwards. Martouf and 'Lantash' seem sad to go.

_We didn't tell them about the dream_, Samantha thinks as she walks him out the door.

_What is there to tell? That there might be a woman named Garshaw who might have sent us on a mission? That I might have been annoyed with Anise, and I might be male?_

_Well, you know Selmak is real because of Ichard_, Samantha points out. Though she understands my point, she disagrees.

_Yes, and Selmak might be male and might have a new host. Of course I have no idea who Selmak's host was before, so who cares?_

Of course Samantha knows that I do care, and that I've been wondering about this ever since Ichard mentioned him. I feel as though, if I think about it hard enough, I'll remember, and if I remember that, maybe I can remember other stuff.

_Like who your real host is?_

_Aw, Samantha. Yes, I'm curious, but I also love you._ I give her my version of a hug. She seems to enjoy it.

"Samantha?" Martouf probably wonders why her smile changed.

"'Carter' is hugging me."

He hugs us. "Now, we're both hugging you." He chuckles a second later. "Now 'Lantash' feels left out for being the only one not hugging you." His hug changes as 'Lantash' takes control.

Samantha closes her eyes briefly, quietly taking in his scent. He smells like Martouf.

_Martouf usually does._

_Yes, but he smells more Martoufy than normal._

Samantha chuckles. _So he's Martoufier?_

_Yes, he's Martoufier._

We don't want to let go. With winter coming, and it being morning, it's chilly. He makes us warmer.

_It's the Martoufness_, Samantha thinks. She allows me control.

He kisses my neck softly. "You're warm."

"It must be the Samanthaness," I reply.

He's amused, even though he missed the first part of the joke. "Is it?"

"Yes." There is no need to explain it to him. Another time perhaps. Sadly, he needs to go now, and delaying him to explain details isn't needed.

He kisses us. "What would be Carterness?"

"You'll have to wait until next time to find out."

His next kiss is longer. He trails his fingers through our hair afterwards. His eyes flash. "Tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow."

He turns away and leaves. I watch him walk away for a bit before returning to the house. I need to get ready for work.

--Gete--

_The Winter Festival is coming up. Do you think we should start figuring out what to wear?_ I've stopped expecting an answer, but I still ask the questions. _Should we find a date? Probably not. _Is it normal to answer yourself? _I wonder if Amb found a date._

I'm restocking the shelves. A music box is playing as I work. I keep resetting it. I don't know why I like it. I just do. Winter supplies are getting traded for. We have too much of some items now. No Amb today. He was working with some of the neighbors for a few days, but now he's back to being two hours away.

Nara comes in the room. "Gete, did you or Teff do something with the books?"

"Teff took one when he left. I put the rest on the bookshelf."

Nara looks at the books to figure out which one Teff took. "He wanted to give one to Daniel since he has offered to teach some of the children." She smiles briefly before turning back to me. "I am going to be seeing Dr. Thom."

That worries me. "Are you ill?"

"I don't think so." She doesn't seem worried. "It is mostly just a check up. Can you handle the store?"

I nod.

She smiles. "Thank you." She finishes getting ready before starting to leave. She stops and glances around. "Is that music?"

"It's a music box."

She heads over to it. "This..." She grins. "I forgot about this."

"It was dusty when I found it."

"Teff's parents traded it from the Tok'ra. They got it from another planet."

I look to the music. "Maybe that is why I like it."

"Perhaps." She grins a bit before leaving.

--Day 26--

--Tok'ra Base--

--Selmak--

Jacob is looking over different scans for some sign of his daughter. Since Kela'an has already gone though all of these, I highly doubt there is anything. He doesn't know what else to do, but he doesn't want to admit it.

_Jacob._

He ignores me.

_Jacob._

_I'm looking for my daughter._

_Yes, and I support that._

_Then why are you distracting me?_

_Because you have a very nice son who might want to know his sister is missing._

Jacob stops. _Sam has gone missing before. Mark doesn't need to know. It'll worry him. We'll find her._

_What you mean is, "If I tell him, then I'm admitting we might not find her."_

Jacob ignores me again.

_Jacob._

_She's not gone!_

_I'm not asking you to believe she is gone. I am telling you that Mark should know about it._

_Selmak._

_He needs to know._

_What can I tell him? Everything about her disappearance is classified. All I can tell him is that his sister is missing._

_Do you remember when you contacted George once?_ I refer to General Hammand of course. _It was before you knew anything about the stargate. His voice told you that he didn't want to talk to you, and it wasn't just because he was busy. Though he tried to hide it, and it was over the phone, something in his voice said "I really don't want to talk to Jacob right now. I really don't."_

_Yes, I remember._

_And you asked about Sam, and he gave you a general answer that meant nothing, but his voice gave him away again. It said "Sam is in trouble."_

_Yes, I remember. When I asked how she was in trouble he said-_

_"Her current situation is classified." Yes, I know. I'm the one reminding you._

Jacob wants to go back to reading. _What's your point?_

_You were worried about Sam. You were angry that you didn't know what was wrong, but in the end, you were glad you knew _something

Jacob sighs.

_Remember how frustrated you were when you learned all the times she was in trouble and you didn't know. You wanted to have known. Even if you couldn't be told the details, you wanted to know your daughter was in danger. _The reason, which I won't openly point out to him is because if something had gone wrong, if Sam had been killed, it would have taken him by complete surprise. He already knows his reason. No need to remind him.

Right now he's glaring, which I know is directed at me. I continue, _It's been twenty-nine days, and there is nothing else we can do. Mark has a right to know._

_...I know._

To be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf  
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant  
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.  
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.  
Thom-Doctor


	7. Coldness

(Charlie, thanks.)

Part 7, Coldness

--Day 31--

--Planet Earth--

--Selmak--

"Dad!" Mark looks happy to see his father. "I didn't know you were coming. Why didn't you call first? Betty and the kids are..." His face seems to fall as he trails off. "What's wrong?"

"Can I come in?"

Mark moves out of the way so his father can come into the house. "Should we sit?"

I feel sad whenever I come here. It's like visiting a son...who doesn't know I exist. Oh, Mark. I'm here, inside your dad's head. I'm the reason he's still alive.

_I recall being the reason you are still alive_, Jacob thinks as he sits down on the couch with Mark.

Oops. Didn't realize he was listening.

Jacob and I have his story of truths and lies all planned out. He looks to Mark. "It's about Sam. She went on a mission that took her out of the United States. The group she was in disappeared."

Mark holds a look of disbelief and surprise before getting upset. "How long has she been gone?"

"Five weeks."

Mark gets angrier. "And I'm just hearing about it now!"

It's not like we can explain that when she usually disappears, she usually returns.

"The Air Force has been trying to locate her. So have I."

Mark gets up as he shakes his head. "Who else is missing?"

"Two you know of, Daniel and Martouf." Sam has mentioned Daniel before, and Jacob has mentioned Martouf. "Two you don't know, Amb and Gete."

Mark frowns. "I thought Martouf traveled with you. Why would he be where Sam was?"

"The location was his home...land."

Oh, that sounds convincing.

_Shut up_, he thinks before continuing. "The Air Force hired him as a guide since he would be home."

"Where is this location?"

"That's classified."

"Why is she missing?"

"I don't know."

Mark turns away.

_Hug him._

Jacob gets up and hugs his son. "We'll find her."

Mark looks to him. "What do I tell my family?"

Jacob knows the question holds a test. The real question is, "How sure are you that you'll find her?" Jacob hesitates. "Yes." He failed the test.

Mark looks down. "Find her."

--Day 37--

--Planet Neeria--

--'Carter'--

_This is boring. Daniel and Anise are very happy though. They keeping chattering back and forth about language and culture and how these people died. Isn't it kind of depressing to find out why an entire world is dead?_

Entirely_, my host thinks. _These people had dreams. Something took their dreams away. The dreams died. They died. The culture died. We study them as if it matters. Like any of them would care that someone wrote on paper how _they _think these people lived. The details will be wrong, and details are what is most important about a people. It's just on a paper that few people are ever going to read. It's not real memories. They're dead.

Okay, now you are depressing me_, I think. His thoughts are reminding me of what will became of the Tok'ra in the future._

Sorry. It's just...

I know.

_He gives a small sigh as he continues to watch._

_Suddenly we are being fired at. Staff weapons. My host quickly becomes more alert. "Take cover!" He does so himself, hiding behind one of the precious buildings that Daniel and Anise thought was so important. The attackers are Jaffa and clearly have no care for the building. Where did they come from! They must have been on the planet already._

_Don't know where the others are. My host fires at several Jaffa. There are many of them, but we keep calm. We're worried about the others. I hope-_

_We suddenly fall back. Hit by something. Don't know what. _Are you all right?

_He lost conscious, and I realize I'm about to do the same._

I grab my side as I wake up. Even though I realize it was just a dream, it still seems to burn. The air is thinner. Maybe it's the room. I can't breathe!

"'Carter?'" It's Martouf. He spent the night again, and now he's holding me. "What's wrong?"

"I... I was being attacked."

"By who?"

"Jaffa."

"Who are the Jaffa?"

"I don't know...I..." I shake my head. "I was on a planet. I don't know if it was just a dream...or a memory. I..." I swallow. "We went on a mission to look at some culture who died out. I had a dream before...about hearing about the mission. Someone named Garshaw. She sent us." I turn to Martouf. "Does Garshaw sound familiar to you?"

He shakes his head.

"She mentioned someone named Selmak...and-and Anise. She said we were going to go on the mission with SG-1 and two other Tok'ra." I'm pretty sure it was a memory now. "This time I was on the mission, and we were attacked by the Jaffa. My host was shot."

"Do you remember who your host was?"

"No, but he seemed upset." I smile a bit, realizing how that might sound. "I mean before the attack."

He holds me closer. "We'll keep you safe from any Jaffa."

I kiss him gently. "Thank you."

A moment passes, and Martouf speaks again. "He?"

"What?"

"Your host was male?"

Oh...that... "Uh...I think so."

He pulls away a little. "You're male?"

"I don't feel male. I feel very female."

He frowns.

Now I feel bad. I probably should have mentioned it before. "Martouf, you know I'm really an it. That didn't bother you...a-and you knew there was the possibility that my previous host was male. That doesn't mean I'm male. I'm an it." I smile and add in hope. "A wonderful pretty it who likes you very much?"

He settles back down. "You're right, but the next time you get more memories, I want to know about them."

"I wasn't sure if they were memories, not at first." I settle back down as well.

It's quiet for a moment, and in the dark, his right hand finds one of my ears. "You're beautiful."

I flash my eyes. Not for any particular reason. Just to do it.

"Your eyes are also beautiful," he adds. His hand is still lightly touching my ear.

"We should go back to sleep. Tomorrow is the festival."

He pulls me against him before settling back down. "Sleep then."

While I consider men and women to be equal, the roles in their relationships are not the same. For instance, women, who tend to be smaller and lighter, can partially lay on a man while fear of making him uncomfortable, which is what we're doing now. My head is on his shoulder as he holds me close. It seems, if my dreams are right, I normally have a male host, so I'm going to enjoy being female while I can.

--Martouf--

I sit up and stretch. It's dark, but I can see a little bit, so it must he early morning. My neck is sore, so I rub it, but accidentally wake up 'Lantash' in doing so. _Sorry._

He wiggles a bit, trying to stretch. _Morning. _He wiggles again. _I'd like to go into some water and just stretch out. Just for a few minutes._

_Snug in there?_

_Yes._

I feel kind of bad. I knew this, but never really thought about it. I lay back down and look at Samantha. I wonder how much truth there was to 'Carter's' dream.

_Keep in mind that I might be female_, 'Carter' reminds.

I rub Samantha's back gently until she wake up. "Morning."

Samantha wiggles out of bed and starts getting dressed at the base of the bed. "Morning."

I sit up again. "Any more dreams?"

She shakes her head. "No, but I think it was a memory or part of a memory." She goes into the main room, closing the door so I can get dressed in privacy. I quickly put on the first layer of clothes and follow her out. I turn away when I realize Freya is still dressing. "Sorry."

I can hear her hopping around as she's trying to put leggings on. Samantha is laughing, undoubtedly at her. Freya falls or drops on to the bed. "Why were these invented?" She's frustrated.

"To keep us warm," Samantha answers.

It's a few more minutes before I can turn around. Kind of wonder what the neighbors think with me spending the night in a house with two women. "Freya, who is your date this time?"

It turns out 'Anise' is in control now. "Daniel." Until they speak, I still can't tell them apart. She's putting on her shoes. "He's coming to walk me there."

"I should probably finish getting dressed then." I have more layers to add. I doubt Samantha wants it to be obvious that I spent the entire night here.

Samantha is brushing her hair. "Think it'll snow today?"

I shrug. It started snowing a couple days ago, which Besh and Joth weren't happy about. The Winter Festival is scheduled to be a couple weeks before it normally starts snowing. "Hope not."

There is a knock on the door. "I'll get it!" Anise says, as she runs a whole three feet to the door. She opens the door. "Hello Daniel." She sounds all calm now, but I'd bet a dinner that Daniel heard her earlier anyway.

"Hello Anise." He smiles and give her...leaves? Yes, those are leaves.

"Thank you, Daniel." She hugs him. She seems quite happy with the leaves.

Really? Leaves?

Anise puts the leaves in a bowl and sets them on the table. "They're beautiful."

I admit, the leaves are pretty. I look over at the dried flower I gave Samantha on our first date. Was I wrong to bring her a flower?

_I think she liked the flower_, 'Lantash' thinks.

After all the greetings we start heading to the festival. Samantha and Freya are bringing soup again.

--Gete--

It's Amb! He's sitting on one of the long tables reading. He's reading at a festival. Figures. "Hello Amb."

He smiles as he looks up. "Hello Gete." He switched control mid-sentence. He gets up and hugs me. "How are you?"

I return the hug. "Good, you?"

"I have been able to help plan a wedding. It's been rather interesting. Is there any news with you?"

"Starna learned she is pregnant."

'Malek' smiles. "I shall congratulate her."

"What were you reading?" I head to the table looking to what he had. I start to sit down, but realize he went behind me. Why did he-

Something soft hits my side. I look and see snow. 'Malek' is trying not to look guilty. I frown. "Did you do that?"

He smiles and throws another snowball at me.

"Oh, now you are in trouble." I gather snow, and he takes off running. I chase after him.

--Amb--

I take control again mid-run. _I can't believe you started a snowball fight._ I veer around a corner and nearly crash into Samantha. "Gete's behind me," I say before running off. I stop at a couple buildings and take cover.

Gete easily follows my footprints, then walks around slowly with a snowball in his hand. "'Mmmaalleek,'" he says slowly. "Aaammb." He throws the snowball above me.

Ha! He missed!

I get covered in snow.

_Oooh, cold_, 'Malek' thinks.

I jump up and chase after him. I get a little satisfaction out of his surprised yelp. Don't think he expected me to charge. I chase after him a bit. When we are above the deepest part of the snow I pounce and knock him over.

"Aack!" He falls, face into the snow. He starts laughing.

"I won," I say as I start scooping snow on to him. A snowball hits me. I turn around and see kids gathering snow.

Gete laughs. "I have allies. Get him!" He uses my distraction to knock me over.

I soon have several kids around me, throwing snow. I throw snow back. They're kind of winning. Gete is watching. Ha! He's enjoying this. It doesn't take long for the kids to turn on each other, some of them staying on Gete's side and some siding with me.

--Samantha--

Martouf starts dancing with me as soon as we get to the festival. It's not easy since it's in the snow. "So," he starts, "do you understand the leaves?"

"Anise mentioned it before. Leaves are a symbol of love on Neeria."

"I should give you leaves then."

"Well, you only do that if you love someone."

_I think that's his point_, 'Carter' thinks.

Oh. "Oh." I look to him. "You... What?"

He slows the dance to a stop and kisses me. "Samantha and 'Carter,' we love you."

"I..." Not sure how to respond. "We might be married to other people."

"You're worried about that now?"

"The symbiotes are all wrong."

"Same question."

"I..."

"I don't expect you to respond the same."

"But I do...I..." I take his hands. "We do. It's just...actually saying it."

"Would you prefer to give me a leaf?"

I smile. "We love both of you."

A nervousness in his expression disappears. I didn't even realize it was there until it was gone. "Whether we are found in a few day, a few years, or never...my feelings won't change."

"So if either of us happen to be married?"

"We'll figure it out then."

Probably the best way.

He touches the back of my head as he moves in for a kiss.

_He's dying. Pull away. "No! Get out! Get out!" Afraid! Controlled!_

I pull away suddenly.

"Samantha?"

That was terrifying. "I..." _What was that?_

_I have no idea_, 'Carter' answers, feeling just as afraid. _That was...weird._

I touch my throat which seems to hurt for some reason.

"Samantha, are you all right?" Martouf looks worried.

"I don't know."

_It was a symbiote_, 'Carter' say suddenly.

_What?_

_That's what you were afraid of._

_You were just as afraid._

_Yes, but it wasn't my memory._

I look to Martouf, who still looks worried. "I think I remembered something."

He looks both concerned and hurt. Probably not very ideal to tell someone you love them and they flash to a frightening memory afterwards.

"It wasn't because of you," I say quickly. Not really in the mood to dance anymore, I head to a table.

He follows, and we sit down. He still looks unsure. "What were you afraid of?"

"'Carter thinks it was a symbiote."

He looks down briefly, seeming to be in thought. He look at me again. "The sensing."

"What?"

"Your sense is stronger. We thought it could be because a symbiote died while in you."

_I wish he hadn't brought that up again_, 'Carter' thinks.

It's quiet for a moment. Martouf kind of looks forward. "I sometimes get flashes too."

"Really?" He's never mentioned this. "Like what?"

"Well, there is one about a woman. She's important to me, dying, and there isn't anything I can do about it. I was very sad."

"Do you know why she was important?"

Martouf shook his head. "No."

"Was she pretty?"

Martouf smiles a little. "I don't think I saw her like that. The relationship was more..." He touched his head lightly. "We're not even sure who's memory it belonged to, or if it was a memory."

I lean against him slightly. It's quiet again, but it's a peaceful silence.

--Gete--

The children run off when it's time for dinner. I slowly follow. The snowball fight lasted quite a while. 'Malek' is in a chipper mood. He's practically bouncing. "I won!"

I shake my head. "I won."

"No, I won."

I shake my head again, but no there is no point in arguing. No one actually won. I feel tired after the game, yet he's hyper. _Did he drink a few cups of coffee or is it a symbiote thing?_

As I serve myself dinner it's getting later, and I'm getting colder. The snow has soaked though my clothes. Again, all those with amnesia sit down at the same table.

"So, who started the snowball fight," 'Lantash' asks.

I point to Amb, who quickly replies. "It was 'Malek,' not me."

"Who won?"

Of course we both claim victory.

The conversation changes course, but I do not pay attention. My hands are oddly numbed and pained on the same time. I think my feet are going to join them soon. Aldwin would be able to help if he was here. I don't know how he'd help, but he would. I speak when it seems the conversation has gone quiet. "I'm going to go home after this."

'Malek' frowns. "What's wrong?"

"Just cold."

"I'll walk you home."

I blush slightly. "There is no need."

"I'm the reason you are cold."

"I'm just going to go to sleep." I don't really want to keep someone company. I'm really tired.

"I won't stay any longer than needed."

I smile a bit. "Thank you." I finish dinner quickly since I'm still getting colder. My toes and fingers hurt a lot now. I say my goodbyes and leave, not really thinking about 'Malek.' He follows anyway.

I should have worn warmer clothes. What I have would have worked if I hadn't been covered in continuous snowballs, but they still aren't as warm as other clothes. I take off my gloves on the way to the house. The chilled air seems slightly better than the melted snow. I enter the house. It's a little better in here, but not much. I turn to 'Malek' to say bye, but he interrupts.

"I get to see your room."

I guess he plans to stay longer than needed, though it really isn't any trouble for me. I head up the stairs and go into my room. "There isn't much to see." I wait a few seconds for him to leave, but then I don't care anymore. I'm freezing, and these clothes aren't helping. I change.

He seems to become more interested in the room, but I think he's being polite. After I've changed I realize he pulled back the blankets on the bed for me. I wish I could hug him, but he's still damp. There is still some snow in the creases of his clothes. I go into the bed, and he pulls the blankets over him. I look at him as I settle. "That's why you insisted on coming?"

He kneels down by the bed. "Are you warm yet?"

"Not yet."

"I can't leave you cold. It's my fault you are cold."

I keep blinking a lot. "Thank you."

"You were chilled."

I smile. "A bit." Under warm blankets, but I'm still very cold.

My eyes close. It takes a bit to warm up. I hear a "Goodnight Gete" as soon as the cold is gone.

"Night."

to be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf

Ichard-Doctor's Assistant

Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.

Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.

Thom-Doctor


	8. Buried

(Martoufz, thank you for the review. Sorry this one is kind of late. School has started.)

Part 8, Buried

--Planet Neeria--

--Martouf--

I look up when 'Malek' returns. "How is Gete?"

"Asleep." He looks guilty.

"He enjoyed the snow," I remind.

"Yes, and now he's missing the festival."

"Well, he's not missing much," Samantha offers.

She's right. With the early snow and early coldness, the festival, from what I hear, isn't what it normally is. No games, less people, less music, less dancing, less food, and less joy. Samantha continues to be proven right as the night continues on. I think the snowball fight was the most entertaining thing.

We dance a few more times before heading to Samantha's house. She's holding my hand. "So, what reason do you give to Besh and Joth for not staying with them when you are at my house?"

I smile a bit. Some people know, but most don't. "Sometimes I work late on jobs and end up sleeping over, so that's what they assume."

"Do you plan to stay tonight?"

"If I'm invited."

She smiles briefly. "We've been here for over a month now, haven't we?"

"Yes." Quite an active time period with two festivals in it. The first depends on the harvest though, and the harvest was late this year. "I feel bad. This isn't a very good year for them, and that's when we show up, expecting help."

"Well, we've been helping them in return." She touches her side, where she had been stabbed. "Also glad they gave us the help."

I touch her side, remembering how worried I had been. "Me too." I hope whoever stabbed her is dead. I look to the house as we arrive. "Are you cold? Can I warm you?"

"I think I'm going to go right to sleep." Her eyes flash. "You are still welcomed to stay."

"I'll take the invite."

They do as they said, falling asleep quickly once they're in bed. There is something satisfying about having someone fall asleep as you hold them. Complete trust. I soon fall asleep as well.

--'Carter'--

_The last thing I remember is getting shot. Now I'm awake, but he's still asleep. At least my host is still at peace..for now. When I feel a pressure at his neck I take control to figure out what it is. I'm tied down, and I can't move my head. "Who's there?"_

_Didn't expect an answer, and I don't get one. "Argh!" They are cutting! Cutting me? No. My host. They are cutting my host. Stop it! Stop it! I try to struggle, but my host is tied down well. They're cutting him to get to me. I retreat to take full control of myself. I grip myself to him. What are they doing? Who is it? I try to heal my host._

_They win. Cold fingers try to pull me away. No! I give whoever it is a hard time, holding a grip. He's stronger though. I'm going to lose, and I could hurt my host in the process. He's still alive. They didn't kill him to get me, so they must want him alive. With regret, I let him go._

_Now I'm me. The true serpentish, squealing me. I twist around and give a hard bite to the person holding me. He yelps slightly and shakes me. Ha! It's a Goa'uld. Can't tell who. I refuse to let go. His shaking makes me dizzy._

_"Let go!"_

_Ha!_

_He pulls me away, losing some skin in the process, and slams me into a tank. I squeal furiously at him. I think he's laughing as he walks away. Argh! I swim around the tank, disorientated and pained. Finally I find my way and see my host, still unconscious. Saddened. I can't even call him. Can't say his name in squeal. "Host?" I watch as he is taken away. What are they going to do with him? Will they heal him? "Host!"_

_I left my own host. He's abandoned and doesn't even know it. The idea that scares me the most is that I was removed so he may be forced to become a host to a Goa'uld._

_I hear a sound, a squeak of "Hello."_

_I spin a bit before finding where it came from. Still dizzy. It's another symbiote. "Hello." Probably a Tok'ra, but I can't tell who._

_"Removed. My host. I failed." Our language in our true voices is very simple._

_Without hosts I cannot identify another Tok'ra, not easily. We'll figure it out. "We'll save them."_

I wake up feeling afraid and lost. It takes a second to remember the dream. I feel the need to hug my host...except I have no idea who is it. I'll settle for a hug with...hey, where is Martouf? I get out of bed and go into the main room. He's not here either. "Martouf?" Where is he! I go outside.

_Cold! _Samantha thinks as she wakes up. _Why are we outside in the snow in a nightgown._

The air is freezing, chilling her skin already. Her feet are bare. I looks around. "Martouf!" I cross my arms in trying to get warmer. _I need a hug._

Martouf comes around the corner. "'Carter?'" He frowns and approaches quickly. "You'll freeze!"

I hug him quickly. "Martouf."

He hugs back as he brings me back into the house. "You're cold." He puts a blanket around me.

"I was looking for you."

"I was getting more firewood."

We sit on Anise's bed, which is when I realize she isn't here either. "Um..." I look down at the bed. "Shouldn't Freya be sleeping here?"

"I don't think she ever came home."

"That wasn't nice of her. I could be very worried for all she knows."

Martouf smiles. "You don't seem that worried."

"That's...not the point."

It's quiet for a moment. Martouf speaks again. "I need to get more firewood."

I nod slightly. He leaves. I should change.

--Tok'ra Base--

--Jacob--

_"Did I fall asleep?"_

_"Yes."_

_A young woman is standing in front of me, wearing a layered dress. "Hello Selmak." She likes looking like Saroosh in our dreams. "I shouldn't be asleep. I should be looking through the new scans. Wake me up."_

_"I moved us. We aren't in the conference room anymore."_

_"Why not?"_

_She disappears, leaving me in the world she created for me. I look around. It's one of my old houses. I look up when she reappears a few minutes later. "Who are you talking to?"_

_"Sorry. Garshaw."_

_"Is it about Sam?"_

_"This concerns all the missing."_

_That stings a bit, though I know Selmak hadn't meant it to. Three of the missing Tok'ra are good friends, and I have a lot of respect for all of them. If my daughter wasn't missing, I'd be more worried about them. I frown slightly. Selmak isn't happy with whatever she is about to tell me. "What is it?"_

_"The missing Tok'ra are now considered fallen."_

_I frown more. Fallen. The Tok'ra word for "We're pretty sure they're dead." More importantly, it also means, "We aren't going to look anymore." I consider the missing. I want to argue on their behalf, but I realize the Tok'ra are right in doing this. We ran out of places to look several days ago, and Olokum, if he was looking for them in the first place, seemed to have given up weeks ago._

_"Kela'an is going to continue to monitor transmissions to and from Olokum. You know he's not ready to give up them, especially his mates, and all ours spies will continue to watch for any signs of them."_

_"What news do you have on Sam and Daniel?" I could get the answer easily from her, just as I would any other time. For this I decided not to._

_"They have been declared MIA."_

_I nod slightly. I know Jack hasn't given up on them, however, the SGC has less to do in the search than we do. "They'll come back. They'll all come back and prove us all wrong."_

_"There is one other thing." Selmak seems unsure of herself._

_"What?"_

_"Well-"_

_I hate when she stalls._

_"-As you know-"_

_Garshaw does the same thing when she is about to say something she doesn't want to say. I wonder if Selmak got it from Garshaw, or if Garshaw got it from Selmak._

_-when the Tok'ra are declared fallen, it is tradition-"_

_"Are we giving them a funeral?" I interrupt._

_"...Yes."_

_"Kind of figured."_

_"The Tok'ra would also like to hold a funeral for Sam."_

_What? "What?"_

_"Many Tok'ra held a high amount of respect for her. If the Tok'ra do not give her a funeral, Garshaw believes that some will be angry."_

_"Most of them never met her." Wait. "Held. They _held _respect for her? You're already referring to her in past tense!"_

_"Have you met everyone you respect?" She completely ignores that she spoke of Sam in the past tense. Fallen Tok'ra are considered past tense, and though Sam isn't Tok'ra, she is considered fallen._

_I know Sam was respected, but Tok'ra very rarely give funerals to non-Tok'ra, which makes me wonder who this funeral is really for. I frown slightly when I realize Selmak is picking up on my thoughts but isn't quick to answer the question. I'm not going to let her avoid this. "If there is a funeral..." I cringe. I don't like thinking about a funeral for Sam. "...will they be mourning her or will they be mourning what is left of Jolinar?"_

_"Probably both." She continues when my response is a frown. "She's earned respect in her own right, both in her accomplishments against the Goa'uld and her openness to a alliance with the Tok'ra. She also has respect in being your daughter. However, there is also the fact that she wa..." Selmak trails off, stopping herself from saying "was." She glances down. "...is Jolinar's last host."_

_Thank you for the "is." Jolinar had a funeral, two actually. One for being declared fallen and another when her death was confirmed. Now she'll get a third one._

_"This funeral is more for Sam. If you don't approve of it now, we will hold it when you are ready."_

_Sammy._

_"We know she may still be alive." She hopes I allow the funeral, but she wants the choice to be mine._

_I hate this. They are going to mourn her whether I allow the funeral or not. Delaying it will make it harder on them, but she's my daughter. My daughter. The Tok'ra don't know her. Most haven't even met her. They didn't encourage her at six to be whatever she wanted to be. They didn't buy astronaut toys for her when she was seven. They didn't stop fights between her and Mark. They didn't deal with her mother's death. They didn't watch her do great in school, nor did they watch her struggle with being a woman in the Air Force. They didn't get rejected every time they tried to help. They didn't feel the pride of realizing her career far surpasses everything she dreamed of._

_"Jacob."_

_"When are the funerals?"_

_"In two weeks."_

_"Then I have two weeks to decide."_

--Planet Neeria--

--Martouf--

I return with more firewood. "The weather is getting worse. It's starting to snow really hard." I set the firewood down, a bit glad to see that Samantha and 'Carter' are dressed warmly. "What was so important that you didn't mind freezing?"

"I needed a hug."

"Another dream?"

'Carter' smiles. "I remembered being removed from my host."

The smile with that statement seems kind of funny together.

'Lantash' frowns. _She remembers being removed, then needs a hug from you?_

I grin slightly, mostly because of what my symbiote said. "You remember that then need to find me?" I chuckle slightly.

"Well, I went looking for whoever was closest."

"So I am convenient."

'Carter' moves closer and wraps her arms around. "No, you're special. You noticed I didn't go looking for Freya." She frowns slightly when the wind starts picking up. "How bad is it snowing?"

I look to the door, though its not like that'll tell me anything. "It's getting worse."

"I think we should start preparing for the worse."

Can it be that bad?

_Yes_, 'Lantash' thinks.

I wonder if the real Lantash is that negative.

_Hmph._

_Er, sorry. _I head out again and Samantha follows. The snow tries to bury us, but it's the snow we need, so we don't go that far.

--Gete--

Amb rushes into the store, covered in snow. Aw Amb. I hurry over and close the door behind him. "You shouldn't be out in this weather."

"It wasn't like this when I started." He wipes off snow. "I was sent to get food." He starts pulling out small wooden toys. I don't have much to trade for it."

"You can't go back out in that weather."

"But Bex and his family needs food."

"And you live two hours away. You'll freeze to death."

"Not if I hurry."

I hate how stubborn he is being. "You can die...and that might be my symbiote you have in your head. You aren't risking him."

Amb's eyes flash. "I believe that is for me to decide."

"But..." Two against one. "Starna!"

Starna comes in. "Hello." She notices the frowning 'Malek.' "What is going on?"

"They want to go out in the snow," I answer.

"It's not that bad," 'Malek' insists.

Starna goes to a near window and looks out. Afterwards she looks at 'Malek' as if he's completely insane. "Wait until the weather has cleared up."

"They're hungry."

"We've all been hungry before. They can deal."

"But-" He stops when the wind picks up. 'Malek' looks out the window, seeing it's gotten much worse. "Very well."

Starna looks over him. "Gete, find him something dry to wear." She smiles. "I'm sure it'll get better soon. You are welcomed to stay here until then."

---

"It didn't get better."

It's been five days since the storm started. I stir my food. "The weather did get better. It's not snowing as hard." I think he just rolled his eyes at me. "Well, it did."

"Yes, but now we can't leave the house."

I grumble. _It's not my fault he got snowed in. Don't you think he should stop blaming me?__Yes, yes, he should, and he should thank you for not allowing him to leave. Though in all honestly, given when it started snowing harder, he probably would have noticed that before leaving in the first place._

"Gete, why are you staring?"

I look to 'Malek.' "I was just complaining about you."

"To... What?"

"I..." I stir my food again. "I think to myself."

He doesn't answer for a bit. He eats some of his food. "Well, when things are set right, maybe Aldwin can go through your memories and answer everything."

_I should take notes then._ I feel so tired. I haven't been able to sleep much.

'Malek' picks up a piece of bread. "Do you think Tok'ra always wear those beige outfits."

_Random question_. It makes me grin anyway. "I imagine they do. They are comfortable." I wish I could wear mine. It shows off the legs though, and legs aren't to be seen on this planet. The number of pockets are nice too. I bet the Tok'ra never have to carry anything because of it.

--Samantha--

The house feels cramped, and it keeps giving 'Carter' nightmares about being put in that damn tank. She keeps muttering about how much she hates tanks. I try to help her. If I was a symbiote who was ripped from my host and slammed into a tank, I'd probably hate tanks too. The situation is giving me nightmares too. Memories of being controlled while in some type of cell. Our dreams often combine.

Martouf is carefully cutting some roots. "If we add some juice, it'll be sweeter."

I watch him for a moment. _I'm very glad he's trapped with us._ I don't know how I'd be reacting if 'Carter' and I were alone.

He puts the roots in a bowl. "'Lantash' thinks I should preserve the juice. Only a few drops would be enough to make it a little sweeter." He looks to me. "What do you think?"

"I wouldn't mind the drops."

He smiles and adds a few drops of juice to the bowl. He stirs carefully. "I think this will be better than last night's dinner. Tomorrow I can add some water and make it stew."

Trapped in a cabin, and so far every meal has been different. Martouf likes to prepare food to deal with it all. "I wonder if you ever cook for the Tok'ra."

He grins. "I hope not."

"Really?"

"I like cooking special meals. Cooking for...well, however many Tok'ra there are, it wouldn't be special."

I look over to the flower Martouf gave me on our first date. It is dried and laying on the dresser where I originally put it. Next to it is the bowl of leaves Daniel gave Anise.

Martouf sits on the bed. "Dinner is ready."

I join him. "What did you make today?"

He loves telling me, even though I just watched him do it. He tells me how delicately the roots are chopped, and reminds me to taste for the hint of sweetness. He always has me taste it first, and is proud every time I tell him I like it. He makes each meal special. Really, he makes each moment special.

--Day 54--

--Tok'ra Base--

--Selmak--

It's been two weeks since Jacob and I discussed the funerals. We haven't discussed it since, though he's thought about it. Garshaw approaches us that morning. I give Jacob control, not knowing his answer. He didn't want me to see his thought process, and I respected that.

Garshaw is delicate with the question. "Today we will be mourning our fallen Tok'ra."

Jacob wants to answer her. His mind is trying, but he can't move.

"The Tok'ra wish to properly mourn your daughter, but only if you agree to it."

Jacob looks down before nodding his head. "She...we bury those who are gone."

Garshaw gives a small nod before setting out to prepare the funerals.

Jacob goes up to the surface where people work around him. He sees one man scratching into a small rock. Jacob watches until the Tok'ra notices. He looks almost guilty. "Jacob."

"Is that Sam's rock?"

"Yes."

"I want to see it." Jacob is handed over the rock. It's a nice rock, a type of white granite. Some of the edges are rough, scratching Jacob's hand. One side has been smoothed over, and that is the part being carved. He traces his thumb over one of the rough sides. "Isn't this rock rough?"

"She was a strong warrior," the Tok'ra responds.

"She was also smart. I don't see where this shows she was..." Jacob stops, realizing that he referred her in past tense. _She's really gone. _

I hug him.

_My daughter is gone, and I'm lecturing him about a stupid rock._ He shakes his head as he hands the rock back over. "The rock is fine." He walks away, finding a place to sit. _I want my daughter back. How did she die?_

There is no good answer to that, especially since it seems likely that she was killed by Olokum.

_Did she suffer? Did he make her suffer? _Jacob is getting angry. _What did he do to her!_ Several horrible images flash through his mind. He hates it, but he wants to know how she could have died. _What did he do to her afterwards? _He shivers as he realizes the truth. _He probably discarded her._

_Jacob..._ I want to help, but I am not sure how. Would it be best if I let him think through all this? It's upsetting him though.

_He probably tortured her to death then threw her away. He would have thrown her away!_

_He could not have destroyed her soul. That is safe no matter what happened to her body._

_You don't know that! What if he did destroy her soul before? What if he destroyed her mind? What if he took everything she was?_

_I...I don't know._

_I want my daughter back. I want Sam back!_

_Jacob...she's not coming back._

to be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf  
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant  
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.  
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.  
Thom-Doctor


	9. Freckles and Squeals

(Sweetangel4, thanks for the review. Nice to see you comment on who's in who. Here's another chapter. I hope you enjoy it.)

Part 9, Freckles and Squeals

--Day 59--

--Earth--

--Jack--

I look at a bowl of jello. Not really feeling hungry. Jacob arrived on Earth an hour ago. Selmak was the one in control, saying Jacob didn't want to talk. He said they were going to Mark's. I thought they were going to update him on the progress, but it wasn't just for an update...it was for a funeral.

I can't believe Jacob is giving Sam a funeral.

I feel just as guilty. I've declared her and Daniel missing in action, but I know they are out there. I just...have no idea where to look.

Teal'c sits down in front of me. I know what he is going to ask. "I'm not changing my mind."

"I believe Jacob Carter would appreciate all her friends being there."

"Teal'c, I'm not giving up on them."

"Nor am I."

"But you are going to her funeral."

"According to Selmak, Jacob Carter would want me to be there."

He says he's going for Jacob's sake, but I know part of him is going in case Jacob is right. This particular funeral sounds like it's for family and long time friends anyway, much longer than I've known Sam.

Teal'c leaves the table. I don't think he approves of me not going. I'm not giving up on them though.

--Planet Neeria--

--Daniel--

I study one of the books until my eyes blur. I rub them, but that doesn't help much. "Anise?"

"I can't heal you."

I grin a bit to her reference to an earlier joke. "Are you still able to read?"

"Yes."

"Any headaches?"

She smiles. "Yes."

"We need more light."

She shuts the book and looks to me. "Is it time we exchange information?"

I grin, and our discussion begins. We tell each other everything we read and connect that to what we've seen while living with the Neerians. Doctor Thom sometimes listens to us discuss his people, grinning knowingly, not telling us who's right or wrong when have an argument. He usually sleeps though.

I don't know how long we've been in here, but the last we checked, the door still wouldn't open. Studying and having these discussions helps pass the time. That and sleeping. I've been sleeping a lot, not as much as the doctor, but more than usual.

Anise and I argue with how we believe early Neerians lived. She and Freya usually side against me, but sometimes one will agree with me. This time, all three of us have our own opinions. Freya and Anise alternate between arguing with me, and I'm sure they are also arguing with each other.

--Martouf--

_What do I do!_ I ask 'Lantash.' I'm holding a bowl and looking at the food in it.

_This is no reason to panic._

_I can't think of what to cook._

_We can have what we had yesterday._

_I don't want what I had yesterday._

_You liked it._

I shake my head. _Yes, I liked it, but I don't want it again. I need to be creative. _I look over our supplies. _I'll add bark dust!_

'Lantash' sighs. _Add bark dust._

I add bark dust and taste it. It doesn't make much of a difference. I sigh and close my eyes. _I'm tired._

_You should sleep then._

I look over at Sam, who is asleep on the bed. She looks so peaceful.

_Join her._

That sounds good. I set everything down and go into the bed. She mutters something as I try not to disturb her. I watch her for a moment. I think she's starting to have another nightmare. I wish I could take the nightmares out of her head.

I close my eyes, soon sleeping myself.

_I wake up feeling lonely. I shake my head slightly. _Lantash? _He still asleep? He's not doing anything. I sit up carefully, slowly realizing I don't sense him at all. _Lantash!

_I get up and start looking around the room. Where am I? I run over to one of the corners, which seems to have a panel on it. Maybe I can-_

_"Ow."_

_I back away, realizing I stepped on someone. "Amb?"_

_He's sitting in the corner. "Yes?" It sounds like he's been crying._

_"What happened?"_

_"I can't feel Malek."_

_Thinking of Lantash, I touch the back of my neck. "He's probably just asleep...very asleep."_

_"Then he needs to wake up."_

_"They aren't asleep," is Freya's voice._

_I look over to her. "What?"_

_"I overheard some of the Jaffa talking. They've been removed."_

_"Removed?" Amb sounds very panicked. "They removed Malek! He's not even in me!"_

_My loneliness has just increased. I touch the back of my neck again. Is Lantash actually gone? Shouldn't I have known this right away? "They removed them instead of killing them," I say as I look around. Gete is here, awake and watching the rest of us. I wish he had said something. "So they are alive. We just have to find them." Where is Samantha and the others? I start pacing the room. A feeling of panic is there through, ready to crush if I let it. "We need to figure a way out."_

_Gete actually chuckles. I look to him. "Any ideas?"_

_"No," He shakes his head, grinning slightly._

_Aldwin tends to smile through rough moments. Hadn't realized Gete was the same way. I always thought Aldwin was somehow responsible. I nod slightly. We'll figure something out._

Something wakes me up. I look around, realizing I'm back in the safety of the cabin. Blended again.

_I didn't like that dream_, 'Lantash' says.

I look to Samantha, who's still asleep. _Did you wake me up?_

_Not that I know of._

I keep looking at Samantha. _I wonder what you look like._

_What?_

_You._

_Me?_

_Yes, you, 'Lantash.' I wonder what you look like._

_Hmm. I wonder what I look like too. _He wiggles. _I'm snake-like. _More wiggling. _My mouth kind of opens in four sections... _He gives me a visual for this. _...and I can squeal._

Sounds a bit creepy.

_Hiss!_

_...and very handsome._

_That's better._

--Day 66--

--Earth--

--Selmak--

Jacob is staring at a plate of cookies and thinking about how Samantha used to make cookies when she was a little girl. He hears someone approach behind us, and that is followed by George Hammond's voice. "Hello Jacob."

"Hi George." Jacob is a bit pleased that he came. Aside from the fact that George is very busy, he feared George might consider the funeral too soon. Most here probably do, but most don't know exactly why Sam disappeared either. "Thank you for coming."

"I wouldn't miss her funeral." He sounds almost offended that Jacob would think otherwise.

Jacob turns to him. "You tend to keep on hoping for the impossible. I know you believe that...certain people..." They both know he refers to the Tok'ra. "...tend to give up too soon. You probably think I'm doing the same."

"Jacob..."

"I know what the odds are though...and I need this. I'm not going to let you or Jack or anyone else to tell me when it is okay to start mourning her. I can't be there for one funeral, then wait months for the next. What am I supposed to do in between? Have hope while I mourn her? That's ridiculous."

"I wasn't judging you."

"Mark thinks it's too soon. I don't blame him. His kids haven't stopped crying, and they are angry at me for not telling them what happened to their aunt." Jacob looks back to the cookies. "I don't blame them either." He pauses. "Mark knows I know more. He keeps asking me if I have any idea what happened to her, how she might have died."

"Do you plan on telling him any more?"

Jacob is quieter as he answers, and he makes sure no one is around to hear it. "How do I tell my son that his sister was probably tortured to death?" Then he's silent for a bit before turning back to George. "How is Teal'c?"

"What?" George is a bit surprised by the question.

"The last time I saw him, he was standing by himself while everyone else was talking."

"I'll go talk to him."

"Thank you."

Teal'c is probably not in a talkative mood anyway. I'm sure George knows this, but neither of us want to point this out to Jacob. If sending George off to talk to Teal'c does a little easing, we aren't going to take that away. Jacob looks at the cookies some more before retreating. I continue watching the cookies, not really sure what to do. It's not the first time that he's had me portray him while on Earth. However, it's awkward to do at his daughter's funeral, and I've never done it with anyone he knew, let alone his family and friends.

_I'm sorry_, Jacob thinks. _I just can't go through another funeral._ He realizes how much he prefers Tok'ra funerals. They are short and to the point. It gives those who want the chance to retreat and mourn alone.

I go into the living room and find Teal'c has somehow ended up in a conversation with two friends Jacob hasn't seen in a while, Robert Forest and Cyrus Glenwood. They spot me and approach. Now what do I do? Jacob is still firmly ignoring reality.

They both look sad, and Robert speaks. "We were really sorry to hear about Sam."

I reply with Jacobness. "Thank you for coming." Yeah, that was stupid.

"She was brilliant woman," Cyrus says. "I'm sure whatever she was doing in that mountain has helped many people."

You have no idea. "I'm sure it has, and it'll keep helping people."

"I know you probably don't want to talk," Cyrus adds. "If there is anything you need..."

I Jacobly nod and add a Jacobly "Thank you." That satisfies them into walking away. I feel bad. They used to be very close to Jacob. They were supportive of him through everything, up until he "miraculously fought off the cancer." Jacob's made a few calls to them while on Earth since then, but he actually hasn't seen them until now. They left him alone because they know what he would have wanted, not knowing they never even spoke to him.

I go back to the kitchen. Less people here. I miss Samantha. Even though she only considered me to be the symbiote in her father, she was my daughter. I loved her as such. Jacob has freely shared the memories of her growing up. She used to go to her dad when something scared her. She stopped for a while, but she started doing it after they grew close again. She was strong, yet when she was afraid, something in the back of her mind said "When I'm scared, Dad will keep me safe." It wasn't just him though. I was there keeping her safe too.

_Then we both failed_, Jacob thinks.

He's right. She kept us safe, but we couldn't do the same. If it weren't for her I would have been dead. She saved me. She trusted me with her father. Martouf once admitted that he asked her to blend with me. I was glad she refused. It would have been awkward with Jolinar having died within her so recently...and I would have never gotten to know Jacob. He would have died of cancer. I would have only known about him through memory. That idea is depressing. I think meeting Martouf helped Samantha trust the Tok'ra as she did. They also both risked going to Netu to save us. Now they are gone.

I look to the cookies again. I have no idea who brought them. They are kind of comforting to look at though.

--Planet Neeria--

--Samantha--

_Daniel and I are thrown into a brig. He sits down. "Captured again."_

_I grin slightly. It seems to be an odd thing to do in this situation. "Well, Teal'c escaped." There were too many Jaffa to fight. Malek practically ordered us to head to through the stargate. I know he intended on following us. All of SG-1 got to the gate, managing to get ahead of the Jaffa. Teal'c dialed, and I sent in the code. We made it up the stairs and waited for Daniel. He ended up having to take cover. Then Teal'c was shot. With that injury I knew he'd make it if he received medical care, so I pushed him through. He didn't look very happy about it, but he was still recovering from the shot, so he couldn't really do anything about it. I waited for Daniel to come up so we could both go through._

_Obviously that last part didn't happen._

_"Um...Sam, what is that?"_

_I approach a tank that Daniel is pointing at. "Goa'uld," I reply bitterly._

_"Why would they put us in a room with Goa'uld?" He frowns. "What exactly do they plan on doing?"_

_One snake quickly approaches the side of the tank, looking at me. I glare at it. Now they are all looking at me. Four of them. Ugh! The first one makes that revolting squeal._

_"I hate those things," Daniel says. "I really hate those things."_

_I glare at the fist symbiote, since it seems to enjoy watching me. Then it turns over. There are five freckles under the lower jaw. I approach closer. Those freckles look familiar._

_"Sam?" Daniel questions._

_I move in close to the glass and study the symbiote. Wait. I find two more freckles where I look for them. I know those freckles! I know him! I open the tank, and he slowly goes to the top. I carefully take him out._

_"Sam!" Daniel is alarmed._

_"It's Lantash."_

_Lantash squeals sadly._

_"Are you sure?" Daniel asks._

_"Yeah, I know what he looks like." I mostly look to the Tok'ra. I want to ask him if he knows where Martouf is, but even if he does know, he couldn't answer me. I gently pet down his back._

_Daniel flinches when Lantash gently nips at the hand holding him. It didn't hurt. It was affectionate. He squeals again. I looks to the others in the tank. Four Tok'ra...four symbiotes. I look back to Lantash. "I assume the others are also Tok'ra."_

_He looks to me. He squeals._

_Daniel looks between curious and still afraid. "I don't know about you, but I haven't learned symbiote."_

_I shrug lightly. "Was that a yes?'_

_Squeal._

_"What would be a no?"_

_Lantash makes a short abrupt squeal that sounds almost like a chirp._

_"So it was a yes."_

_Squeal._

_"Do you know where Martouf is?"_

_Sad chirp._

_"I'm sorry."_

_He makes another type of squeal. I have no idea what he is saying. He makes another affectionate nip then leans over to the tank. I put him back in it. He swims around to look at me. I kind of miss holding him. I like his little nip. It was comforting somehow. I feel bad about what I said earlier. "I'm sorry I insulted you."_

_All four squeal back at me._

_I grin, then look to Daniel. "Well, I'm either being forgiven or scolded."_

_Daniel moves closer. "That didn't sound like angry squeals."_

_I look back to them, mostly to Lantash. I knew what he looked like, but it's the first I've actually seen him. He's cute, especially with those freckles. Almost beautiful really, though I don't know how he'd feel about being called that. He has a nice voice, well, squeal. I prefer it when it doesn't sound sad. I wonder where Martouf is. I'll keep Lantash safe until we find Martouf. I love them. I could never tell them. They couldn't possibly feel the same way. Care for me? Yes. Love me? No. I think about how we met. If they learned how I really felt...I don't know what I'd do. It might hurt them, and I don't want to ever hurt them._

to be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf  
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant  
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.  
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.  
Thom-Doctor


	10. Sleep

(Sweetangel4, thank you. I'm curious to what you think. :) )

Part 10, Sleep

--Planet Neeria--

--Samantha--

I wake up feeling a bit sad. Why couldn't I tell Martouf how he felt? I notice he's in the bed. I wiggle around to look at him. Can't really roll without knocking him out. I loved him, and I believe I still do, but why would it hurt him? I watch him sleep.

_Ignore the dream_, 'Carter' thinks.

_But I might hurt him._

_If what? If the Tok'ra come? If we get our memory back? You might hurt him if life changes, but you will hurt him if end the relationship over a dream._

_I love him._

_I love him too._

I keep watching him sleep. Could how I feel really hurt him?

_If he thought that loving you would hurt you before you lost your memories, would you want him to end the relationship now?_

_No. _Of course not.

He wakes up after a moment. "Samantha." He frowns slightly. "You don't look happy."

"I was just thinking."

He sits up and stretches. "About what."

I don't answer. What do I answer? _He would have never loved me before this._

_So what? I probably wouldn't have even been involved before this. My emotions started from you. Everything I feel about him is because of you. Does that make it less valid? Of course not. It's part of what is it to blend. This is our new life Samantha. His, 'Lantash's,' yours, and mine, and we can't live it based on what may or may not be trace memories of our previous lives. Maybe there was never a chance for him to love you before, but he does now. If you don't believe me, then ask him._

I look to Martouf, who is still looking concerned at us. I bite my lip briefly. "How do you feel about us?"

Martouf doesn't hesitate. "We love you."

_I told you he loved us_, 'Carter' says happily and arrogantly.

I grin slightly as he sits back down on the bed. He takes my hand. "What did you dream about?"

"Lantash."

His eyes flash.

I grin, feeling a bit guilty. "No, this was before we lost our memories, so..."

"The real Lantash." He looks disappointed.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. You were there too though. All four of you were, and you all squealed at me."

"Was I cute?"

I have no idea which one he was but... "Yes."

He grins. "What did I say?"

I don't know.

_"Forgiven."_

_What? _I'm surprised.

_That's what they all squealed at you, basically_, 'Carter' thinks._ Don't be so surprised that I understood them, I was one of them._

_So what were all the things that Lantash said?_

_'Carter' goes over the dream. "Pretty," that's what he called you, "it is me." "Yes, it is me." "Did they hurt you?" "Yes." "Yes." "No." "Yes." "No." "I miss Host. Put me in the water." "Forgiven."_

I grin a bit, focusing on part of it. _Pretty?_

_Well, he can't squeal your name, so he gave you a new one._

Well, he may not have loved me, but he thought I was pretty.

_I think he underestimated that. You're beautiful._

I relay most of the dream, including the new translations, to Martouf and 'Lantash.' I leave out the truth of my feelings at the time. Martouf smiles whenever he is in control. 'Lantash' is amused. They start with dinner afterwards. It looks like they started earlier. Martouf looks a little annoyed at the food, but refuses my help. He comes back to the bed with food when he's done.

I watch him for a moment after getting my meal. "We love you too."

Martouf grins. "I should have created a better dinner for this."

I look to the plate. "This is perfect."

"You always say that, even if you don't like the taste."

I grin slightly. It's not the food, Martouf. It's you.

--'Malek'--

Gete is sitting in a corner, tightly closing his eyes, and holding his head. He's muttering something.

I approach him. "Gete."

"I'm talking," he says firmly.

"With whom?"

"To Aldwin."

"Aldwin isn't there."

"Shhh!" He starts muttering to himself again.

"Gete, you need to sleep." In the past couple weeks he has gotten very little sleep.

"I'm talking," he repeats, now angry.

I kneel down by him. "I know you have been having trouble getting to sleep, but you haven't been trying anymore. You need to go to bed."

He starts muttering Aldwin's name over and over again.

"Gete!"

He looks up to me with hate. "I have to figure out what Aldwin is saying." He closes his eyes again, putting his head in his hands. "I can't go to bed until I figure out what he's saying."

"He's telling you to go to bed."

Gete looks back up to me. "Is he?"

"Yes." I'm surprised he believed that, and I hope he keeps believing me.

"How do you know what he's saying?"

"Because I'm telepathic." I feel bad for lying. "He's telling you to go to bed and close your eyes."

Gete shakes his head. "I have to hear him myself."

"He says you can't until you've gotten enough sleep." That makes no sense, but neither does anything Gete is saying. At least I know I'm not making sense.

"Why?" He frowns and starts crying.

_You made him cry!_ Amb scolds.

I didn't mean to do that! "It's...the..." Um... "The Goa'uld. Yes, they are doing this." I help him up. "They made it so you can't hear him, but the trick is getting enough sleep."

He gets into bed, but immediately sits back up. "How much sleep is enough?"

"The more sleep you get, the better you can hear him."

He lays back down and closes his eyes. I sit in a chair and watch over him. Gete is too tense. He lays there stiffly for a long time, trying to sleep. He repositions every once in a while. Finally he sits back up. "I failed."

"You need to keep trying." There must be something that would help him.

Gete rubs his eyes.

"Stay there." I get up and head downstairs. I explore the store a while before spotting the music box he always plays. I forgot about that. I head back upstairs with it. I find him staring up at the ceiling as I turn the box on.

"Aldwin," he says as soon as the music starts. He relaxes and closes his eyes.

I repeatedly play the music, and it takes several minutes before I think he might be asleep.

---

"'Malek.'"

I wake up and rub my eyes. "You should be asleep."

"I woke up." He still looks exhausted, and I hope he doesn't remember my promise. He sits down in the chair near me. "It stopped snowing."

"That's good."

"Maybe we can escape soon."

"Hopefully." I'm very worried about Bex and his family.

"Rescue the others," Gete mutters. He closes his eyes. "The music disappeared. I think I remembered Aldwin. He used to sing to me..." He touches his forehead lightly. "...in my head. It wasn't words, just melody...when we first blended." He looks to me. "I was afraid of some of the other Tok'ra. They all looked very serious." He pauses for a moment. "Do you think the Tok'ra are still looking for us?"

"I don't know."

"I hope they are."

I grin. "Me too."

--Day 70--

--Daniel--

Laying on what is normally a bed for patients, I look up at the ceiling. Anise and I still debate, but there is nothing else left to read. I close my eyes. I hear a faint sound of scraping. Thom and Anise are busy playing a game. They don't seem to be responding to the noise. Am I hearing things?

"How long have we been here?" I ask.

"Three weeks," Thom answers. He grins as he makes a good move in the game. He enjoys watching his opponent frown. "You may be a smart snake, but I always win this game."

Anise concentrates for a long time before moving her piece. "I've read about some snakes eating men." She looks happy with her move.

"Yeah, but it's usually the other way around." The doctor makes several moves that he ends with a "Ha!"

Anise frowns, staring at the board for a moment. Then Freya takes control.

"Bringing in help I see. Daniel, do you think it's fair that I am playing against two?"

"It is if you always win this game." I briefly close my eyes again, hearing more scraping. "Anyone else hear that?"

Freya looks over and gets up.

"Hey, the game!" Thom exclaims as he quietly and quickly moves some of the pieces. I'll have to watch for that the next time I play with him.

"I don't hear anything," Freya says as she sits back down She frowns in confusion as she looks over the game. "Did something move?"

"Oh, you play two against one, and you excuse me of cheating?"

Freya studies the board before making her move. She winces when Thom makes a victory move. They start picking up the pieces.

I close my eyes for a second... Suddenly Freya is there and telling me I sleep too much. "Was that what I was doing?" I sit up.

"Only for a second." She takes my hand with hers. "It's not healthy to sleep so much."

"Yeah, well..."

She turns around, looking to the door. "Was it shoveling you heard?"

"Scraping."

"I hear it too."

"Really?" I look to the door. I was starting to believe I was hearing things or dreamed it. I follow her to the door.

"Hello!" Freya calls out.

"Freya?" The voice is muffled by the door and whatever snow is between us.

Freya grins. "'Malek!'" She looks to me. "It's 'Malek.'" She turns back to the door. "Hello 'Malek!'"

"Are Thom and Daniel in there?"

I grin. "Yes, we're here."

"Everyone is alive?"

"Yes, we're all alive."

I hear victory cheers. I realize they had no idea if we were alive or not when they started digging. Freya gets Thom back in the room. After waiting a while, Freya and I take turns trying to force the door open. It finally works with both of us pushing on it.

I quickly charge outside. Fresh air! The outside look beautiful. It smells good. It's clean. It's cold! Wow is it cold!

Freya comes out with extra layers for me to add. I thank her as I take them. I look to our rescuers as I put on the last top layer, a jacket. It's Amb, Gete, and some others. Most look exhausted and paler.

"We're digging out the town," Gete announces in a cheerful voice. "Want to help?"

"Of course."

Freya and I are given our own shovels. Thom, who is not healthy enough to to dig iced snow, is taken to a building set up for those who can't help.

The rest of us head to the next building.

--Day 73--

--'Lantash'--

"Ow!" I drop the knife and look at the cut I accidentally made on Martouf's hand. Now I have to heal that.

"What happened?" Samantha asks.

"I accidentally cut myself." Slow the bleeding.

Samantha looks at hand. "Ouch."

"I know." Coagulate the blood.

"Can I help?"

Rebuild the skin. "No need." It's all stuff the body does anyway, but I speed it along. "See?"

Samantha kisses what is left of the cut. "You did a good job."

"Thank you." I pick the knife up and set it on the table.

"I wish I could heal myself faster."

I touch the side of her neck. "That's what 'Carter' is for."

"You make her sound like a healing device." She grins. "Besides, she won't be there for long if the Tok'ra find us."

I kiss her softly. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I really hate this house."

Samantha laughs lightly. "Yeah, I am starting to hate it too."

"When spring comes, Martouf and I can build you a new one." I kiss her again. "Freya and Anise can have this one."

"You and Martouf making my plans without me?"

"It can be right next to this one if you want."

She grins. "'Lantash.'"

"Of course it'll be Martouf and 'Lantash' friendly."

"Wouldn't it be easier to add on to this one?"

"This house isn't made that well. It's cramped and lets in too much of the weather."

"So Freya and Anise get to keep it?"

I kiss her again. "We love you."

Samantha shakes her head slightly as she pulls away. "You actually want to build me a house?"

"Yes."

"You and Martouf have been discussing this?"

"We really hate this house."

"This is... You want to build me a house. Most guys don't built a house for their girlfriends."

"If you don't like that, then we'll build us a house that you can live in."

"'Lantash.'"

"It's just a house."

She sits on the bed. "It implies more."

"I'm not asking for more. I am only asking to give you a gift that will keep you safer and more comfortable. That is not much."

Samantha still looks to be in disbelief.

"We don't even have to wait until spring. We can work during the winter."

"I'll talk to 'Carter' about it when she wakes up."

I go into the bed, kissing her as I take her arms. "We love you."

She holds my arms in return. "We love you too."

--

A couple days later we are freed from the wretched house. Samantha and I wish to help rescue others, but we were one of the last to be rescued. The week after is devoted to recovery and funerals. The family that took in Amb were one of the ones found dead, starved to death. The daughter had been found holding the engagement present her fiancé had given her.

Martouf and I start looking for supplies to build us a house. Even if Samantha says no, we can move in the house ourselves. Along the way, people we became friends with, or owe us, offer to help when we start building.

For really the first time, Martouf and I feel like we really belong here.

To be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf  
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant  
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.  
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.  
Thom-Doctor


	11. Settled

(Thanks, Sweetangel4. The story will start revealing who's in who. Curious if you have any thoughts or comments about the others. Also curious to what you think of the dream/flashbacks.)

Part 11, Settled

--Samantha--

I take up extra jobs to help pay for Martouf's house. A couple others are building new houses too, so I work for them. I wish I could help on the house he's building, but someone needs to earn goods to give to the workers. I feel a bit bad. They don't get much, but are happy a long as they get meals.

Freya picks at her bread. "I saw your house today. The bottom looks good. You are going to have nice floor."

"It's not my house."

"You should take it."

"You don't mind if I just leave you here?"

She looks a bit sad. "I'll miss you, but we both knew we wouldn't be staying here forever."

I grin slightly. "I was thinking you wanted me out of here so Daniel can move in."

Freya starts blushing. It fades away, though her expression stays the same. I'm sure 'Anise' has something to do with that. She shakes her head. "He wouldn't move in here."

"It'd be too cramped."

"I don't think this house is too cramped."

"That's because you weren't stuck in it." I sit down. It's been a very tiring day. "I'm going to go to sleep."

"Good night, Samantha."

--Day 101--

--Tok'ra Base--

--Selmak--

Jacob rearranges his personal items on his table. Three frames to fill. For one he picks a picture of him and Samantha laughing. He sets it down. _What do you think?_

_She looks perfect._

_There aren't any pictures with her and Martouf together. I think they would have liked having a picture together._ He pauses briefly. _Do you think they were together in the end?_

_I don't know._

_I hope they were. _He had noticed the way they were with each other. The way Martouf and Lantash were protective of her. The way she brightened when she saw them. The mere mention of the other one's name would bring a smile. _What was I thinking? Letting them figure out how they felt on their own. They didn't have the time to waste to figure it out._ He sat down. _We need to go on a mission. Put my mind on work. The Tok'ra don't seem to want me to do that._

_They didn't want you taking a mission that would involve working for Olokum, and I agreed with them._

_I could have handled it._

_You wouldn't have minded bowing to him? You wouldn't have minded "Yes, my lord"ing him? You aren't going to be interested in ripping him out and squeezing him to death?_

_The thought did cross my mind._ Jacob grins slightly as he imagines doing just this.

_Hosts or symbiotes who have personal issues with a particular Goa'uld don't get sent to missions dealing with that Goa'uld. Not until they've been given time enough. You know this._

_Hmph. _Jacob finishes his reports before deciding to go to sleep. I proofread over what he wrote, fixing some of the errors. "Hello," I say when someone walks into the room.

Garshaw answers. "Hello."

"I'm almost done with the reports."

"I came to see how Jacob was doing. Is he awake?"

"He fell asleep a few minutes ago."

Her brief silence is a sign of her disappointment. "How is he doing?"

"The same."

"Still having nightmares?"

I nod lightly. It's common for him to have nightmares after losing someone close to him. When his wife died he had several nightmares about the car accident. They were rather similar since he has some idea of what happened. Now he's having nightmares about Sam. Having no idea what happened, there are several versions, but fearing the worse in life, the dreams involve her dying alone and painfully...sometimes screaming...sometimes crying. Sometimes he'll have dreams of rescuing her, but when he wakes up he's pained to realize she is still gone.

"In time you'll be able to help him," Garshaw says.

I nod slightly. What I haven't told her was that I often share in the nightmares.

Garshaw notices the new pictures put up. "I haven't seen this one in a while." She picks up the one with Sam and Jacob laughing. "Was this before or after you?"

"I was there. Mark took the picture. We didn't know he had until he sent the picture to Sam."

Garshaw puts the picture down. "Not very observant of you," she teases.

"Mark is stealthy," I excuse.

"I am curious to meet the man who catches a Tok'ra unguarded."

I know she's curious to meet Mark in general. She and Yosef are good friends with Jacob. They had met Sam often enough to know her rather well. Mark, to her and many Tok'ra, is the "mystery Carter." They hear about him. They've seen pictures of him. No one has actually met him though. Not even me. I get to watch him interact with his father, but it's impossible to say we've met when I've never actually spoken to him and he doesn't know I exist.

Garshaw turns a bit more serious. "How have you been doing?"

"I think you already know." I sigh. "Jacob and I will help each other through this." It's difficult. The people I normally go for support are all dead now.

--Day 105--

--Planet Neeria--

--Samantha--

"Martouf, I've seen the house."

"You haven't seen it finished."

"Martouf, I want to see."

"Not yet." He continues to lead me while I'm blindfolded. He unexpectedly lifts me up.

"Marrtooouf."

"I don't want you to trip."

He seems to step up as we go into shadow. He sets me down, and I feel a wooden floor under my feet. He takes the blindfold off. I find myself in a room the size of my previous house. Three rooms are connected to it. One that only has a half wall separating the two rooms, and the other that has a doorless doorway. The third room is an loft, which is reached by a ladder. The main room also has a fireplace. As I walk around, I realize the floor isn't directly on the ground. "Martouf."

He looks very proud. "Want it?"

"You worked so hard on it."

"So did you. I'd be in debt if you hadn't been paying people."

"Martouf, it's beautiful." Somehow I never thought anyone would build me a house.

"It's next to some nice farmland...and the river goes by it too."

I go from room to room, looking at all the work.

He follows me. "You don't have to use the land to grow anything, but I know you use the river by your house, and if you do use the land, you have a good source of water near."

_I want it_, 'Carter' thinks.

_He should have his own house._

_I think he wants us both to have it in the future._

Martouf is still grinning. "I know you have a lack of furniture, but that can be fixed over time. Freya said you can take your bed with you, well, the mattress. Sometimes I wonder if the house was built around the bed frame because I don't see a possible way of taking that out."

"All right."

His expression and voice light up. "You'll take it!"

_Yea!_ 'Carter' thinks.

"Yes, but I'm making sure it's very Martouf and 'Lantash' friendly.

Martouf pulls me in a hug and swings us around. "You'll love it."

I allow 'Carter' to take over, who kisses him softly. "We do love it."

--Daniel--

I knock on Thom's door. He's taking a long nap. I don't think he meant to sleep this long. "Thom?" I quietly enter when he doesn't answer. "I don't mean to disturb you, but you said to wake you if it got too late." I approach quietly. "Thom?"

He doesn't respond.

I say his name a couple more times before shaking him. "Thom?"

He still doesn't respond...and he feels cold.

I watch him for a second before checking his pulse and breathing. There is none.

I hurry over and knock on Ichard's door. His wife answers, who calls for Ichard as soon as she sees me. Ichard comes to the door. "Hello Daniel."

"Thom...he..." I remember the expression I have heard Thom and Ichard use. "His spirit left."

Ichard frowns and hurries out the door. I follow him back to Thom's room and find him checking on the doctor. Ichard looks downward. "I was hoping you were wrong."

For the next couple days I help prepare for the funeral, which is held in the evening. I find Martouf sitting at a table and writing notes. "Hello Martouf."

"Hello Daniel." Martouf doesn't look up.

"What are you doing?"

"I didn't know about the funeral until a couple hours ago. I haven't had time to write my letter to him." He frowns as he looks at it. "I don't think he'll be able to read it though. It's not in his language."

I look at the paper and realize he's writing everything in three different languages. They all look familiar, but I don't know any of them.

"I'm hoping, wherever he is, he can find someone who knows one of the languages." Martouf looks to me. "He's to be burned? Like the others?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. A body should be burned." He signs his letter, gets up, and walks over to add the letter to the other letters, which are piled over the body. His eyes flash as he looks over to me. "How are Amb and 'Malek' dealing with the loss of Bex and his family?"

Seems odd that he wouldn't know, but I realize he's been very busy with his house...or Sam's house. Did she agree to take it? "Well, he inherited the house, but I think he still feels guilty about it. You might want to talk to Gete. They spend a lot of time together. How is Samantha?"

"She is happy with her new house."

"It's finished? She accepted it?"

"Yes."

"That's great."

Ichard motions everyone to sit down. Afterwards he starts talking about how great Thom was. Everyone is asked to say something about him, usually tell a story. I find myself wishing I knew what to say. I thought about it so much, but in the end, I never came up with something. I end up talking about the game he loved to play, and how he'd brag about never losing. I leave out that he cheated, but someone else brings it up, and the town laughs in good memory. I realize they all knew, but let him die thinking they didn't.

Afterwards the body is burned. We eat his favorite foods in his memory. Ichard approaches me as I pick up bread. "Daniel, I wish to discuss our living arrangements."

I nod. With Ichard as the new official doctor, the house now belongs to him. "You want to move in."

"Yes."

"And the house isn't really big enough for you, your family, and me."

Ichard looks guilty. "Yes."

"I kind of figured. I'll make new living arrangements."

"I don't want to kick you out. I was thinking that you could move to my old home."

"Really? Don't you have an apprentice who will be moving there?"

Ichard smiles briefly. "He's eight. He'll be living with his parents for a while longer."

I grin. "Good point."

"I'll leave you to your meal."

I nod and finish my bread.

--Day 113--

--Amb--

I get to my house after the funeral. My house. It shouldn't be mine. These people had no other family, but it still shouldn't be mine. I go into the bed and rest. I wish Gete was here.

_I'll hug you_, 'Malek' thinks. He sends warm vibrations through my skin.

_Thank you, but it's not the same._

_He's busy. Tomorrow night he'll be here._

I smile.

_We're tired anyway._

I nod briefly, though it seems odd to nod to someone living in your head. I cuddle in the bed and close my eyes. Sleep comes soon.

_I was somewhat comfortable in my corner until Martouf stepped on me. I try to hide the fact that I've been crying, but I think they all know. Why can't I feel Malek?_

_Freya informs us that she heard that they had been removed._

"_Removed?" I feel as though my chest has been filled with cotton. "They removed Malek! He's not even in me!" Now my chest hurts._

_Martouf says some nonsense on how they were removed instead of killed, so they must be alive. That doesn't help. He's just making it up to give us hope, and now he's asking for ideas. Malek would have an idea. Martouf starts pacing, as if that would help. He seems calm, but then gets snappy when Freya tells him for the third time that he should be sitting. Gete is in another corner...oddly smiling. It's a scared smile though. One that's clearly forced. The type he only has when he's on the verge of breaking down._

_None of us come up with anything, and now I have a headache too._

_Two Jaffa come, and all I realize is one comes towards me. He grabs me by the arm and pins me down. The back of my head hits the floor, and a sharp ringing pain fills my mind. _Malek! Malek!_ I feel a sharp pinpoint of pain in my arm, and I fall completely when my arm is released._

_I check my arm as the Jaffa gets up. It was a needle. I've been drugged. I look around. Only one Jaffa is drugging us. Right now Gete is the victim. The other Jaffa is aiming a staff weapon at the rest of us. I wipe away tears as Freya is drugged. I'm scared. What is that drug supposed to do?_

_My legs are shaky as I get on them. The first Jaffa is grabbing Martouf now, and Martouf is fighting back. I grin slightly, watching the surprised look on the Jaffa's face. He jabs the needle into his arm, but ends up getting knocked on to his back. The second Jaffa aims the staff weapon on Martouf._

_The next thing I know, I'm on the second Jaffa. I don't remember deciding to attack. I don't even remember attacking, but I did, and Freya is helping. Gete grabs Martouf's arm and pulls him up. They go to the door, which doesn't seem to be locked._

_I'm guessing the Jaffa didn't have much confidence in symbiote-less Tok'ra._

_I try to get the staff weapon, but the Jaffa is a better fighter. Freya and I managed to follow the other two outside though. I lock the door before the Jaffa have time to recover. We are weaponless, but we are out. Martouf quickly starts leading the way, and I feel bad when I realize he's limping. I can't tell what's wrong, but it must have happened with that struggle._

_I wonder if he has any idea where he's going._

_It turns out he doesn't. None of us really have any idea where the others are, and we find ourselves needing to hide. We find a place, and Martouf sits. The permanent frown tells me he's in a lot of pain. After a few hours, we are discovered, thankfully, by Samantha Carter and Daniel Jackson. They have a box._

_Martouf looks up to Samantha. "We have to find our symbiotes. They've been removed."_

_Samantha moves closer, holding the box safely. "We know. They're here."_

_Malek? I move up quickly and open the box as she sets it down. "Malek? Malek?" Damn! "Which one of you is Malek?"_

_One of them squeals, and I carefully pick it up. "Malek?"_

_It squeals again, and I know enough of the language to know he said yes. "Malek!" I hug him, sort of. It's not easy to hug someone that much smaller than you. He's squealing at me. I'm not entirely sure what he's saying, but I'm getting a lot of same words. "Host." "Missed you." "Worried for you." "Love you."_

"_Reblend with me." I bring him up closer._

_He chirps a "No," and says something I can't understand. Whatever it was, I realize he's feeling weak._

_My heart is racing again. It feels like needles are pricking my lungs. "Malek?" I whine. Why is he weak?_

"_We were drugged," Samantha says. "They were too."_

_I pet Malek and put him back into the box. There is water in it, so he's better off there for now. Martouf puts down whom I presume is Lantash. I realize, by his expression he's probably trying to hide the fact that he's injured from Lantash. Martouf looks at the box. "We'll return to the base. They'll make you strong again." He closes the box before getting up. "We'll be back home soon, and everything will be back to normal."_

--Day 125--

--'Carter'--

Winter is not quite officially over, but the town decides to rush it by having an early Spring Festival. They want to get passed the winter that took so many and caused so much suffering. For the first time Samantha and I head to the festival alone. Martouf and 'Lantash' have been spending the nights over, for the most part, but they didn't last night.

Samantha and I, again, brought soup. I set it on the table and find Amb and Gete. "Hello."

Amb chuckles. "Hi."

Gete grins. "Hello."

Amb looks to me. "You're alone. Where's your Martouf?"

I think his state of mind isn't clear. "I don't know yet. Have you been drinking?"

"Yep."

"Doesn't 'Malek' counteract the effects?"

"Not if I drink enough."

Gete chuckles. "He's kind of amusing."

"I want to dance," Amb announces. He looks to Gete. "Want to dance?"

"No."

Amb pouts.

"Samantha," I hear Martouf say. Not sure where he came from. "How are you?" He looks to Amb. "Are you all right?"

"He's mad because I won't dance with him," Gete explains.

"He danced with Freya and Anise once, but he won't dance with me," Amb mutters.

Gete looks embarrassed.

Martouf nods briefly then pulls me aside. "Um...are they dating?"

I glance over to the two. "I don't know."

"And is Amb drunk?"

"A little. He drank more than 'Malek' can deal with."

Martouf grins. "Really? That's possible?"

Uh oh. "You are curious about it?"

"Yes." He walks away to set a pie down. "Want to dance?" He pulls me into a dance before I answer. The music is fast paced.

"I like dancing when its not snowing. I have decided I don't like snow."

"You liked it before?"

"It was pretty, and the season provided more jobs."

We dance for a while. The next time I see Amb and Gete, Amb is the soberer of the two and has gotten Gete to dance. After the song, Amb sits down while Gete finds someone else to dance with. I sit next to Amb. "Did you get him drunk so he'd dance with you?"

Amb grins. "You can't prove it."

"You better hope he's forgiving after this."

Amb nods and picks up some bread from a plate he must have made before. "Where's Martouf?"

"Drinking...something. I don't know." I give a playful glare. "Thanks by the way. You gave him the idea."

--'Lantash'--

I don't even bother trying to filter the alcohol. Martouf sits down. "Where 'Carter' go?"

_I think she decided to avoid you, and speak in your head. You sound like you are talking to yourself._

"I am talking to myself." He keeps grinning, more than usual, which I didn't think was possible. Martouf gets up suddenly. "Woah...what's that called?"

_Head rush_, I answer, feeling dizzy, being the one in his head.

"Head rush." He heads to wherever he plans on going, but bumps into Amb. Sorry Amb. "Hi Amb."

"Have you seen Gete?"

"You los' your Gete?"

"Yes, well, he's not my Gete, but he's Gete."

"Funny name."

Some might consider Martouf to be funny.

"Hey!" Martouf calls out. "I heard that!"

_Of course you heard it. I'm in your head._

Amb looks confused. "So you haven't seen Gete?"

'Malek' did a good job at sobering him. I take control. "We haven't seen Gete. He's probably dancing with someone." I had seen him dancing a lot.

_How did I get in here?_ Martouf asks.

"No, after he drank more he decided he hates dancing again."

I chuckle. "Sorry."

"Eh." Amb sits down.

I sit down too. Martouf is laughing at something. I have no idea what. Glad to be sitting. Walking was a little difficult with the alcohol.

Amb drinks some water. "Want to dance?"

"Uh, I might step on your toes."

"If you don't want to-"

"I didn't mean that." I glance down, chucking. Martouf is now singing in my head. He certainly can entertain himself. "I haven't done any filtering, so kind of have trouble walking. So dancing..."

"I don't care. I'll let you lead."

I grin. "All right." I get up and lead him to the dance.

Martouf quickly realizes we are dancing. _Samantha! _He's confused for a second._ That's not Samantha._

_No, it's Amb._

_Why are we dancing with Amb?_

_He wanted to dance._

_Oh._ He retreats and goes back to whatever he was doing before.

"You were talking," Amb says.

"What?"

"You get a certain look on your face whenever you talk to Martouf."

"He thought you were Samantha."

Amb grins and jokes, "I didn't realize we looked alike."

I make a few missteps in the dance, once nearly knocking Amb down. "Sorry."

'Carter' finds us after the dance. "Have we been replaced?"

_'Carter!' _Martouf thinks. _Give me control!_ He hugs 'Carter' as soon as he has control. "Never replace you."

"I was joking. It's getting late. Should we be going?"

"Yes. Go. Home." The words kind of fumble in his mind. "Go house." He completely forgets about Amb.

_Tell Amb I enjoyed dancing with him._

"What?" He turns around and finds Amb. "Oh, you. Hi."

"Hello."

Martouf touches his head. "He said he enjoyed dancing."

Amb grins. "I enjoyed dancing with him as well. Now I'm going to go find Gete." He leaves.

Martouf watches the others before realizing he's being directed away from the festival. "Did we say bye?"

"No, but they'll understand."

"Did you eat my pie?"

"Yes, it was a very good pie. Did you have my soup?"

"I didn't eat anything." He frowns as he looks up. "Sorry."

'Carter' looks very tired. I feel bad. I think we kept her up later than she planned.

"Woosh," Martouf says.

"Woosh?" 'Carter' questions.

"I heard a woosh."

I didn't hear a woosh. My host is now hearing things.

"I heard a woosh," he insists.

'Carter' frowns. "I didn't argue."

"'Lantash' did."

'Carter' shrugs, and it's quiet for the rest of the way to her house. Martouf lets himself drop into the bed when he gets there. Ow. He closes his eyes, and I feel his shoes being removed. I should probably be more helpful. I could...uh...oh, shoes are off anyway.

"Good bed," Martouf says. "More room. Don't have to wiggle in and out."

I rather agree with him.

Martouf opens his eyes as 'Carter' climbs in. "You have pretty eyes." He sits up slightly.

"Well, they are Samantha's eyes."

"She has pretty eyes too."

"They are the same eyes."

Martouf shakes his head. "No, yours glow."

'Carter' flashes her eyes. "Thank you."

Martouf lays back down. "Pretty glowy eyes." He closes his eyes. "Thank you for help."

'Carter' takes his hand. "I'll always take care of you."

to be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf   
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant  
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married. Dead.  
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.  
Thom-Doctor. Dead.


	12. Headaches

(Es Charmed, thank you. Here's the next chapter.)

Part 12, Headaches

--Samantha--

I'm proud to have breakfast ready before Martouf wakes up. He's done it with me, but this is the first time I have done it. I especially enjoy the confused look on his face. It is, unfortunately, too brief. "Good morning."

"Hi." He winces and touches his head. "Oh, I like your other house. I'd be in the dark now."

I set the plate next to him. It's basically bread. "See? My first house wasn't that bad."

Martouf breaks off some bread. "I'm going to blame Amb for this."

"I'm sure he's already going to be hearing about it from Gete."

Martouf chuckles.

I sit down and eat some bread. "Did you have anything planned today?"

"Was going to do something for someone." He frowns as he tries to remember what it was. "Oh, a wall. Ichard wanted me to repair some part of his wall. I need to get started on that." He gets up slowly, not eating much of the bread. "It's good bread. Not hungry, though 'Lantash' is telling me to eat. I told him I'd eat more as soon as he makes me feel better."

I wrap some bread for him. "This is for when you feel better."

"Thank you." He kisses me gently.

"I need to get going too." I walk with him to the door. "Hope the sun doesn't bother you too much."

He grins. "My headache is getting better." He opens the door, and we both stop.

There is a man there, wearing funny clothes and a very unusual helmet. "Identify yourselves!" He demands. He is pointing a stick at us. He seems...familiar.

_Didn't we dream about these guys?_ 'Carter' thinks. _Yes, we did. They were the bad guys._ She takes over, grabbing Martouf's hand and running. Martouf quickly follows. The sound of an explosion hits where we just were. With no where else to take cover, 'Carter' brings us to the river.

I'm a bit amazed at her and Martouf's ability to quickly go in without making a sound. She retreats to help my body deal with the cold water.

Freezing. Shivering.

_Go under, and let the river move us away._

I do just that.

_We didn't leave tracks to the river_, 'Carter' thinks, _but I'm sure he'll figure it out. Hopefully he'll first think we circled around the house. Thankfully the river isn't obvious from where he is._

By the time I can no longer hold my breath, the river has brought us to a large grassy area. The trees have kept it fairly safe from the snow, otherwise the grass would be gone.

I stay down as I go back on land. Very cold. Martouf comes up, staying very near. It's a tad warmer when he's there. We slowly make our way behind a tree, which we use to cover as we look for the armored man.

He's following the river downstream, checking for signs of us leaving. He pauses to check something across the river. This would be a good time to run. So I grab Martouf's hand and do just that. Don't want to ditch him.

He does the same thing. It's good we have the same ideas. We run through, heading a little farther into the trees, so hopefully we won't be seen if he looks. After several minutes we take cover again.

"Need to make some untraceable moves," Martouf says. We left some obvious tracks.

I follow his lead this time, finding it difficult to do just what we planned. 'Carter' makes suggestions along the way. I feel a little safer after a while, but have no idea where the armored man is. We take to hiding behind another tree. Martouf and I look for the next way to go. He points to one direction and starts heading. Then the armored man steps up to the side, nearly behind us. His weapon is pointed at Martouf, who doesn't see him. It fires.

No!

I shove Martouf forward.

I feel a sudden burn in my side as I'm pushed into the air. My whole body seems to hit the ground at once. All air seems to be gone. I can't breathe. I can't breathe and it hurts!

_Relax_, 'Carter' says as she starts repairing. _You can breathe. The fall just knocked some air out of your lungs. I thought I told you not to get hurt again._

I chuckle. _You told me not to get stabbed again. I didn't._

_You chuckled. Which means you can breathe._

I grin slightly and try looking for Martouf. Maybe he left. That would be the smart thing to do. I realize though, he wouldn't do that, and he didn't. He had taken to tackling the attacker.

I watch helplessly. He better not die. I'll never forgive him if he dies. He turns out to be a better fighter than I would have thought. He's managed to get a hand on the staff weapon, which he and the other man are now fighting over. The armored man brings it up to trip him, and Martouf ensures the armored man goes down with. They land with the staff between him, and I hear it fire.

Martouf?

Martouf pushes the Jaffa off and returns to me.

I look up to him. "You shouldn't have done that."

He carefully sets the weapon down over me, making sure it doesn't touch any injury.

I feel myself lifted up. "Where are we going?" I ask. My eyes close. I hear him answer, but don't understand.

_Stay conscious_, 'Carter' orders.

I don't think that's possible.

--Daniel--

"What are they?" Gete asks.

"I don't know," I answer. "Ichard just told me to run and hide."

"I hope Samantha and Martouf are safe," Freya says.

"I don't think any of us are safe," 'Malek' answers. He looks out at the new armored men. "I believe they are called Jaffa."

"Are we going to fight them?" Gete asks.

"With what?" Freya looks to him. "They seem powerful."

"The store has pitchforks...and knives." He frowns slightly. He doesn't seem to be feeling well.

"It won't be easy getting to the store without being noticed," 'Malek' says. "If we can get weapons, we might be able to take out one. He needs to be distracted though."

"With what?" I ask.

"They only shoot at the people resisting, so if one person were able distract him..." He looks over at us. "Anyone want to be bait?"

--Samantha--

_Do not do that again_, 'Carter' says.

I open my eyes, frowning a bit. _Do what?_

_Scare me._ 'Carter' hugs. _You nearly died._

I look around. I'm laying under a few blankets in bushes. I'm still cold, but not nearly as cold as I was before. I shiver slightly. "Martouf?"

After a moment Martouf emerges from the bushes. He smiles. "You're awake."

"Where were you?"

"Guarding." He's shivering as he lifts my blankets to check on the wound. "Tell 'Carter' to heal you faster."

_I'm trying_, 'Carter' says.

I chuckle. "She's trying." I shiver more with the blankets off. Can't really tell what he's doing, but something hurts. "Ow."

"Sorry." He puts the blankets back after a moment. "I'm doing all I can."

"I know."

"I got the blankets from a near house. I haven't seen any Neerians."

I nod. "Maybe you should go look for them."

"I left you once to get the blankets. I did that for you. I'm not leaving you again."

It hurts a lot. I close my eyes.

"Don't fall asleep again."

I open my eyes. "I'm not."

"I made you worse when I moved you. I'm sorry."

"We weren't hidden very well."

"We'll drive them away. The whole town will celebrate it. I'll fix all the damages to the house. We'll be fine."

"Have it all planned, huh?" I chuckle lightly.

"Don't I always?"

"Yes."

"And it always works out."

"So far it..." I stop briefly in pain. "...it has."

He kisses me softly. "I am going to guard. I'll check on you soon."

I nod.

"I'm right out there if you need anything."

I nod again, then watch him leave.

_We'll survive this_, 'Carter' thinks. _Martouf is right._

I am not so sure.

--Random Jaffa--

I walk around searching for the missing prisoners. We came in late last night, and managed to grab one of the residents without notice. Fools. The man smelled of liquor and made little sense for the first few hours. He started talking though. He described newcomers that sounded like the prisoners.

Olokum was right to trust us into finding them. Of course he was right. He's a god. He knew his enemies, the Tok'ra, would attempt in watching his moves, so he ordered a couple groups of his Jaffa to continue searching on our own. It's been a long search, going from planet to planet. Olokum was quite pleased with our news. We shall be rewarded. I shall soon be returning to my wife and children.

The Tok'ra scum may be hiding now, but they will not be able to hide when Olokum arrives.

I turn around as I hear someone approach me. I look over the man.

"Uh...h-hi." He says.

They have had orders to come out, but this is the first one to do so. "Identify yourself." He looks like one of the prisoners.

"I'm Daniel...uh...who are you?"

"You..." I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around to see a man and woman charging with...pitchforks? I raise my weapon towards them, but Daniel grabs it. I easily shake him off.

Suddenly something lands on me, and I'm on the ground. A pitchfork is in my shoulder. I realize someone was on the roof. They planned this. I start getting up, but more pitchforks pierce though. Someone is gripping my staff weapon. Not sure who.

"Good jump, Malek," I hear.

"Thank you," whoever Malek is replies.

I feel another pain in my neck. I won't be seeing my family again. I failed Olokum. Forgive me.

--Tok'ra Base--

--Selmak--

Jacob is in a bad mood. SG-8 arrived, and Teal'c is on it.

_You knew they would put him on another team._

_Yes, but I don't have to like it._

_When a new SG-1 is assembled, they'll put him back on it._

Jacob frowns. _That is even worse. SG-1 without Sam is..._ He sighs.

_I'm sorry Jacob, but you know they can't just not use that number._

_I know._

Jacob is quiet as he leads them to the rings. It brings us to the tunnels. Garshaw and Kela'an approach. Garshaw looks to Jacob. "Jacob."

Jacob looks to her. "Yes?"

"Kela'an found a Goa'uld transmission concerning Neeria. It is about to be attacked."

He frowns slightly. "The Neerians are no threat to the Goa'uld. Why would they waste time attacking them?" They hardly even had anything to do with us. The last time the Tok'ra were there was to ask about a new host for me, which was refused.

"We do not know, but they should be warned."

Jacob is more than willing to go on a mission. "I'll go."

"Kela'an, Pelan, and Korwe are to go with you." Garshaw quietly turns to SG-8. "If you have any interest in being part of the warning team, I suggest you ask Stargate Command now." She knows they'd have interest and would need permission. A Tok'ra shows them back the way they came while Kela'an and I wait for Pelan and Korwe.

Garshaw looks to Jacob again after the team has gone up. "Will you be able to handle this?"

"Yes. Do you know what Goa'uld is attacking?"

"No." She then turns to Kela'an.

"I can handle it." Kela'an answers before she asks.

She nods and leaves. Soon Pelan and Korwe arrive with extra supplies that they pass around, just in case we end up in a fight, or stranded, or something. We head up the rings and approach the chaapa'ai. SG-8 is waiting there.

"General O'Neill granted us permission to accompany you," says the SG-8 commander, who's name I don't know because he hadn't introduce himself.

Jacob dials.

"Are we sending anything through first to see what it is like?" asks one of the SG-8 members.

"Nope," Jacob says as he heads up the stairs. We go through. He starts speaking as soon as everyone is through. "We need to find their doctor or mayor. They have the highest rank in the town. We are splitting into two groups. Kela'an, Teal'c, and..." He picks SG-8 member with the rank of first lieutenant. "...you come with me."

The SG-8 commander doesn't look happy with splitting up. "I don't think-"

Jacob walks off, not listening to what he has to say.

_That was kind of rude_, I think.

Kela'an and Teal'c follow us without a problem. After a few seconds we hear the lieutenant hurry to catch up. "What's your name?"

"Me?" the lieutenant questions.

"Of course you. I know their names."

"First Lieutenant Phil Baker."

"Well, Phil, here is something you might want to know. When you go on a Tok'ra mission, we're in charge."

"I understand, sir." The statement is polite enough, but the tone is slight annoyance.

Jacob stops short, noticing clear signs. "Jaffa are here." He signals for them to take cover, doing so himself. He allows me to take control. I hide in good timing. We're fired at. I shoot back with my zatnikatel, hitting the Jaffa who fired.

More Jaffa come on both sides of us. Damn! I take off running. Really the only thing I can do. If I take cover elsewhere I might run into another of the group, which was efficiently blow their cover. I don't think the Jaffa follow me.

I head into grass that tangles Jacob's feet and force me to slow. I turn around to ensure that I'm not followed.

_No Jaffa_, Jacob thinks.

Good.

Suddenly I feel the presence of a symbiote behind me. I start turning around, with the grass still tangling his feet. I feel a sharp blow to his head as I'm sent forward. Damn grass.

_Get up and fight! _Jacob demands.

I start getting up, but then hear the unmistakable sound of a staff weapon charging only a few inches away from Jacob's head. _I don't think we're going to be able to fight out of this one._

To be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf  
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant  
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married. Dead.  
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.  
Thom-Doctor. Dead.


	13. Protective

(Es Charmed, thank you. I'm curious to what you had expected. I'm glad you are enjoying the story.)

Part 13, Protective

--Selmak--

Jacob feels dizzy, and so do I. That hit was right over me. Javob's vision is blurred, and I feel sick. I curl tighter and try to deal with both our pains. How can I deal with our attacker when I don't think I can even move right now. What does he want? He doesn't want to kill us. I don't know what he wants, but it's not our death. If he wanted that he would have shot instead of knocking us down first.

"Why have you attacked us?"

That question makes no sense...and as impossible as it seems, that sounds like... "Lantash?"

_That's impossible_, Jacob thinks. _Don't even think it._ He refuses to believe it.

"Why did you attack us?" the voice demands.

It really does sound like Lantash...well, Martouf's voice when Lantash is talking. "We didn't attack you." I need to look at this guy. Two challenges to that. Can I do that without getting shot, and can I do that without Jacob losing his last meal.

_Lantash wouldn't have a staff weapon pointed at my head_, Jacob thinks.

Jacob makes a very good point. So now what? Do I tell the mysterious-sounds-like-Lantash voice that I'm Tok'ra? That can get Jacob and I killed rather quickly. He seems about ready to shoot if I don't answer though. "Can I get up?"

"You had a weapon."

"I promise I'll leave it on the ground." I'm healing as I speak.

There is a long pause that makes me feel like someone is sending pieces of ice through my skin. He finally answers. "Very well."

I get up slowly, hands in the air, making sure he knows he has the control here. Once I'm up, I start turning around, hoping that doesn't get us shot. It's...

It is Martouf...or rather, Lantash...

...looking very pissed.

"Why did you attack us?" He repeats.

"We didn't attack you. We learned about the attack and came to warn Neerians."

"You're too late."

"We noticed." Martouf is alive? I can't believe it. Martouf is alive!

_Does that mean Sam is alive? _Jacob asks, a bit afraid to. What if the answer is no? _What if it's something else though? What if he was stolen? What if it's some Martouf from another dimension?_

_He seems to be angry about the attack_, I think. _If Martouf was stolen, I don't think the Goa'uld would be out here defending...what is he defending?_

There is something about him that just screams "I'm defending something!" He has several places to hide, but he's out in the open. His stance and posture looks as if he isn't going to let anything get around him. I'm pretty sure he'd shoot me if I moved any closer.

I need to tell him everything. "I'm Tok'ra. My name is Selmak. We heard about the attack, but we didn't know it already started."

He seems to respond to both "Tok'ra" and "Selmak." The weapon doesn't move away from me though. "How would I know you are telling the truth?"

Is it his memory?

Jacob ask for control, and I give it to him. He looks to Lantash. "Do you know if Sam is all right?"

Lantash frowns slightly. "Sam?"

_Try Samantha_, I suggest. _If their memory is messed up, she might not be going by that nickname. _He might not know that name at all.

"Samantha..." Jacob says, which Lantash clearly recognizes. "Please, tell me." Emotions are trying to overtake him now. He's hurting.

"That is not your concern."

He knows. Lantash knows, and he won't tell. That realization hits Jacob hard. He starts going into one of his pockets.

"What are you doing?" Lantash demands.

"It's not a weapon...please..." Jacob slowly takes out a picture of Sam and Mark. He offers it to Lantash, who rips it from his hand. _This better be Lantash._ "See? I have her picture. I'm her father. That's a picture of her and Mark, her brother."

Lantash looks at the picture carefully, not letting down his guard. Something about his mannerisms seem...un-Lantash.

_You said it was Lantash!_ Jacob screams.

"Who else is missing?"

Jacob frowns. "What?"

"If you are Tok'ra, and you are Samantha's father, then you would know who disappeared with her."

"Well, you and your host, Martouf. There is also Malek, Amb, Aldwin, Gete, Anise, Freya, and Daniel."

Malek.

_What?_ Jacob thinks.

_That's what it is. His mannerisms aren't just not Lantash, they're...he's acting like Malek._

_That...makes no sense._

Jacob's right. That doesn't make sense.

'Lantash' eyes us for a moment. "Back up." He grabs our abandoned weapon when Jacob does. "No sudden movements. Cooperate."

Jacob is saddened. _He's not going to tell me about Sam._

As he pushes us, I realize he seems to be taking us towards whatever he is guarding. Okay, now I'm a little afraid of what he was guarding. It could be dangerous. What if-

_Saaam! _Jacob mentally calls out when he sees his daughter. He wants to rush towards her. She looks pale and shivery and weak...but she's alive.

'Lantash' and Martouf were guarding her. That's kind of sweet.

Sam looks up to us, then looks to 'Lantash.' "Who is he?" She unknowingly just stung her father.

"He claims to be Tok'ra," 'Lantash' says rather harshly.

_Why is Sam weak? Is she injured?_

Sam is now frowning at us, but seems to be thinking. "He looks familiar."

Jacob is stung again. "Sam?"

"He had this." 'Lantash' gives Sam the picture he got from Jacob.

She glances between the picture and Jacob several times before the frown disappears. She looks unsure. "Dad?"

Jacob smiles. "Yes."

"You're injured." Her eyes find the blood coming from the back of his head. I've done rather well to fix that, but the blood is still there.

"Yeah." Jacob glances to 'Lantash.'

Sam looks to him. "You hit my dad?"

"At least I didn't shoot him." He settles down, and his expression becomes very Martouf. "Sorry."

Sam frowns again as she looks to Jacob. "Wait...I remember now, you became Selmak's host. That has been driving 'Carter' insane."

Is there something about that statement that was supposed to make sense? Does Sam now refer to herself in third person? And hey, she remembered me!

"Are you injured?" Jacob asks. _She looks very weak. Maybe that's why she's not making sense._ "You look cold."

"She was shot," Martouf answers, more trusting now that Sam has identified us.

Jacob quickly checks the injury.

_You are making your daughter shiver_, I think. Jacob internally winces when he sees the wound. It looks like Martouf has taken good care of it, but... _Jacob._

_No._

_Jacob, if we don't get her medical attention now she doesn't have a chance._

_She's strong. She'll make it. I'm not losing her again!_

_Yes, but she needs medical attention now in order for that to happen. She can't heal herself._

Jacob nods. "You need a healer."

Martouf seems to realize what he is thinking. "You can't move her."

Jacob looks to him and moves away from Sam. "She needs medical attention," he whispers.

"There are Jaffa out there, and they'll shoot us."

"We'll have to pass them."

"Can you guarantee that?" Martouf is frowning. "Can you guarantee that you'll get her through the great ring?"

Jacob is frustrated. "No."

"Then you can't move her."

"Mart-"

"The last time I moved her, her condition worsened. We can't move her again unless it's guaranteed that she can make it through."

Jacob is getting angry. Every second of arguing means Sam gets worse. "If we don't get her help now, she doesn't have a chance."

"She is healing."

"She can't heal on her own, not like you." Jacob tries to calm down. Martouf has no memory. He can't be blamed for not understanding. "You have 'Lantash' to help you heal. She doesn't have anyone."

"But she does."

"No." _What?!_

_Perhaps he's confusing what's left of Jolinar_, I suggest.

Jacob shakes his head. "She was blended, but that symbiote died."

I take time to concentrate on Sam, realizing the sense she gives off is stronger. Wait a minute.

"She is blended," Martouf insists.

"No."

_Uh Jacob?_

_What?!_

_I think he's right._

Jacob looks to Sam. He frowns slightly. "She's blended?"

Martouf nods. "We've been calling the symbiote 'Carter.'"

Sam's earlier reference to "Carter" makes more sense now.

Jacob is confused. "How?"

"The symbiotes were a bit mixed up," Martouf reveals.

"What?"

"...and without our memories, we didn't know who went where."

"She didn't used to be blended."

"We figured that out, but-" He stops, grabbing his weapon and hurries out at the sound and feel of people approaching.

Jacob follows in time to see Martouf aiming the staff at Teal'c. "Martouf, no." He pushes Martouf's arm down.

"He's a Jaffa."

"He's a good Jaffa." Jacob looks to those who had approached, Teal'c, Kela'an, and Phil. "He has amnesia."

"Martouf's alive?" Kela'an questions, even though Martouf is standing right in front of him.

"Why wouldn't I be alive?" Martouf frowns. He eyes Teal'c, still unsure what to think of him. He looks to Jacob. "Is that why you didn't come for us?"

"Are the others alive?" Kela'an asks. "Is Freya alive?"

Martouf hesitates before answering. "They're alive."

"We need to take cover," Teal'c says as he does so.

Seeing the approaching Jaffa as well, everyone else is already on the way. Martouf and Jacob both take cover in places where they can defend Sam.

--Samantha--

_Did they run out?_ 'Carter' asks. Concentrating on healing me, she's only participially paying attention to what is going on.

_They probably heard people coming. _I wish I could help out. Martouf is stuck here guarding me. _So, that was my dad._

_And Selmak_, 'Carter' cheerfully adds.

I soon hear firing, and it makes me cringe.

_Relax. You are harder to heal when cringing._

I de-cringe, but keep a watch out. What if an enemy came through? I'd be helpless. Some of the shots come close to me. I can't see them, but I can hear them.

The firing lasts a long time before Martouf returns. "Your father is guarding. Other friends came. They are checking the area for more Jaffa."

Daniel comes in. "Samantha?" He kneels down. "How are you feeling?"

"Hurting."

He gives me sympathy with his looks. "I met a man named Teal'c. He said that you, him, and I are all on the same team. I also met your dad."

I grin. "Yeah."

"He was surprised about 'Carter,' and I heard someone else say something like 'Colonel O'Neill isn't going to like that.' Oh, and you and I are part of something called Stargate Command." He glances to Martouf. "We are allies with the Tok'ra."

I touch my head slightly. "Who is O'Neill?" Why wouldn't he like 'Carter?'

"I don't know, but the name seems familiar. The name Jack comes to mind."

I'm curious. "How did Teal'c react?" I don't know why I want to know.

"He raised an eyebrow."

"That's not much of a reaction."

"He doesn't seem to react much. He did look pleased when he saw me and when Jacob said you were alive."

"Who's Jacob?"

Daniel grins. "Your dad."

I feel bad for that. Daniel and I keep talking until my dad returns. "We can move Sam now."

Martouf gently picks me up and goes outside. I'm suddenly very cold again. We start heading to the ring.

"Will the Goa'uld attack this place?" Daniel asks.

"Hopefully not," my dad answers. "Kela'an is falsifying a transmission to Olo...the Goa'uld who captured you. It'll say you escaped and they pursued. Give him a new planet, put the bodies there, and hopefully he'll believe his Jaffa were ambushed."

I hear 'Malek.' "Some of us should stay. These people have helped us. We need to make sure they are safe."

I do feel a bit bad about that. I wish I could help them.

Dad nods his head. "You and Freya may stay as long as Kela'an stays. Gete, you are returning with us."

Gete frowns, clearly not happy with this. "But-"

"There might be Jaffa still around that we don't know about. Who is going to heal if you if you get shot?" Dad asks in a serious and familiar tone.

Someone in green, so I assume he's from Stargate Command, tells Daniel he'll be leaving as well, which Daniel promptly argues about. When the man in green makes it and order, Daniel still argues. "I'm sorry, but I don't even know you. I know these people, and I owe them this."

The man finally agrees and orders someone named Lieutenant Baker to come with us. Dad looks annoyed by this for some reason. We get to the giant ring, and Dad starts pressing the buttons.

--Selmak--

The wormhole engages. Martouf takes one sudden back step. His expression reminds me of when I first met him.

"You won't drown," Sam says.

Martouf looks to her, looking a bit relieved. "That's good."

He, Phil Baker, and Gete follow us through. I quickly head to the rings. No Tok'ra come out, so they must have recognized me before signaling to do so. I wonder how many of them wish to come out and greet the previously fallen, especially since they had no idea they would be returning.

Gete jumps slightly when the rings come up. In the tunnels, we catch attention quickly on the way to the healing halls. A couple take off to get the people needed at the moment.

Martouf is directed to which room Healer Kilso is in. He is already prepared by the time we get there. Martouf sets Samantha down on the bed, and Jacob cringes when he realizes she has lost conscious.

_Just because she has, doesn't mean 'Carter' has_, I remind him.

Garshaw approaches us from behind, followed by a couple Tok'ra. She says nothing, not wanting to disturb our healer.

Kilso's eyes are closed as he concentrates with a healing device. Should have mentioned that she was blended, though I'm sure he's figured that out by now. He probably thinks someone died then.

_I hope that isn't distracting him from his work_. Jacob worries.

_It won't. He's a good healer._

Kilso opens his eyes. "I need blankets." He continues as his assistant runs off for this. "Was she shot before or after going into cold water?" He doesn't bother looking away from her, now giving her some type of drug.

"After," Martouf answers. He looks guilty. "I tried to keep her warm."

"How much was she moved afterwards?"

"I..." Martouf looks slightly panicked, probably frantically searching for the answer. "Several minutes. I had to move her. It wasn't safe where we were."

Kilso uses the healing devise again. Jacob cringes when he goes over her neck and head. It means the symbiote isn't doing very well. Afterwards Kilso says he'll be needing to change her out of wet clothes. Everyone but Kilso and Martouf leave. The assistant healer returns as we leave.

Phil looks to the direction of the room, though can't see into it from where we are standing. "Shouldn't Martouf be leaving too?"

"He can stay," Jacob answers. He knows Martouf wouldn't stay if he thought there was a chance she would mind.

He's about to protest, but Garshaw interrupts. "Welcome home." She's looking at Gete.

The expression on her face when Gete responds with "Who are you?" is quite amusing. It gets Jacob to make a grin. "They have amnesia." He looks back to Gete. "That's Garshaw."

Gete grins to her. "Hi, I'm Gete." He frowns slightly. "I guess you knew that."

Garshaw smiles. "Yes, I've known you for nearly eighty years now."

Gete's eyes widen. "I'm that old!"

Garshaw smiles to him for a second longer, but it fades as she turns to Jacob. "The others?"

"Everyone else, including the rest of the fallen, are still on Neeria. There is something else. It seems their symbiotes are mixed up."

Garshaw frowns. "Do you have any idea who is who?"

"Selmak and I could take a guess on a couple of them, based on their personalities."

Martouf comes out, wearing new clothes. He seems to notice that is what we are now looking at. "The man in there said I was too cold and that I needed to change."

Jacob allows me control to respond. "If you went into water in that weather, you certainly would be too cold." My voice is a bit disapproving.

Martouf's eyes flash. "It was 'Carter's' idea to go into the water, and we probably both would have been shot if she hadn't brought us in it."

"'Carter?'" Garshaw questions.

I look to her. "Sam is currently blended. The symbiote has been using her last name as her own."

My leader grins slightly. "It'd make a good name for a symbiote."

Jacob is given control. "Can we go back in?"

"You can. Gete and I have to be examined." Martouf frowns slightly and heads off down another healing room.

Jacob hurries back to his daughter, who is wrapped and covered in blankets. Her head is also wrapped. Jacob looks to her. "Sammy."

Garshaw is respectfully keeping her distance. Kilso is away from her, quietly waiting for Jacob to approach. It'd be rude to talk about Sam in front of Sam, even if she is unconscious.

Jacob approaches Kilso after a moment. "How is she?"

"She'll make a full recovery, but it's going to take a few days. Martouf said they were switched."

"That seems to be the case."

"This symbiote cannot return to its original host until it has fully recovered." He glances to Phil, clearing explaining the next part for his sake. "Leaving a host without killing it is dangerous for a symbiote. The symbiote must be at its full health to do so. It can also be dangerous for the host, so they both need to have made a full recovery."

Phil nods slightly. "I need report back to the SGC."

Jacob points down the hall. "Tok'ra will direct you back to the rings." He looks back to Kilso after Phil has left. "Do you know who she is blended with?"

"From its method of healing, I am rather certain of its identity."

When he doesn't answer right away, both Garshaw and Jacob give him "Mind telling us?" looks.

Kilso smiles slightly. "I believe it is Lantash."

Garshaw frowns slightly. "That's going to be awkward when they get their memories back."

Yeah, no kidding.

Kilso glances between us. "I suggest keeping it between us for now. They might not want it announced before they themselves know.

Garshaw watches Sam for a moment. She shakes her head afterwards, keeping whatever thoughts she has about Sam between her and Yosef. "I have a feeling O'Neill will be here soon."

I wonder if she plans to avoid him again. She seems to be considering the idea.

"There is also the rest of the previously fallen. I am certain they'll want some answers when they return." She nods to herself, probably in response to whatever Yosef said. "I have some answers to get before we get more questions." She leaves.

Jacob watches his daughter some more.

"It might be a while before she's awake," Kilso says. "I will be helping them regain their memory, but perhaps you might want to get the pictures you have. She might enjoy looking at them."

Jacob nods.

"I've also tried to find indications of how she was treated while imprisoned-"

Jacob quickly turns to Kilso.

"-but with the time that passed, I cannot be certain."

Jacob looks back to Sam. "She's alive. Right now that's all that matters." He watches for a moment longer before turning back to the healer. "I'll get the pictures." Jacob heads to our room after a few more minutes. He gathers, not just the pictures, but Martouf's items that were put under our care after the funeral. It could be fun to explain to them what they are. When we return, we're a bit surprised to see Martouf is already there. He's now wearing more layers than he was before, one which includes a hood over his head.

A Tok'ra comes into the room. "Colonel Jack O'Neill has come to the planet. I believe he'll be wanting to see Lieutenant Colonel Carter."

Martouf notices the pictures Jacob has. He starts looking at them after getting permission. He stops at one picture and looks at it for a while. "Is this me?"

He isn't sure what he looks like?

_How would he?_ Jacob thinks. _That part of Neeria wouldn't have mirrors._ He looks at the picture. "Yes, that's you."

"That's what I look like?" He grins. "I probably look smudgier at the moment."

This reminds me of the first time Martouf saw himself in a mirror. It was amusing. He had, on occasion, seen glimpses of himself in still water, and he knew what he looked like because Lantash saw him before they blended, but it was the first time he really got to see himself. He continues looking through the pictures, asking me who everyone is. "Hey, this is that woman who was in the room with us."

"Garshaw and Yosef."

"Right, women. Can you take a picture of Samantha's house on Neeria?"

"I could." Jacob is a bit surprised. "She has her own house?"

Martouf looks very proud. "I built it for her."

"You built her a house?"

I wonder if he realizes that with his own people houses were often built by grooms for their future wives.

"Yeah. I suppose someone will be living in it now." He looks a bit sad.

Jacob looks to Sam. "You were ready to settle in for your new life."

"Of course. We had no way of looking for you, and we had no way of knowing when or if the Tok'ra would find us."

Jack comes into the room and seemed to hear the last part. "The Tok'ra weren't the only ones looking."

Martouf looks up to him. "Well, apparently no one was looking. You all gave us up for dead."

Jack looks a bit stung by that response. "The SGC didn't give anyone up for dead."

"Were you looking for us?"

"We were on the look out."

"How helpful," Martouf replies with a sarcastic tone.

_Stop them_, I think.

Jacob gestures to Sam. "Jack, our healer says she'll make a full recovery."

Jack moves closer to Sam, and Martouf protectively follows. Can't really blame him. After all, he has no idea who Jack is.

"So she has a snake in her head..." Jack tries not to look annoyed by this. "...and will for a few more days."

Martouf picks up on the annoyance and looks a bit aggravated. "The symbiote saved her life."

Jack glances to him. "Who is it?"

Jacob hesitates with an answer. _I'm pretty sure Jack was one of the people Kilso didn't want to be told._

_I'm sure it was._

Martouf speaks before Jacob can answer anyway. "Don't say it if you know!" He sounds almost frantic.

Jack looks to him. "Why not?"

"It's not our business. It's their business."

Jacob interrupts whatever Jack was about to say. "We can't be sure until they get their full memories back anyway." He glances to his daughter. "Until then, refer to her as Sam, and to the symbiote as Carter."

Jack moves away to talk to Jacob. Martouf follows. Jack glances to him, trying to hide his annoyance. Humans really aren't all that good at hiding their emotions, even if some like to think they are. "She's going to be getting her memories back with it still in her head?"

"Most likely."

"Don't you think she might not take that well when she remembers her last 'blending?'" The word "blending" holds a slight sarcastic tone.

"She probably would prefer it this way. If she doesn't, we'll figure something out."

"That's because she doesn't remember."

"It's not up to you. It's up to her." Jacob's words are final.

"She remembers anyway," Martouf says suddenly.

We both turn to him. "What?"

"At one time or another we would have a flash of memory. She had nightmares about being taken over, controlled...and 'Carter' had nightmares about being removed and put in a tank." He frowns slightly. "Especially when we were trapped in her first house. We had been snowed in." His eyes flash. "We were not sure what caused them, but we hoped the new house would help."

I wiggle slightly. The idea of being forcefully removed from Jacob makes me feel icy and sick.

'Lantash' turns to Jack. "Why are you so protective of her?"

"She's part of the SGC, which I happen to be in charge of. We also worked on the same team for years...along with Daniel and Teal'c." He gives 'Lantash' a curious look. "And you? Why did you go with her rather than stay on Neeria with the others?"

"After she had been shot, we promised her we would take care of her." He turns away and goes back to Sam.

Garshaw rejoins us. After making a quick greeting to Jack, she addressees all of us. "Olokum is heading to the new planet. However, we do not yet know what he'll do once he finds his Jaffa have been killed." She pauses for a moment. "For that, we must wait."

to be continued...


	14. Burned and Frozen

(Es Charmed, thanks. Glad to hear from you.)

Part 14, Burned and Frozen

--'Carter'--

I don't know how long we were asleep, but Samantha is glad to wake up when she does. The first thing she notices is Martouf, which makes us happy. "Martouf."

"Do you feel better?"

We both notice our clothes have been changed. Though we know it was probably because we were freezing, it is a bit bothering. Samantha frowns slightly as she sits up. We notice others are in the room, and its then that we realize we were hoping for just Martouf. The others are men, one her father, and two we don't know. Uncomfortable, Samantha retreats.

I notice the reactions when I take control. One man looks a little annoyed. The second, whom I believe we saw on the planet, doesn't make much of a reaction. Jacob moves closer, looking a little disappointed. It makes sense that he would want to talk to his daughter. He glances to the second man. "Did Daniel tell you about Teal'c?"

"He did," I answer. So that is Teal'c.

"Well, that is Teal'c." He points to the second man again, then points to the first. "And this is General Jack O'Neill. He's Sam's commanding officer."

"Hello Teal'c and General."

Jacob continues. "When Jack came he brought some extra clothes for you. They are in your temporary quarters. They are fairly close to Martouf's."

"I can show you where it is," Martouf says. "It's a pretty room."

"Can I go there now?" I ask.

"Kilso will want to examine you first. He's on his way here."

When Kilso arrives, everyone but Martouf leaves. He gives us permission to leave after he is done.

"Is he the one who changed my clothes?" I ask as we leave the room.

"Yes. I was there as well. I helped." He sounds a bit proud as he says the last part.

I take his hand, glad he was there. Samantha and I don't know Kilso enough to fully trust him. "So, my room is pretty?"

"Yes, well, it's like all the walls here, but it's a little bluer." Martouf smiles. "It's shiny and blue, like Samantha's eyes when you glow them."

I glow them before turning to the men waiting outside the hall. They probably heard the last thing Martouf said. We head to Samantha's quarters. Teal'c leaves when we get there. It seems he realizes she needs privacy.

I look to the clothes Jack brought. They are similar to the clothes we first woke up in four months ago, but minus a jacket. We_ would look funny in pants._

_It must be normal. We woke up in them. _She takes control to look over the clothes. _I can't wear this._

_I agree._

"What's wrong?" Jacob asks.

Samantha looks to him. "I don't know if I would be comfortable in these clothes. These are pants and..." She holds up the shirt. "My arms would show."

Jacob frowns slightly, then grins. I have a feeling Selmak just explained normal Neerian clothes to him. "The Tok'ra have extra clothes. You can borrow anything you want."

Next, we all head to the room they keep their clothes in. Samantha's eyes widen as she looks around. "Wow." It's full of different types of clothes and accessories.

"Many hosts have different tastes in clothing," Jacob says. "We also like to keep a good supply for when we're going on mission."

Samantha looks around a bit before picking out a dress that looks similar to Neerian style. She grins to Martouf. "How does this look?"

"It looks similar to the dress you wore on the first festival."

"Amazing, isn't it? A fancy dress for everyday wear."

"That's a fancy dress?" Jack questions. "It looks kind of plain." He notices Martouf and Jacob frowning at him. "Well, to me."

It is one of the more simple dresses of the selection, but Samantha loves it. Dirt and weather haven't faded the colors. The fabric isn't worn down, and it's soft. She shoos everyone but Martouf away to select undergarments. Afterwards we find a hiding place behind the clothes to change. We find Martouf and Jack waiting for us when we come out of the room. Jacob is talking to another Tok'ra. Samantha smiles to the two remaining men. "How do we look?"

Martouf guides us in front of a glass that reflects us. "You can see yourself."

Samantha grins. "I heard Starna talking about one of these once."

Martouf adds a necklace to us while we are looking at the mirror.

In the mirror we see Jacob approach. "Kilso figured out a way that might get your memories back. He believes it would be too overwhelming for host and symbiote to get all their memories on the same times, so he thinks it would be best to start with the hosts. He wants a volunteer."

"Do the others know?"

"Yes. They haven't volunteered."

_We can do it_, Samantha thinks. _I would like to remember them._ With "them" she thinks of her father and the people she is told she works with.

_It's up to you. It's your memories._ I hug her gently.

"I'll volunteer," she says.

Martouf looks to her. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

_All the work to pick out clothes other than your uniform, and soon you might prefer that anyway_, I think.

Samantha chuckles.

Jacob looks uncertain. "You might not be getting just your memories. Martouf said you know you had once been..." He looks very uncomfortable for a second. "...unwillingly taken as a host."

Samantha frowns slightly. "Yeah, 'Carter' and I figured it out."

"After she was killed you gained some of her memories."

"I'll try to ignore hers." Samantha is uncomfortable. She doesn't like the idea that she was taken. It scares her. To be honest, it scares me too.

Martouf takes our hand. "I'll help you."

Jacob glances from Martouf to Samantha. "I think you and 'Carter' should be warned. He-" Jacob suddenly stops.

He? Who's he? Me? With permission I take over. "Am I he?"

"Y-yes."

"I already knew I was male."

Jack is frowning, and he looks Jacob. "You know he's male...wait...you know who he is?"

Jacob looks annoyed. "Yes, I know."

"I asked you-"

"I said we couldn't be certain," Jacob interrupts as he looks to Jack. "That was the truth. I may have a good idea who 'Carter' is, but we won't know for sure until he gets his memory back." He looks back to me. "If you want to know who-"

"I don't," I say quickly.

Jacob nods. "About this symbiote..."

"I will help Samantha with the memories the symbiote left with her along with her own memories of the violation."

Jack looks a bit surprised while Jacob looks uncomfortable again. "The symbiote was a Tok'ra."

I frown as Martouf responds. "I thought Tok'ra only took willing host."

"This one kind of broke that law," Jack responds in matter-of-factly, what-else-is-new manner.

"Is this common?" Martouf asks.

"No," Jacob says, though Jack silently scoffs to the answer. It doesn't go unnoticed, and Jacob gives Jack a warning look. He looks back to me. "We aren't entirely sure why this Tok'ra did it. Samantha doesn't have the memories of what she was thinking at the moment, and we never asked her to remember. She panicked or made a mistake or was desperate..." He pauses for a second. "'Carter,' whoever you may be, at the very least, you were good friends with her. This is someone you knew for over a thousand years...and now you are going to see...and feel, exactly what it was to be taken over by her. You are going to feel everything she did that hurt, and then you are going to feel her die."

Now I feel very unsure about all this.

Samantha mentally reaches out to me. _I'll help you._

"Uh..." Not sure what to say. It's not like I have a choice. "What is the highest relationship?"

"What?"

"You said at the very least I was good friends with her. That would imply at least one of us amnesiac symbiotes was something more."

"At most...her mate."

Now I feel sick. "Excuse me." I walk away, giving Samantha control after a few steps. She finds an isolated place and comforts me.

_I should be the one comforting you_, I think.

_We always help each other._

I feel bad. A_fter you get your memories back, if you don't want me in your head-_

_Of course I'll want you in my head. You may belong to someone else, but for the next couple days, I'm still your host._

_Samantha..._

_Whatever she did, it doesn't negate the last four months. Whatever she did, I clearly still trusted the Tok'ra afterwards. I must have figured out a way to deal with it._

Martouf slowly approaches. "Jacob was standing there looking annoyed and uncomfortable, while Jack was... I don't think he likes Tok'ra."

Samantha chuckles.

"I also wanted to see how you and 'Carter' were doing."

"We'll be fine."

"Jacob told me a little more information about the Tok'ra. I wondered...well..."

"What?"

"Well, there is Amb, Gete, Freya, and myself...and... Well, Freya is female, and while Amb and Gete are male, they seem to prefer males."

Oh no.

He continues, "So out of the four of us, I'm the only one who likes females, and this Tok'ra you were all talking about was female, and-"

"Martouf," Samantha interrupts. "Was she your mate?"

He pauses. "Apparently." He lifts his eyebrows, expressing confusion. "When I asked Jacob if she was my mate, he apologized for not telling me sooner. I guess I'll remember being a widower soon. How soon depends on whether or not you still want to be first to get your memories back... Not really looking forward to it."

_Do you still want to be first?_ I ask.

_Yeah, but..._

_We should do this then._

She's worried, and sadly, she's mostly worried about me. _Are you sure?_

_Yes. I want to get this over with. Besides, the sooner I see your memories, the more time I have to deal with them before I learn how close I was to her._

"We do. I should probably tell my father."

Martouf gives Samantha a small kiss. He leaves afterwards, and I hope he didn't notice that Samantha didn't really respond. _Samantha, he doesn't remember her yet, and even when he does, she's dead. We haven't done anything wrong._

_Remember that dream I had? I remembered loving him, but knew it might hurt him if he knew. What if this hurts him?_

_Saman-_

_I was right in the first place. _She paces, shaking her head. _We all had amnesia. The symbiotes are mixed up. Why were we stupid enough to start any relationship? We shouldn't have. At the very least I should have listened to the dream. As soon as I knew it could hurt him, I should have ended it._

_We didn't know the Tok'ra would find us._

_It didn't matter if they found us or not. Our memories were returning. It would have taken longer, but he would have remembered on his own. I knew I could hurt him, and I did nothing._

_We! We knew what could happen. We knew it could hurt him. We said nothing. We did nothing. I was part of this, just as much as you were._

_Yes, but I was-_

_It doesn't matter Samantha. I was part of it too. If it weren't for the capture, and the mix up, I wouldn't even be part of this whole relationship, but I am. I've been your symbiote for the past four months, and I will be for the next couple days. You said it yourself._

Samantha smiles. _You're right._

_We'll deal with this together._

--'Lantash'--

_She didn't respond to me_, Martouf thinks. _I wonder if she's angry._

_She wouldn't blame you for the actions of your mate._

Martouf finds Jacob and tells him that Samantha still volunteers. _I shouldn't have asked. I should have left it alone._

_You had the right to know._

Martouf finds a computer and starts staring at it. He's considering looking up his mate, but he's too afraid to.

_What are you afraid of?_ I ask.

_I don't know._

_You don't have to look her up._

_I know._ He scans through the computer and looks himself up. He grins when he's done. _For the most part, I've had a good life._

_Let's look up all the symbiotes and try to figure out which one is me_, I think.

_You could just ask the Tok'ra._

_This is more fun._

Martouf starts doing this. _I'll start with Lantash. _He looks over the screen and grins. _He has fairly high rank. Yea me. He studies a lot of things, but concentrates on security and diplomacy._

_That's an odd little combo._

_He's one of their best fighters. _Martouf grins before looking up Anise. _Anise studies ancient civilizations. She's in charge of that department. She designs and builds new technology based on what she has studied._

_Technology is fun._

He taps a bit more. _Aldwin is a Tok'ra/Goa'uld historian, and he's also security._ He then adds cheerfully. _I outrank him and Anise._

_Hey, that might be me you're bragging over._

_Sorry. _He looks up Malek. _Malek is a outpost commander and also studies technology. _He chuckles. _His fighting levels are low._

_So what? He's an outpost commander._

_Which is..._

_I'm not entirely sure, but it sounds important. Too bad he can't fight though._

_I bet you're Malek._

I laugh. _Why?_

_Because you wiggled in my head when his name came up._

_I did not._

_Yes, you did. He also sounds like you._

I take over to read about Malek. There is a lot to read about him. It shouldn't be surprising since he's over a thousand years. Wow, he's old.

_Actually, he and Anise are the youngest out of the four I read about_, Martouf thinks.

I backtrack. Aw, he is. He was in one of the few batches of symbiotes that weren't old enough to blend when Egeria was taken. That's depressing. I bet he looked forward to meeting her. I scan over the information. _Hey, look, he was born in the same batch as Anise._

Someone comes in. "'Lantash,' it's time for Samantha to get her memory back. I thought you might want to be there." It's Jacob.

I turn to him. "All right."

"What are you reading?" He sees the screen. "About Malek."

"Yes." I blush slightly as I turn the computer off. "Uh...Martouf thinks I am him."

"What do you think?"

"I don't know." I have nothing against Malek, especially if I am him, but I was kind of hoping to be Lantash. Martouf and Samantha have something, and Lantash will be part of that. If I'm not Lantash, I won't be part of it. "What do you think?" I look to Jacob.

_I don't think you should have it confirmed_, Martouf thinks. He leaves it up to me though.

Jacob looks unsure.

"I know you probably have some idea of who I am."

"You really want to know what I think?"

"Yes." Now I'm worried.

"I think Martouf is right."

Hm. So I'm Malek.

_Hi Malek_, Martouf thinks.

I grin slightly. That felt good to hear. "It'd probably be best if we didn't tell the others. They don't seem to want to know who they are yet, and-Amb!"

Jacob looks amused. "What about him?"

"I barely paid any attention to him while on Neeria. What will he think of me?"

Jacob starts walking, still grinning. "I'm sure he won't judge you."

"What if all the other symbiotes spend a lot of time with their hosts. What if-"

"Did he pay attention to you?"

"No, he was paying attention to Gete." Great, I'll be leaving one relationship and intruding on another.

The conversation ends after that. We don't want anyone overhearing anything.

_At least you aren't Aldwin_, Martouf thinks. _You'd feel really bad if you ignored your host and he was the only one not blended._

We enter the room. Samantha is already there, sitting on a bed. Amb is there, talking to Gete. He doesn't even acknowledge that I came in. I wonder who's in his head. What if they get along better than he and I do. What if-

_This is why knowing who you were is a bad thing_, Martouf thinks. _Amb doesn't remember you...well, not as a symbiote. You didn't even know until a few minutes ago._

Martouf is right, and this moment is about Samantha. I hope she's not hurt by this.

_At least you don't have to worry about it being your mate who hurt her_, Martouf thinks.

I hug him.

Kilso comes and approaches Samantha. He explains things to her, but I don't hear a lot of it. I know she has to be in control for part of it. I move closer and take her hand. I feel her squeeze mine as she closes her eyes. She relaxes, no longer holding my hand, but letting me hold hers. Kilso runs a couple devices over her. Samantha's also wearing something on her temple. Her eyes are closed. Her expressions change as she remembers, sometimes happy, sometimes sad, and sometimes frowning.

She opens her eyes when Kilso is done. She looks tired and overwhelmed. "Samantha?"

Her hand pulls away from mine.

Kilso looks to her. "How do you feel?"

"Tired, but I remember who I am. A lot of the details are fuzzy."

"They should come back within the hour. The memory device will help. I'll keep it set on low. It's only aiding what should happen on its own."

She nods and gets off the bed. "Can I go to my room?"

"Yes, I'll be monitoring your vital signs from here, and I'll check on you in an hour."

She starts walking away. I give Martouf control and he follows a few steps. "Samantha?"

Samantha stops and looks to him, but not in the eyes. He goes to take her hand again, but she pulls away. She walks away, having never truly looked at us. The air feels thick, and Martouf feels as though someone burned his heart. I try to help him, but I, in contrast to his heart, feel frozen.

He looks to the floor. _She hates me._

_It must not be hate. She was willing to work with us before._

_That was before...before we..._

She looked like she regretted everything. What if she does?

_What if we hurt her? I don't want to have hurt her._ _What if it was all a mistake?_

To be continued...


	15. Memories

(spookysister7, thanks. Glad you enjoy the Sam/Martouf interaction.

Unicorn682006, thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.)

Part 15, Memories

--Selmak--

Martouf looks very hurt, and I feel horrible. Jacob approaches his daughter, along with Jack, who unfortunately for Martouf, saw it all.

"I wish to be alone," Sam says quietly. She's also hurting.

"I'm here if you need," Jacob assures. He lets her go. Jack says nothing. He already backed off when he saw Jacob approaching. I guess he felt it was more of a father/daughter moment.

Kilso just moves on to Daniel. Since he's not blended, his memory will be easier to get back. Daniel looks a bit concerned as he sits on the bed, looking to the direction Sam left.

"Close your eyes and relax," Kilso orders.

As Daniel does this, both Jack and Anise move closer to him.

Jacob looks to Martouf, who is now intently staring at the floor, except Malek is the one in control now. They leave, probably after estimating how much time they needed not to run into Sam. Jacob turns back to Daniel when we hear Kilso ask him how he feels. Daniel touches his temples. "The inside of my head itches."

"That will disappear in a few seconds."

Daniel nods, then looks to Jack. "Hi Jack."

Jack smiles. "It's good to have you back."

"This is..." He shakes his head. "Wow. It's strange." He looks to Teal'c. "Teal'c, hi. I remember you now." He grins, then looks to Kilso. "It's like Sam said, the details are fuzzy, but when I concentrate on something, they start returning." He looks out the hallway, now looking more concerned. "Is Sam going to be all right? Shouldn't someone talk to her?"

"She wanted to be alone," Jacob answers as he steps closer. "How close was she with Martouf?"

Daniel suddenly looks a bit uncomfortable, probably because her dad is the one doing the asking. "I don't know exactly how long they were involved, but it was pretty serious. He built her a house, and I got the impression Martouf hoped to be moving in soon."

"He might as well have," 'Anise' adds.

Everyone looks to her, and I feel bad because I think we all forgot about her.

She blushes slightly, seeming to realize that, but continues. "They were dedicated to each other. They shared everything. He spent most of his nights with..." She pauses and looks to Jacob. "..at the house."

Jacob quickly eradicates what she was going to say from his mind.

"He even started working on the soil in case she wanted to farm," she continues.

"Sounds a little controlling," Jack remarks.

Well, that's Malek for you. When his mind is set to a goal, he can get a bit dominating until he reaches that goal.

"I'm sure he would have backed off if she wanted him to," Jacob responds, which is true.

'Anise' is frowning. "I thought the relationship would last."

"Well, it ended instead," Jack says.

I understand why Jack feels the way he does, but I wish he were a little more sensitive when it came to the Tok'ra. I wonder if he even realizes that there is a reason most Tok'ra only deal with the Tau'ri once.

_He's comfortable saying what he feels_, Jacob thinks.

Yeah. He's lucky the Tok'ra don't return the favor.

Jacob looks to Daniel. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"No...not that I know." Daniel blushes. "I kind of got involved with...someone else, so I wasn't really paying that much attention."

Jacob nods and walks away. So does Anise.

"I guess you'll be needing to go back and talk to her," Jack says.

"Not really."

Jack probably doesn't realize they can still be heard. Anise seems to be purposely staying just within earshot. Jacob is busy, not paying attention, but I am. "Isn't that a bit rude?" Jack asks.

"It wasn't a local."

"What then...? _Freya?_"

"Yes."

"That's...isn't that a little...odd? I mean...with Freya liking... Then the symbiote..."

There is something I'm not getting. Freya liked someone?

"It wasn't until you just pointed that out...thanks."

Daniel and Freya were together? That's not going to be good. Jacob heads out. Aw.

--Daniel--

Jack leaves soon after Jacob does, leaving me alone with Freya and...whoever the symbiote is. Okay, so I fell in love with two people. One who liked Jack before this, and another who might normally be male. "Were you listening?" I ask when Jack leaves.

"Yes."

Though...Anise liked me before, and whoever it is liked me after the memory lost. Maybe it is Anise. "Some people would consider that to be rude."

"Some would consider the conversation to be rude."

I grin. "True."

She gives Freya control. "Is this the end?"

"I don't know." For all I know she can get her memory back and decide she likes Jack again.

She smiles. "No girlfriends or wives?"

"No... Not currently."

She kisses me.

I smile then kiss her this time. "You should probably rest before you get your memory back."

"Oh, probably." He frowns slightly. "Before this I was reading about the Tok'ra. It's interesting to read about your own people before before you remember being one of them. Some of the traditions are strange. I also read about the funeral they had for us when they thought we were dead." She grins. "It was interesting."

That's just a tad bit morbid. "You read about your own funeral. Wait...they had a funeral for the Tok'ra?" I hadn't realize how much they gave up on us.

"Yes, and for Samantha."

I frown. "So...the Tok'ra had a funeral for everyone but me."

She frowns. "I guess they did."

"That's a little insulting."

"You aren't a Tok'ra, and I know Samantha isn't, but I guess she used to be. I didn't really fully understand that part."

I decide not to explain it to her. She'll remember when she gets her memories back.

"Kela'an has been helping me find all the information we need. He and Drack have been very helpful."

"That's nice of them."

She nods. "I'll go read some more about the Tok'ra."

"You do that." I watch as she leaves, then go to find Jack. At least that was the plan, but I find myself at Sam's quarters. "Hi."

She looks up. "Hi Daniel."

"Am I disturbing?"

"You can come in."

I come in and sit down. "Have you figured out which symbiote is which?"

She smiles. "No. I haven't thought about that."

"How's 'Carter?'"

"Doing something she knows she shouldn't be doing." Her eyes look up as she glares, as if glaring as her own symbiote.

--'Carter'--

I pull back from what I was doing. _What? _I hear Daniel ask what I'm doing.

Samantha looks to Daniel. "She keeps looking at Jolinar's memories."

"I don't think Jolinar would like that."

_I'm trying to figure her out_, I say.

_You keep getting depressed as you look through, and they aren't your memories.._

_Nor are they yours, but you get them. You don't even want them. Shouldn't someone try to figure why she did it? Maybe it'll help you._

_I don't want you to regret it._

_I don't want to regret not helping you while I had the chance. She broke you, and I want to fix it._

_She broke me?_

_Left you hurt, confused, and altered._

_Actually, most of the "alterings" have been a good thing, except for the memories._

_I just want to help._

_I know._

_And I love you._

_I love you too._

_And you are neglecting Daniel._

"Oh!" She looks to Daniel. "Sorry, we started talking and-"

"Don't worry. I've had Freya and 'Anise' do that with me."

Samantha smiles. "'Carter' is trying to help me. She thinks if I know exactly what Jolinar was thinking at the time, it would help."

"Would it?"

"I don't know." Samantha glances down. "I already forgave her a long time ago." She notices Kilso coming in. "Has it been an hour?"

"Yes." He starts scanning her.

I wiggle. _His scans make me itchy._

Samantha chuckles and reports this to Kilso.

He smiles lightly. "Sorry, but she'll have to itchy for a few more seconds." He asks a few questions before deciding it's all going well. "I'll be getting the others to return their memory."

Daniel watches him as he leaves, then looks back to us. "We should be there."

Samantha nods. "Yeah." She gets up and they start heading back to the healing room. They find they are the last to arrive.

Gete grins as he hops one of the beds as he looks to Kilso. "I'm ready."

Aw, he's ready now. He wasn't ready before.

Kilso approaches him. "Are you certain?"

"Yep."

"You may want to-"

"I've gone four months without Aldwin. The next couple days won't be any different."

"Yes, but this time you'll be remembering him."

"Hmph." Gete closes his eyes to assure he is ready.

Kilso glances to the others before he starts working on Gete. In a few seconds Gete looks sadder than he was. He forces a smile. "I told you I'd be fine." He hops of the bed. "Who's next?"

Amb sits down while Freya approaches us. "Uh..." She grins slightly. "I wanted to tell you that you were a great roommate."

Samantha is a bit surprised. Kind of an odd conversation to start. "You were too."

"I've been hearing that we don't get along, so I thought I should tell you before I get my memories back."

Samantha smiles. "I don't think it's that we don't get along, it just...well, I don't think we ever really agree on anything."

"Wouldn't that mean we don't get along?"

"In a way. We just kind of knew each other, occasionally worked together. That was about it."

I notice Martouf approaching one of the bed's now. _It's Martouf's turn._

Samantha looks to Martouf. _He's going to remember everything._

_I wonder if he'll figure out who is who. Maybe he'll figure out who in his head. _I'm curious. After all, whoever it is, we did fall in love with him.

_I don't know, but Amb has taken an sudden interest in him._

I focus on Amb and realize the human does seem to be paying more attention to Martouf. Hm.

_That's not good. _Samantha thinks. It seemed she hoped I was Malek.

_You wanted me to be Malek?_

_No, it's just, you can't be Anise, you don't seem to be Aldwin, and I... _She doesn't want me to be Lantash. She doesn't think it out loud, but I realize that is it.

_Let's see how Martouf reacts_, I think. Martouf's reaction is leaving the room as soon his Kilso allows, much like Samantha did. He didn't even look at us. _Well, if I am Lantash, that was very rude of him._

_It's not you, it's me. I hurt him, and I'll have hurt you too._

_We aren't even sure who I am._

Daniel approaches us. "Sam, are you all right?"

_Am I supposed to be calling you Sam?_

_You can call me Samantha._ She looks to Daniel. "Yeah."

_No, you're not._

Daniel doesn't look convinced either. "He probably needs time to adjust to the memories."

"Right, like everyone else." Samantha indicates to everyone else, who is still in the room.

"Sorry."

Freya approaches. "Daniel, can we talk?

Oh yeah, Freya. Forgot about her. Does she have her memories back?

_I would assume so._ Samantha frowns herself a little nervous now that she does. What if Freya's perspective of the relationship was completely differently.

_It'd be embarrassing if she considered you a friend, and you just made it obvious that you didn't feel the same way._

_Thanks_, she thinks sarcastically.

--Daniel--

Sam leaves, and Freya pulls me aside. "Um." She looks nervous.

"What is it?"

"Remember when I asked if you were in a relationship, and we thought things could be fine because you weren't?"

Uh oh. "Yes?" This doesn't look like it's leading anywhere good.

"Well, it turns out, I'm kind of in one."

"Oh." I glance away from her. "How long?" I'm curious.

"Three years."

"That's a while." I feel bad now.

"Yeah."

"It's serious then." Not that I want to end the relationship if it's not, but I feel bad that she unknowingly cheated on him with me.

"Yeah. It's another Tok'ra." She pauses. "We're married."

Now I feel worse. "Oh, wow, you're... I have no idea you were married. You could have told me you were married."

She looks down. "Well, I wasn't planning on starting a relationship with you."

"Yeah, but we got along. We were friends. When we first met we talked about our lives. On this last mission, you could have mentioned you had gotten married."

Freya looks back to me. "It wouldn't have made a difference on Neeria. Me telling you before wouldn't have made me remember later."

I shake my head. "Yeah, I know." I turn away, not sure what to do. I can't believe I spent the last several weeks with someone else's wife.

"I should probably go talk to him now."

I nod. "Yeah."

She nods quietly to herself before leaving. I consider asking her who it is, but decide against it. Instead I just watch her leave.

To be continued...


	16. Tok'ra

(Unicorn682006, thanks. Glad to see a response to that little sub-story.)

Part 16, Tok'ra

--Gete--

I go to my quarters. I want Aldwin back in my head. I know where he is too. It's not fair. How come I was the one who told the Neerians that the symbiotes needed to be put back, and I'm the only host who didn't get someone? Four months with my lonely self, and two more days of it.

"How are you feeling?" Amb asks. He's at the door.

Must be polite. "Missing my symbiote."

Amb nods. "I know the feeling. I miss Malek."

Yes, but at least you have someone. My someone. Give me Aldwin back, then you can complain. Otherwise, shut up! I make a polite grin. "We'll get them back soon."

"I'll leave you to yourself." He leaves.

I realize he knew I was angry. I chased him away, along with Aldwin. Now I feel lonelier. Hey, come back! Should I go after him? I consider it. I'd probably just be snappy at him though. I don't want Aldwin's first impression of me with my memories to be "Wow, he's rude."

I shake my head slightly. Kilso was right. I should have waited until tomorrow. Then I'd only have one day to deal with being Aldwin-less. I sit on my bed and bring my legs up to hug them. How am I going to make it through the next couple days?

--Daniel--

I've spent my time wandering around the tunnels to get familiar with them. They have the same set up on every planet, so it is a good time to figure out what is where. I have no idea where I am at the moment, but I find Kela'an. He's monitoring something. "Hi."

He looks to me. "Daniel."

"I heard you were the one who figured out about the attack...um...thanks."

"Actually Drack was."

"Drack...oh, your host."

"Yes, him."

"Well, thank you, Drack."

"He says your welcome."

He seems busy. I turn around and start heading away.

"How long will you be staying?" he asks.

I turn around. "What?"

"You have your memory back, and you have no symbiote to have transferred. There is no reason for you to remain here."

"I'm staying for Sam's sake. She might need help."

"Do you not believe the Tok'ra are willing to help her?"

"I'm sure they are. What's this about?"

He's quiet for a moment. "If you insist on staying, I would appreciate if you avoided Freya."

"Why...?" I trail off, connecting his new attitude and her recent news. "Oh."

He just looks at me.

"I guess I'll be avoiding Freya."

He turns away, going back to his work without another word. I go to my room. It's the first time in a while that I felt uncomfortable at the Tok'ra base.

--Sam--

It's been a day since I got my memories back. Olokum arrived at the new planet he was sent to, and thankfully, the plan worked. He assumed they had been ambushed and didn't want to bother avenging them. The Neerians will be safe from him.

It's now time for the symbiotes to get their memories back. The healing room is kind of crowded. People want to be there, and I think the Tok'ra feel less of a need to back off now that the human Tok'ra got all their memories back.

_I won't be 'Carter' for much longer_, 'Carter' thinks. She feels sad about that. _I like 'Carter.'_

_Once you get your memories back, you'll prefer your real name._

She hugs me, which is sending a tingling warmth through my skin. I'm going to miss that. She's been clinging to me all day, which feels like her hugs, but constant.

"Who is the first volunteer?" Kilso asks.

_You want to be first?_ I ask.

I get a negative response.

'Malek' moves forward and sits down on the bed. He's grinning a bit.

Kilso approaches. "You need to stay in control until I'm done." He quickly gets to work, running the devise over him. Gete is watching, looking rather eager. Martouf is watching Gete, keeping a smile that tells me he's amused. Freya seems distracted, and I think she's biting her fingernails.

Kilso steps away when he's done. "How do you feel?"

'Malek' opens his eyes, still grinning. He stands and turns to Gete. "Gete."

"Aldwin!" Gete is very quick to take a few steps and hug.

_I guess he's Aldwin_, 'Carter' thinks.

_He seemed Aldwinish._

"I keep thinking stuff, and no one responds," Gete says.

"I'll be back soon."

"Hours."

They keep hugging while Kilso asks who is next.

'Anise' takes a quick step forwards, glances to Martouf and I to make sure we don't mind, then continues. She glances to Gete and Aldwin, who are talking quietly together, then looks to Kilso. I wonder if she has any idea who she is. Kilso works on her and asks how she feels afterwards.

"I feel fine." She stands up.

It's kind of funny that everyone stands up right after they get their memory back. I don't think Kilso approves of that.

Kilso scans her. "Mind telling us who you are?"

"Anise."

So it was Anise all along.

_Poor Anise_, 'Carter' thinks.

_Why "poor Anise?" She doesn't have to miss her host. They are already together._

_She has no one eagerly waiting to give her hugs, telling her how much they miss her, and saying they can't wait until they are blended again._

That's a sad way to think about it.

_She's also the only symbiote who wasn't brought closer to another human do to a misplaced blending._

I chuckle to the term. _That's assuming 'Malek' isn't actually Malek._

_Well, 'Lantash' just volunteered to be next, and Amb is giving him the same expression Gete gave Aldwin...so unless Amb doesn't know his own symbiote..._

_You're Lantash._

_It seems I am._

Lantash. I really didn't want it to be Lantash. He'll know everything now, and soon Martouf will know everything.

_It can't be that bad. I must like you. Remember I called you Pretty?_

Crap. Lantash knows when I first saw him I was disgusted.

_You didn't realize it was me._ He chuckles, and the reality seems to set in. _That was me!_

_Yes, that was you._

_That was me worrying about Martouf. That was me squealing in sadness. That was... You held me._

_Yes, I did._

_And I nipped you._

_A gentle nip._

_I have freckles!_

_Yes, you do. _Thankfully. I wouldn't have recognized him otherwise.

"'Carter,'" Kilso calls.

'Carter' takes control. "Yes? Oh, right. Sorry, we were talking." He looks to Martouf...or Malek...whichever one is in control.

_Well, he's hugging Amb, so I assume its Malek._

It must feel odd to be able to hug your own host like that.

We go to the bed and sit down. Kilso starts working. Soon memories flow through 'Carter'...Lantash's mind. I feel like I'm watching and living them on the same time. Many of the memories leave me as soon as they are lived, but some of the most important memories have stayed. I wonder how long it'll take for them to disappear from me all together. Hopefully not too long. I feel like I'm invading.

Only a few seconds have passed in the end, but it felt much longer. I now know that this is definitely Lantash. He looks to Martouf afterwards, suddenly seeing him very differently than he had for the past four months.

It's almost funny. All this time he kept saying that this experience was the only reason he was part of the relationship, but it was really me who was the outsider. I quietly watch them hug.

Kilso is going around and monitoring everyone. He turns to Jack afterwards. I can't hear what he says, but Dad looks happy with it. Jack looks surprised.

--Selmak--

Kilso just said he'd like Sam to stay an extra day. Needless to stay, Jacob is happy with having another day to spend with his daughter. Kilso seems to need to convince Jack of this. "Samantha will need time to adjust, and I would also like to keep monitoring her."

Jack considers this. "I think this should be up to her. We can ask her tomorrow."

"We can ask her after this."

Jack looks over, looking unsure.

"It'll give her more time to decide," Kilso adds.

"Yeah...but..."

Kilso frowns. "Is there a problem?"

Jacob decides to speak. "Lantash wouldn't purposely influence her decision."

"But he may influence her."

"I'm sure he'll have an opinion about the idea, and she'll of course know what it is. It won't be any different than when I give her my opinion."

"Besides..." Kilso adds, "Lantash has a right to give his opinion. Until tomorrow, she is his host."

I don't think Jack liked Kilso saying that. Jacob approaches his daughter when Lantash doesn't seem busy. "Samantha."

She gets control and looks to her dad. Martouf leaves. Sam watches him leave for a second before looking back to us. "Dad."

"Kilso thinks you should stay an extra day."

Her eyebrows raise a bit, and she looks to Jack.

"It's up to you," Jack replies.

"I don't know." She frowns a little, looking put on the spot.

"You have time to figure it out," Jacob says as he hugs his daughter.

She nods. "I'm going to go back to my room. Lantash is tired."

I'd imagine suddenly remembering over a thousand years of memories would be tiring. Sam also looks tired.

"All right." Jacob turns back to Jack when she leaves. "I need to return to Earth now. I have a son who is still mourning his sister. I've stayed to help her adjust while she still had amnesia, but at this point, she can miss me for a few hours." He feels guilty still, having to decide between being there for Sam and telling Mark. Mark thinks his sister is dead, but Sam was in a strange place with strangers with few people she could fully trust.

Jack nods.

Jacob leaves, deciding to talk to Sam first, also thinking of what he'll say to Mark. He heads up to the surfaces and walks to the chaapa'ai. _What do I say?_

_Tell him that she was found, but do to needed recovery, she cannot return yet._

Jacob sighs softly as he dials, feeling guilty. _He was right. We gave up too soon._

_What other option was there?_

_Keep up hope._

_The Tok'ra don't deal with loss that way._

He sighs as he heads up the steps to the gate.

_They were captured and disappeared shortly after. Most of the time, hell, ninety percent of the time, that means they were killed. We searched where we could, and everyone was on a lookout for them. It was all we could do. Moving on was for us, not them. We have too many disappearances like this to refuse to move on._

_That doesn't mean I should have brought my son into it. _He goes though and finds himself on the other side. He waits to be greeted and says he needs to use the phone.

I respond as he follows someone to a phone. _Pretend you weren't involved. Imagine this was before you learned about the stargate and the Goa'uld._

_Yeah? _He sits down in front of a phone.

_Would you want the SGC telling you they'll find her while they were actually mourning her?_

Jacob frowns, shaking his head lightly. _No._

_You told Mark what you believed to be the truth. You shouldn't feel guilty about that._

Jacob still isn't entirely convinced, but he does realize Mark needs to be told a little more than he is told. He hesitates a while before dialing.

Mark answers, "Hello?" He sounds sleepy.

Jacob frowns, looking at the time, realizing he probably woke Mark up. _Nice father I am_, he thinks sarcastically. _I wait until he's asleep to call._ "Hello Mark."

"Dad?" There's a pause. "Is there something wrong?"

Jacob hesitates for a second. "We found her."

"Found...? Sam?" The second part is locked with a combination of anticipated excitement or dread. After all, he wasn't told whether or not she was found alive.

"She's alive."

"Is she all right?"

Jacob hadn't fully explained yet because, like with explaining her disappearance, it'll be a combination of truth and lies. He hates lying to his son, especially when it concerns Sam. "She and the others had managed to escape. Sam was injured when we found her. She's going to be fine, but she needs some time to recover."

"How was she injured?"

Jacob knew he'd ask. "She was shot." It was either that or say she was burned. Both would be true, but saying she was burned would imply she might have been tortured. We know Sam wouldn't want Mark thinking this.

"She was shot?" He sounds worried again. "Are you sure she's going to be okay? Can I talk to her?"

"I'm sorry, you can't." He closes his eyes in guilt. "I'll call back in a few days. She'll be with me then. You can talk to her then. I know you're worried, but she's going to be fine. She's with...allies right now. They're taking care of her. Some of the people who disappeared with her are part of them."

"Martouf's people?"

Jacob is a little surprised until he remembers he told Mark that Martouf was a guide from a classified location. "Yeah, Martouf's people. They are in a much safer place than where they were when they disappeared."

"Is everyone who was captured safe?"

"Yeah. They all escaped."

There is a pause. "Did you leave her location to call me?"

"...Yes."

I can almost hear him smile. "You should go back to her."

Jacob nods. "Goodbye Mark."

"Goodbye Dad."

Jacob hangs up, and I hug him. _Do you feel better?_

_Yeah._

_We should go back to her, like Mark said._

He grins. _Yeah._

--Sam--

I'm still avoiding Martouf, and Lantash has, for the most part, retreated. He's quietly going through Jolinar's memories now. I haven't protested. He probably has more right to them than I do. He trying to figure out exactly why she took me as a host.

Gete comes into the room. "Hi."

"How are you?"

"Like half my soul is missing. You?"

I frown slightly, feeling bad for him. "Would talking to Aldwin help?"

"Tried that, and no it doesn't." He sits down. "Amb kept wanting to talk to Malek." He grins. "Malek was there. Amb and Aldwin had to keep switching control to talk to the person they are supposed to be blended with." He shrugs lightly. "All I kept thinking the entire time was that I wanted him back in my head."

"Sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"This is delayed because I was shot."

"True, but I think Kilso would insist we delay anyway, to deal with the memories first."

"Still..."

"Still what?" He shakes his head. "Malek, great symbiote, but his ability to heal his host is..." He shakes his hand lightly. "Well, he's certainly not the best at it. Lantash on the other hand, he's great. Not as good as Aldwin," he adds proudly, "but he's very good."

Hadn't realized that.

"My point is, you were shot because you pushed him out of the way. Aside from healing abilities, the shot wasn't as direct because you were moving. So less direct shot..." He touches his right index finger to his left. "..a better healer..." He then touches his left middle finger, now holding two fingers up on his left hand. It's amusing. Never seen anyone outside of Earth do that. "...still, you and Lantash barely survived. If it had been Malek and Martouf..."

I feel Lantash shudder suddenly, not listening to anything, but definitely picking up on my thoughts of the idea of Martouf dying. _What are you talking about? Why is Martouf's death a conversational piece?_

I quickly explain.

_Martouf_, he thinks sadly before retreating again.

I shake my head slightly. "Now you have Lantash sad about that idea."

"Sorry Lantash." Gete shifts in his seat. "Even if I'm wrong, they would have been shot, and we'd be waiting for them." He looks a little more serious. "I didn't come here just to complain about my lack of Aldwin."

"What is it?"

"How are you doing?"

That is a little surprising. Never been close to Gete. Never really spoke to him before the capture, and we didn't speak much while on Neeria. "I'm fine."

"Are you scared?"

"Why would I be scared?"

"Because the symbiote you've been blended with for the past four months is going to go somewhere else." He tilts his head slightly. "It's fine if you're scared. I'm scared, and I'm older."

"Are you?" It's more a statement than a question.

"In Earth years I am a hundred and five."

My eyes widen slightly. "Wow." I knew hosts could be and probably were older than me, but it's still surprising to hear how old individuals are. "I always suddenly feel young when a Tok'ra tells me how old they are." I still remember how overwhelmed and shocked I was when I learned Martouf had been married for almost a hundred years. Up until then he seemed about my age.

"You are young."

"I guess you can never tell how old a Tok'ra is."

He grins. "No."

"Are any of them around my age?"

"Many are around your age... I don't think you met them though."

I grin slightly, wondering how much younger than me they look.

"How long will you be staying after the symbiotes return to their original hosts?"

"Kilso told me to stay an extra day."

"You should."

"It's strange."

He chuckles. "Strange? Yesterday I found out I've spent the last four months secretly dating my own symbiote." He shakes his head. "Do you have any idea how much Aldwin and I are going to be teased for this?"

I frown. "Tok'ra tease each other?"

"We're less serious when it's just Tok'ra. We're like any other family. I know you and Mark tease each other. I hear about it from Jacob." He grins. "At least we're not alone. Martouf and Lantash also have that to look forward to."

I touch the back of my neck. Poor Lantash is going to be teased.

Gete touches my arm lightly. "I'll be ready to listen if you ever need."

"Thank you, but I'll be fine."

"I hope so." He gets up. "I think I'm going to see if I can talk to Aldwin."

I nod. "If not, you can come back here...if you want."

"Thank you." He walks off, but then turns back. "Oh, Samantha?"

"Yes?"

"Can you not mention the whole thing about Tok'ra teasing each other to anyone? It's not something we tell outsiders."

"I won't. So I guess you broke that tradition by telling me?"

"You're not an outsider." He walks away.

I'm not an outsider?

_Many Tok'ra consider you to be part of us_, Lantash thinks. _After this, I am certain more will believe the same._

I had no idea.

To be continued...

(Hmm, so should Lantash figure out why Jolinar did she what she did, or should he be left wondering?)


	17. Gone

(At part 17 and just now realized I've been spelling Olokun wrong. Warning, this part has a curse word. Only one though.

Unicorn682006, thanks for your review and your vote. I was curious to what people would say to that. I have some plans for the Daniel thing, but it won't be resolved in this story.

Es Charmed, thank you. I kind of had the same opinion myself, but also thought it would be good if he did know, so I that's why I asked.

Sweetangel4, nice to hear from you again. I wasn't sure how people would react to two of the symbiotes dating their own hosts.)

Part 17, Gone

--Lantash--

Samantha has fallen asleep for the night, but she gave me permission to visit Martouf before she did. It's a little strange to be asking permission to see my own host, but I don't want her to be uncomfortable if she wakes up. I smile as I enter his room, hoping he's not asleep.

Martouf looks up and gives his Martouf smile. "Lantash." He gets up, and we hug. "I've been wanting to talk to you all day. I've missed you. Malek is great, but he's not you."

"Have you been eating right?"

He grins. "Yes."

"If I return tomorrow to find you missing any nutrition, I'm going to lecture you and Malek about it."

He looks guilty. "I might have missed a few meals."

"Martouf."

"You know I don't want to eat when I'm worried. Lecture me all you want later, but leave Malek out of it. He's tried. You know how stubborn I am." He raises his eyebrows slightly.

I hug him again. "I've missed you." Hm. He smells Martoufy.

He looks to me afterwards. "Did we mess up with Samantha?"

"I don't think so."

"Did I hurt her?"

"No, why would you think you hurt her?"

He looks worried. "She looked hurt when she got her memories back."

I feel bad when remembering how hurt he looked.

He continues, "I know how confused she was with Jolinar's memories, and now after...being together...I...if I hurt her somehow."

"You didn't hurt her," I assure. I want everyone to know the truth, but I want to tell everyone when I am where I should be. More importantly, I want all three of us involved, just the three of us.

"How are you dealing with the memories?"

Uh...

"It must be difficult to avoid them."

"I...didn't exactly avoid them."

Martouf frowns, then looks angry. "You went through Jolinar's memories?!"

"I already felt them when Samantha got hers back. I didn't go through all of them...well, not purposely. I just went through the moments that she and Samantha...blended. I wanted to know why." There's no need to clarify further.

Martouf calms, still frowning, but he nods. "Did you learn anything?"

"No, I just got Samantha's point of view...several times..."

"Well, that's going to be pleasant," Martouf says sarcastically. He looks down for a moment before looking back to me. "Did you at least learn what happened to Rosha?"

"No, but I did confirm that she's...not around."

"We knew that. Jolinar would have never left her otherwise."

I can't say I was sure. As Olokun has proved, a separation between a host and symbiote isn't always willing.

Martouf touches Samantha's hair. "You worked to grow it out, and now she'll have to cut it." Aw, I hadn't thought of that. All my work in vain. It's only a few inches longer than it started anyway. His fingers then lightly trail the necklace he put on her in the clothing room. "Which one of you put it back on?"

"She never took it off." It's quiet for a moment, and I speak again. "I assume Malek is asleep."

"Yes. Try avoiding his name. He's very alert to it, and it might wake him up. Then he'd tell me I should be sleeping, and I don't want to argue about that."

"He'd be right. We should both be sleeping." I'm sure if I were still here if he woke up, he'd be telling me I should sleep too.

"I don't want to keep you awake. You need to be at full health for your journey tomorrow."

"I'll be fine."

"But-"

"Martouf." I touch his shoulders. "I'm not going to die on you."

He nods.

"Tomorrow we'll be back together." I start touching the back of his neck, like I have often done in the past four months, but I stop myself. It's not something I should be doing with my host.

He seems to notice. "Don't want to risk waking him up?"

"Right." Let Martouf think that.

"What was it?"

Damn. He knows me too well. "Well...it was..." I grin, blushing slightly. "Not so innocent."

Martouf grins, and then he kisses me. I stand there, too surprised to respond, but enjoy the vibrations it sends through my skin. "Martouf?" I question when he pulls away.

"You just admitted to thinking about it."

"Not quite."

"You like doing that before kissing someone. I was blended with you for over a hundred years, and now have dated you for four months. You don't think I noticed? It's always what you do when you aren't actively thinking about it. You touch the neck, massage down the spine, and kiss."

"I never realized that." Of course not. He just said it was when I wasn't thinking about it. "It's good?"

"We always enjoyed it." He's still avoiding actually saying Malek. He kisses me again.

I return the kiss this time, letting him control. Having been my host for so long, he knows exactly what I like. When he pulls away I find my hand at the base of his spine. "I do do that."

He grins. "Yeah."

I really should be getting over the past four months. Certain memories of him don't help though. I should leave. Okay, one more kiss. I kiss him. I owe him after all. He gave me a perfect kiss, and I should return the favor. I guide him against the wall, because he likes when one person is up against the wall. I rub my thumb over his wrist gently, right over the pulse. My other hand is a little rougher.

Then someone walks into the room.

Damn!

I look over. Worse. It's Jack. He doesn't look pleased at all. What guy walks into someone else's quarters then get annoyed by what they see?

Martouf looks embarrassed, pulling away, as if that'll change what Jack saw. I catch his wrist and keep hold. Gently of course. "Hello Jack."

"One of the Tok'ra said they saw Sam head this way."

"She's asleep."

Jack looks less pleased. He glances to the part of the room we were a few minutes ago. "I see."

"What Martouf and I do in his _personal_ quarters is not your concern."

"It is when it involves Sam."

I hope he doesn't bring this up to anyone else. If he does, Martouf and I will _never_ hear the end of it. Most Tok'ra give a little warning because walking into someone's quarters, just to be polite. I realize Jack might not have realized he was even being directed to someone's room though. "Samantha isn't getting hurt by this."

Martouf nods. I love him. He doesn't even have to ask. He knows I would have never allowed it if there was a chance it could hurt Sam.

"Yet you waited until she was asleep."

My eyes flare in anger. I don't care how he feels about the Tok'ra. This is getting insulting! "What are you implying?"

"I think you know."

"You should leave."

"I-"

"Now!"

He looks angry.

Martouf steps between us. "Sir..." Oh he's using sir. That means he's being extra polite, though I can see he's also angry. He's hiding it behind a friendly smile. "I assure you, I would never harm Samantha. Lantash was leaving soon anyway. We were just saying goodnight."

"Some goodnight."

"Yes." His grin grows a little, which makes Jack uncomfortable enough to leave. Ha! Martouf turns to me. "Wasn't my way better?"

"Perhaps, but my way of asking him to leave was much more enjoyable."

"That's why I'm the one in control when dealing with him." He hugs me. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Martouf." I hold him close and smell him. It's not often I get to really smell him. Never notice it before because, well, people don't generally notice their own smell. I head out afterwards. Jack is there, probably to make sure I actually leave. I glare at him before heading back to my quarters.

I lay down. I miss Martouf already. I want to smell him. I should have brought something of his to smell. I touch the necklace he put on us. In a way it's the last gift I'll ever get from him in a romantic way, even if it's being borrowed.

I pick up a picture I borrowed from Jacob. It's Martouf and I. Of course I can't be seen, but I'm there. I miss that. I miss his emotions and thoughts. I miss our arguments. I miss comforting each other. I miss being able to actually do something when he's hurt. I can ease the pain or give him warmth. I miss being able to sense every part of him, down to the cell if needed.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll have him back. Tomorrow he'll be my host again.

I close my eyes and set the picture down. Visiting and updating him wasn't the only reason I went. Only if Jack hadn't interrupted...

From a pocket in the dress I pull out a memory device. I attach it easily to Samantha's temple. Then I look at the remote which is turned off. I had discussed this with Samantha, and she said I could use it, but she preferred to be asleep when I did. That means right now is probably the last chance I have to learn the truth about Jolinar.

--Amb--

I pass by an angry looking Jack. I wonder what he's upset about. I sneak into Martouf's quarters and watch for a moment. He seems to be asleep. I should be getting to sleep too. I start heading out, but then he says my name. I turn back to him. "I hope I didn't wake you."

He touches the back of his neck. "Not me."

Oops.

His eyes flash, and my lovely symbiote looks annoyed at me. "You should be sleeping."

I look at the pretty crystal floor. "I know."

"Why am I the only one who seems to be following Kilso's orders?"

I guess I'm not the only one awake. "I tried to sleep." I'm over a hundred years old, yet right now I feel like a child. If I can't sleep, I should be resting at least, not sneaking into other people's quarters. I remind myself to the fact that I am that old. "You should be more worried about yourself." Even if I was the one to wake him. I point to the bed. "Go back in there, close your eyes, and start snoring."

He smiles. "I never snore." He does, however, go back into the bed.

I walk over the tuck a thin blanket around him. "Comfortable?"

He nods. "I trust you are heading back to your quarters after this."

"I promise I will try to sleep." I look to him. He's holding an expression on Martouf that he's held on me so many times. "Goodnight."

He closes his eyes, and I know he'll probably fall asleep quickly. I leave and head not to my quarters, but to Gete's. He's asleep where I left him. Aldwin was having a hard time falling asleep until I visited him. It turned out he had a hard time falling asleep too. They helped each other. They left me alone to be awake, though I know they didn't mean to. I go back into the bed and close my eyes. I'll try to go to sleep because that is what I promised. I know that I will fail though.

--Lantash--

_"Colonel, this man is still alive!" The voice was distance, feminine._

_He's not the only one in here, and we aren't alive for long. I ignore the near female, working on easing the pain of my current host, a male. I'm terrified, and thinking of Marrtouf and Lantash._

_Suddenly I feel mouth on my host's mouth. Could she possibly know? How...? It is, after all, how the Tok'ra join with a new host. What else could be be for, other than kissing._

_The female pulls away. _

_Wishful thinking? Maybe I didn't really feel that. Wait, there is it again. Sorry, I think to the nearly dead man. He's too weak to notice my departure, and I'm thankful for that. I move a hand to the back of the female's head. I move quickly as my new host moves pulls back. Control to me is automatic, and I'm bombarded with memories._

_Samantha Carter. Stargate Command. They fight the Goau'ld. They had no knowledge of the Tok'ra. This new host is protesting. _

_Shit._

"Argh!" Make the guilt go away! Make it go away! I try to scape the memory device away from Samantha's temple, but the memories are too strong. I myself hit something hard, so I think we fell off the bed.

"_Carter!"_

_O'Neill, I think, getting the name from the memories of my new host._

"_We have got to go," he continues. His voice was now closer._

_I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I turn to him, startled. What did I just do? I can't believe what I just did! Think. Think! I notice blood and wipe it from my mouth. Did he notice? He must have. _

"_You all right?"_

"_Yeah." The answer is automatic._

"Lantash," someone calls.

My name seems distant. I almost feel as if I've forgotten that is my name. Who is that? The memories keep going. I really didn't want to see all this. They seem to go quickly, but it's all very real.

"Yosef?" I think she's the one who called me.

I hear her hurrying closer as I feel like I'm having a dream about everyone I love telling me they are all ashamed of me. It includes myself since it's really Jolinar's memories. I watch my dream self tell me that I've put them all to shame. Why am I seeing her dreams?!

Yosef pulls me up. Notice the memory device. Take it off. Please?

"_What are you doing?" Samantha asks._

"_Healing..." is all I can say. I feel cold and exhausted. "Keep...fighting." Samantha is getting strong, but at the cost of my own life. I give her all my strength until I cannot give anymore. "Tell...them..." I don't know if she heard me or not, but my mind goes to Martouf, Lantash, and Rosha. "Forgive me loves."_

Yosef takes the memory device off. I realize I'm indeed on the floor and leaning against my bed. She couldn't notice that before I felt Jolinar die? I close my eyes. The last thing she thought was asking for my forgiveness. I close my eyes.

"Why did you have a memory device?" Yosef is asking. She looks concerned.

"I wanted to know the truth."

She frowns. "Lantash."

"I had to know." I look up to her. "I had to."

She wipes my cheek, and I realize there was tears. "What did you see? Why did you have the setting of the memory device so high?"

I look down. My head hurts. "I tried on a lower setting. It wasn't working. I kept seeing Samantha's point of view. The high setting was the only one that worked." I touch my temple. "I couldn't get it off though. The memories made reality disappear." That's why I wanted Martouf around when I did this. No one should use the memory device when they are alone. I knew better, but I did it anyway.

Yosef touches Samantha's hair. "You hit her head."

What? I touch my temple again, realizing there is blood running down.

"If you are able to heal it, I don't think it'll delay the switches back." She helps me up and wiped the blood away. "Is Sam asleep?"

"Yeah, she wanted to be asleep for this." That way the memories don't come to her so strongly. They just come to her gently after she's woken up. I sit down on the bed.

"Is what you found worth this?"

I smile. "Yeah, it was worth it." I had been worried about invading before, but I realize Jolinar wanted me to know the truth. Though she certainly had other ideas of how I'd get it.

I lay down, and Yosef watches for a few minutes before leaving. I'll heal Samantha quickly enough before going to sleep.

--Sam--

_Somehow I know I'm dreaming. I'm walking around one of my childhood homes. It's the one that has the best memories for me. I still dream about it...obviously._

"_Hello Samantha." A dream Lantash. He looks like Martouf._

"_Hello."_

"_We haven't spoken much lately."_

_I miss that. I turn to him. "Well, you've been avoiding me."_

_He takes my hands, and I feel a hug as only a symbiote can give its host. "My Samantha, I can only hope that the last four months has been as joyful for you as it has been for me."_

_I would have never thought I would enjoy being blended. The four months without memory isn't much of an issue though. It's how we feel after our memories have returned._

"_I'll miss you," he adds._

"_You'll have Martouf back."_

"_A part of me is always lost with every host I lose. It won't be any different with you, though you will be the first who doesn't die in the loss."_

_That makes me feel special. It's also a little sad. I don't want to take anything from him._

_He touches my temple lightly, and trails his fingers through my hair. He arrives at my ear and caresses it gently. Each touch feels hot. Not painful. Good. Very good. He disappears, but the feeling stays. "Lantash."_

I wake up and begin wondering if that was really him or not. I check on him. He's asleep. He would have had to been awake if he purposely caused the dream. It could have been a combined dreamed. Hmm. I check on him again. He's not dreaming though. I guess it was all me.

I get up and get dressed. As I do, I start remembering Lantash's visit with Martouf. Well, that's interesting. I also start remembering his use of the memory device. I touch my temple where it bled. The injury has been healed. "Hello," I say when I feel someone approaching the room.

"Hello Samantha." It's Malek. "How are you?"

I turn to him after fixing my bed. "Good."

"In an hour everyone will be back where they belong, and I'll be taking the first mission out of here. Amb has agreed to it."

"Don't you want some recovery time with the others?"

"It's the others we want to avoid."

"Oh." This is very strange. It's Malek. When I first met him I considered him an condescending symbiote who's only felt emotions were care for the Tok'ra, hatred for his enemy, and arrogance towards everyone else. I found myself to be part of that "everyone else." He was pushy, one minded, and way too stubborn for his own good. But the last four months he was devoted, caring, and strong symbiote, who I fell in love with. Still stubborn, which set him towards his goals. It's hard to combine the two "Malek"s into one, which is what he really is.

"I wanted to know...if you..." He gives a shy grin I would have never thought him capable of before this. "If I can kiss you a last time."

"You want to kiss me?"

"Well, I thought it might be really awkward if I asked you after I returned to Amb," he jokes.

I grin slightly and kiss him. He closes his eyes and takes my lower arms. "I'll miss this." He kisses me again.

I smile afterwards. "I guess that was two last kisses."

"Want to get breakfast? Martouf hasn't been eating very well these past few days, and given last night's conversation, I'll be getting lectured about it."

"Well, I wouldn't want that." I follow him to the Tok'ra mess hall. I get some food, having no idea what is what, and sit down at a table with him. "So, this mission...?"

"Classified, as you would say."

I nod slightly. He's going to be a spy. "Weren't you caught last time?"

He looks defensive. "That wasn't my fault."

"I didn't mean to blame you, it's just...aren't you worried the Goa'uld know what you look like now?"

"They don't usually share information." He takes some bites of his breakfast.

It's quiet, and I don't know what to say. It gets uncomfortable. "So Freya is married?"

"Yes. It was a lovely wedding...so I heard."

"You didn't go?"

"I wasn't invited." He picks up what looks like a potato chip. "Anise and I don't get along very well. With Tok'ra weddings, it's impossible for everyone to attend, given our lifestyle. There was no reason for me to take time out of my schedule to go to hers."

"So you all have a funeral together, but you don't all celebrate things like weddings together." I frown slightly. "That's kind of sad."

Malek looks serious. "Funerals are more important to attend."

"I didn't mean to insult."

He changes the subject. "I guess Lantash failed in his mission to learn the truth about Jolinar."

I feel a little uncomfortable. "Actually, he succeeded after he left your quarters. He didn't get much sleep. I think it's better if you learn the truth from him." I don't know the entire truth myself. I'm avoiding the memories he's found.

He nods as he finishes his meal. There wasn't much on his plate in the first place. "Jack is coming."

Oh, right. He wanted to talk to me last night about something.

"And Martouf is waking up," Malek adds.

"Good morning, Martouf."

"I should go before he sees your friend and gets angry again." He starts getting up. "He needs to be calm for the switch."

"I'll see you soon, Malek." I watch him walk away.

_Martouf?_ Lantash thinks as he wakes up.

I get up, putting my plate away. _You aren't back in him yet._

He sends off an emotional sting, offended. _I know that. I thought I heard him being mentioned._

_I was talking to Malek, and he said Martouf was waking up._ I look to Jack. "Hello sir." Daniel and Teal'c are with him, and I greet them as well.

"Glad to see you awake," Jack replies, which causes me to hear a mental hiss from Lantash.

If Martouf needs to be calm for the switch, then Lantash certain needs to be too. _Ignore him, please._

_I haven't figured out what is more offensive? That he thinks I would hurt you, that he thinks I would hurt my host, which also happens to be you, or that he thinks I approve of using a host. Then there is the offense to Martouf. He thinks Martouf would approve of using a host._

_Lantash-_

_Martouf is a host. Why would be approve of using one?!_

"Sir, I need to go."

"Are-"

"You offended Lantash."

_Hey!_ He thinks.

_Like he doesn't know. You made it clear last night that you were offended. _"He needs to be calm before he goes back to Martouf, and...you're kind of having the opposite effect."

Teal'c raises and eyebrow, probably wondering what he missed. Daniel is frowning slightly and giving Jack a "What did you do?" look. Jack is frowning slightly. "All right."

I walk away.

_No wonder Malek left the area so quickly_, Lantash thinks.

I realize Malek left to avoid Jack himself. _Jack never said anything against Malek._

_He accused his current host, and yes, indirectly he accused Malek. There is a certain expectation with the Tok'ra, that you should be able to pick up things from your blended partner, even if you are asleep, especially for a symbiote since we are older than any of our hosts. It's usually for when the host needs us, but it also includes illegal activity. Remember your nightmares? What kind of symbiote would I be if I kept on sleeping while you were worried or scared?_

_I wouldn't have blamed you._

_But I was always there, wasn't I?_

I grin. _Yes._

_And I helped you, like I should, just as you helped me when I had nightmares. I always take care of my hosts. I love each and every one of them, and I meant it when I said a piece of me always leaves with them._

I stop._ That...that was you?_

_That was me._

I feel the same burn as from the dream. I'm going to miss this. He hugs me. I'm going to miss that too. _Well, that part you lost when you were removed from Martouf is about to come back._

He grins.

_And you'll be bringing a part of me with you._

_We'll take good care of it_, he jokes, as if it's a physical thing.

I smile and continue walking. Gete, Amb, Martouf, and Kilso are in the healing room when I arrive. Kilso is scanning them. "I asked that only those involved be here," Kilso says. "I thought you'd want the privacy."

I feel a bit sorry for Freya and Daniel. They were part of everything until the end.

Kilso scans me. "It seems you are all ready." That's good. After last night, I wasn't sure if we'd be ready.

_I should numb your throat when it's time_, Lantash thinks. _It'd hurt otherwise. I don't want our last seconds to be painful for you._

Gete looks nervous now, and he speaks to Aldwin. "Take your time. I'm ready when you're ready. Don't hurt yourself."

I glance to another direction to give them some privacy, not that they would know I'm looking elsewhere.

_Watching might help you prepare_, Lantash thinks.

_Fine, I'll watch when Malek switches._ I look up and see Amb has blood on his lips. He takes out a cloth and wiped it off. I wonder where he was keeping that. He looks...not sure, uncomfortable.

_I'm sure he is_, Lantash thinks. _Malek will return to him soon though and make it better._

Malek moves closer to do this...or Martouf. Not sure which one is in control.

_They switched a few times, that's why._ Lantash takes control and moves closer help steady Martouf if he needs it.

Kilso is running scans again. He nods when he's done, which I guess means everyone is okay. I watch Malek switch over. Lantash takes a grip of one of Martouf's arms while wrapping my arm around his back. Martouf is coughing. Amb or Malek goes to sit.

"Are you ready?" Lantash asks when Martouf seems to finish coughing.

Martouf nods.

I get control again and now have instructions.

_Stand in front of him. Lean in like you're going to kiss him. Take his hands. It'll feel more comfortable that way. Also you can use us to keep steady if needed. Concentrate on standing._

I move in front, then glance to Malek as he moves behind me. My throat becomes numb. I look back to Martouf and lean in while concentrating on staying upright.

_I'll see you soon_, Lantash says, then he disappears. His thoughts and emotions are gone, and it leaves me feeling shaky and cold. As he switches over I feel like my knees are going to give out. I grip Martouf's hands harder. I still want to drop. Malek is there though, keeping me stable.

Martouf's eyes flash, but his expression turns back to Martouf after a few seconds.

I cough a few times. Kilso is using the healing device on me. The numbness disappears, not needed because he healed me. However, now I feel blood in my throat, and it makes me want to gag. I swallow, hoping that'll rid of most of it.

"Samantha?" Martouf looks concerned.

"I'm fine."

He watches me for a few seconds before his expression changes. He's now talking to Lantash. He's going to know everything. What will he think? Lantash hadn't said one way or another. I feel something on my arm and realize Kilso is putting a monitoring device on me. He hadn't put one on anyone else.

"I won't ask you to stay here for the next hour or so, but I will be monitoring you."

I look to the devise. "Just me?"

"You're special," he answers, which is a polite way of saying he thinks being unblended puts me at higher risk. No one to heal me. No one to monitor me. No one to gives me hugs and warmth. No one to answer every random thought or to share my emotions with. If I felt this bad on Neeria I would have had Lantash take over.

"Will you be staying another day?" Kilso asks.

Even though I know better, I pause my answer to get an opinion from within first. "I don't know." Lantash would have an opinion. He has an opinion on everything.

"Very well. Let me know as soon as you decide." He scans me a last time before walking to another part of the room.

I leave before Martouf can give me his opinion on what he's learned. I find my quarters and start packing. A voice inside tells me to stay. I don't know why though. I don't know if it's because I want to stay or because Lantash would want me to stay.

"Sam?"

I turn around. "Hi Dad."

He looks to my bag. "Leaving?"

"I don't know."

"Whether or not you are staying, you do need to visit Earth and give Mark a call."

I nod. "What did you tell him?" I know most of what Mark knows, or rather, what Mark thinks. I don't know about the last conversation though.

"He believes you are still recovering after being shot."

"He must be worried."

Dad nods. "How are you feeling?"

"A little lonely, but I'll recover."

"You reached out to where he was."

I frown, then realize I'm touching the back of my neck. "Uh, well...I'll have to...not do that later." I sit down, and he sits next to me. "I always thought it would be overwhelming and crowded. If I hadn't had amnesia, it probably would have been. But for four months, it was all I knew."

"How did it feel after you got your memory back?"

"It was fine. He was there, and..." I glance down. "He always did what he could the help me. I realized he holds a lot of pride about that after he got his memories, taking care of his hosts."

"That's the case with any Tok'ra, though some more than others. The best blending is when host and symbiote feel that way about each other."

I nod slightly. "I should probably go call Mark. I'm sure he's waiting."

My dad seems glad that I said that, and he leads the way. He talks to a Tok'ra to tell Kilso what's going on.

I follow Dad, a bit nervous. It's been a while since I've been on Earth. Thinking of which, where are the others from Earth? "Where are Daniel and the others?"

"I told them you might need time alone."

I see Kilso at the rings when we arrive. I guess he's coming with. I turn back to my dad. "After which you can come visit me yourself."

He grins and rings us all up. "You didn't tell me to leave. Jack looked he really wanted to talk to you about something." He frowns. "Is there something I should know?"

"Nothing important."

It takes several minutes to get to the ring. Dad dials in and sends the signal. We go through. Wow. Earth. I miss Earth. Members of SGC give me smiles. Right. They thought I was dead.

Kilso is grinning as he looks around. "Keeping your chaapa'ai under the earth is interesting. We do it on occasion, but it is very difficult and requires a good deal of energy and work." He looks over to the stargate. "Can I see the iris?"

I look up to see Walter is in the control room. I wait until the wormhole disengages before having him close it. Kilso goes up and touches it. "Why don't we have one of these?"

"If the Goa'uld couldn't get to a planet, they would suspect we were there," Selmak answers. "Blending in with nature doesn't work very well if we modify the stargate."

I head to the nearest phone and call my brother.

To be continued...

(I think that was my longest part. Hmm. Anyway, I cheated a bit with the memories with Jolinar and used stuff from one of my previous stories. I thought about what I should do about it. Should I use the same reason I did before, or should I come up with another reason? I decided to keep it the same because even before I knew Lantash would learn the truth, I had it in my mind that it happened in the way I had written it before.)


	18. A Box

(Unicorn682006, thank you for the review. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like the next part.

Sweetangel4, I'm glad you liked the Jolinar's Memories segments. I was worried it'd be confusing to what was her pov and what was really going on with Lantash. I'm glad you liked the Freya/Anise twist. I wasn't sure how people would react to her being married to Kela'an since I made him up.)

Part 18, A Box

--Sam--

Mark and I talk a long time, and I also end up talking to each of his children and his wife. I have no idea what dad and Kilso are doing, and I go looking for them afterwards. I find them in the mess hall. Kilso is having fun exploring Earth foods. "Hello."

Kilso is wiggling a red jell-o cube. He doesn't seem to notice that others in the mess hall are watching him. He's the first Tok'ra to not act serious while here. "You have interesting food." He eats the cube. "Not very nutritional, but it's interesting."

"Most Tok'ra pick out the more nutritional food when they eat here."

"I like this," he picks up a chocolate bar. "I like this the best."

"You've never had chocolate before?"

"As far as I know, chocolate is only on Earth," Selmak answers.

Kilso glances between us. "Selmak knew about this wonderful food and never told anyone. Shameful Selmak."

"We should be returning," Selmak says.

Kilso eats the last jell-o cube in his bowl. He puts his bowl away and eats chocolate on the way to the gate room. He puts the wrapper in a pocket when he's done.

Walter dials and we go back through. Back at the Tok'ra base, I'm not sure where the rings are. I follow the Tok'ra to find it. Jack has wondered how they know where the rings are. I've kind of wondered myself at times. The Tok'ra find them easily, and I head back to my room.

There is a box on my bed. I open it up and find leaves. Leaves? Something is under them. I go through them and pull out a dried flower. It's the one Martouf gave me on our first date. It had been left on Neeria. His flower...and leaves...

I turn around and he's there. "Hello Samantha."

"Martouf."

He walks closer. "Lantash wanted to return back to me before we told you how we felt."

I smile, looking to the box. Leaves have never meant so much before. "They're beautiful."

He moves in closer and starts kissing me. I kiss him back, all the while being careful not to drop the box. Lantash is in control for a second kiss. He pulls away afterwards. "I've been wanting to do that since my memories returned."

"You did a good job at keeping it from me."

He smiles. "Thank you." He kisses me again, massaging the back of my neck as he does. "Will you be staying another day?"

"Yes."

"We have time to make up then. I've been on the wrong side of this relationship for the past four months." He grins, then adds quickly. "Though that way was enjoyable. I had an intelligent and beautiful host. However, I do find I prefer being male again."

I grin.

"There is something else I've been wanting to do."

"Yes?"

He picks me up. "This." He smiles. "There is a beautiful place up on the surface. We should have lunch there."

My feet are wiggling. "We should talk to others first."

He sets me down. "People, then lunch."

I nod, taking his hand. I had been worried how they'd react to how I felt, and it turned out they felt the same way. "Lantash, I hope you aren't offended by anything I thought when I first saw you...in the tank."

He squeezes my hand as we walk. "I am not. I had worried in the past that you cared more for Martouf, or that part of you was disgusted with what I was. But you saw me, and all you did was love me." He moves his hand to gently pinch my hand where he had bitten. "It was my favorite memory."

I smile, and we leave the room.

--Daniel--

This morning the Tok'ra started keeping me busy by showing be assorted objects. They are from various planets that different hosts have come from, and they are curious to what I say about them. The hosts are curious if their culture is similar to any on Earth.

I look up when I here someone walked in. "Uh...A-Anise." Kela'an request that I not see her plays in my mind.

"Hello Daniel."

"Hi...should we be talking?"

"Kela'an's request was a bit unreasonable for the long term. We may find ourselves working together in the future after all."

I nod briefly, not sure what to say.

Anise moves closer and rests her hands on the table. "Most of the people with amnesia found some familiarity with the people they were close to, even if they didn't realize it. In the case with me, I chose rightly in which host to blend with, and I quickly took the chance to spend time with you..." She pauses briefly. "When I first met Kela'an and Drack, all I did was talk about you... They know how I felt about you in the past." She looks downward at the table. "They were so helpful and kind. They just tried to help me, and I didn't even realize I was hurting them."

"That wasn't your fault."

She nods briefly. She knows, but she still feels guilty. "When I got my memories back I told them the whole truth. They looked so hurt..." She looks pained right now.

I wish I could take the pain away. "It's better to be honest."

Anise nods. "It is." She looks from the table to me. "Freya and I still love them."

I knew she was going to say it, but it still stings. I take the route she did and look at the table.

"They say it wasn't my fault. I can't be faulted for having amnesia. The four of us have been together for three years, three wonderful years." She pauses. "Daniel, how Freya and I feel about you...it hasn't changed. Getting our memories back didn't make it disappear."

I wonder if hearing this would be any easier if it had.

She looks down again. "Freya and I want our marriage to work. We are going to have to make these emotions disappear, so... It's probably for the best that we don't see each other for a while. This is going to be our last conversation for the remainder of your stay."

I nod. "I understand."

"We are sorry, Daniel."

"No." I shake my head and look at her. "I'm just as at fault here. I-I didn't mean to interfere with a marriage. It's..." I look down again. "It's best this way. You need to work on your marriage."

"Goodbye Daniel."

"Goodbye Anise...Freya." I hear them walk away. I have no idea when I'll see them again, if I'll see them again.

--Gete--

_I like it when you "Hee_,_" _Aldwin thinks after going through a random thought from four months ago. _I wish I could have seen you in a man's blouse. You would look cute. What you wore to the festival was fine though._

I chuckle. I'm going through the tunnel in search of Malek. _You don't have to answer my old thoughts._

_So many things to catch up on, and you forgot most of them. I can't answer things you forgot._

I find Malek changing clothes in the Tok'ra clothing room. His clothes make him look like a Goa'uld. I bite my lip softly. That means he's leaving today. "Malek, you should give yourself time to recover."

"I have a mission."

"Which can wait a few days."

"No." He shakes his head as he looks over footwear. Right now his feet only have socks on. "I have to get away. There are too many emotions. Amb and I will deal with them better when we aren't around-" He stops, and the expression he holds tells me that Amb probably snapped a "shut up" at him.

"Around me," I finish.

He turns back to me. "Gete."

"You don't want to be around me."

"Argh!" He turns away. "I have feelings for Lantash, who is now male again."

"Well, that's not a problem. Your host prefers males."

"No, he-! Well, yes, he does, but right now he prefers you and Aldwin." Malek sits down quickly on a chair and slaps a shoe on. "I don't have feelings for Martouf in that way, just Lantash..." He slaps on the other shoe. "...and Samantha." He turns back to me. "It's confusing!"

"Malek-"

He gets up and starts looking through jewelry. "Between the two of us, we like four people, only two of whom are blended, and the other two..." He trails and looks down. "It was four of us, and we all loved each other, and now it's the three of them, and I'm out."

I walk over and kneel next to him. "They don't mean to hurt you."

"I fell in love in them. Why did I fall in love with them?" He shakes his head looking hurt. "I want them to be happy, but I can't...I can't sit here and watch them." He looks up to me. His eyes are pained. "I want to leave before they know I'm going. I'm just going to disappear. It's best that way."

I take his hands. "If that's what you want, I won't tell them."

"Can you tel them I want them to be happy together?"

I nod. "Yes."

"And can you tell them I'm happy for them."

"You want me to lie?"

"Yes, I'm asking you to lie. I can't do it. They'll know I'm lying." He looks down. "It hurts."

"I'll lie for you."

"I'm sorry I ruined what you and Amb had. I intruded."

I shake my head. "You didn't intrude." I look at the ground. "It was wrong anyway. Amb was blended with Aldwin and..." I chuckle. "I'm supposed to be blended with Aldwin, not dating him."

Malek briefly gives a light smile, and it's quiet for a moment. He finally gets up. "I need to go."

I realize there is no chance with Amb again. Malek has no interest. I nod, keeping a look on the ground. "All right." I fell in love with Amb, and I could very easily love Malek too.

"Goodbye."

"Bye." I look up to see him walk away. Aldwin starts working to stop forming tears, but I shake my head. _Let them drop._

Aldwin stops and hugs me. _Do you want me to keep answering your earlier thoughts?_

The words make me smile, but I shake my head. _I don't really want to think about anything involving those memories right now._

--Lantash--

Martouf chuckles. _Stop that. _He serves some lunch to Samantha. She's staying the extra day.

_What? _I ask.

_You're snuggling my spine. It feels strange._

_I missed it._

Martouf laughs again. _You missed my spine?_

_Along with the rest of you._

He adds some fruit to Samantha's plate. "Did I ever tell you that Lantash can be very strange?"

Samantha smiled. "I figured that out."

I take over and move closer to Samantha. I take the plate that Martouf just served her and kiss her. We're seated, but my quick movements knock her down a little. "Martouf's memories of you tease me."

"You were there too."

I play with her hair and smell her. "You smell Samantha-y."

She chuckles to the joke from a while back. "Thank you."

The lunch passes by too quickly, and Samantha doesn't feel alone enough to do anything more than kissing. That is very unfortunate. Martouf and I respect her wants so we enjoy what we have. It's probably better I wait a bit anyway, given the recent memories I discovered. I haven't brought it up with Martouf yet. It wouldn't be fair to Samantha to have him thinking about Jolinar.

The day itself moves too quickly. Samantha spends part of it with us and part of it with her father. It's not long before she and the other Tau'ri are leaving. Anise and Malek seem to be missing for the goodbye. I expected it from Anise. I heard she is now avoiding Daniel. I wonder where Malek is though? Aldwin said he didn't know where he was, but that Malek had said something about wanting us to be happy together, and him being happy for us. I know that last part was a lie.

I walk Samantha to the steps of the gate. Daniel dials, and most of the Tau'ri go through. I watch Daniel slowly move up the steps. "Goodbye Daniel."

He stops briefly and glances to me. "Bye Lantash." Jacob passes him and goes through. He thought he should be there when Samantha visits Mark.

I take Samantha's hands.

She looks at mine. "No offense, but I wish Malek was here."

"So do I, but I understand his reasoning for not being here."

Samantha moves her hands, the her left touches the back of her head. "You were here, and now you're there, and it's better that way, but I miss you."

I pull her into a hug. "I know. I miss you too."

"I never thought...after..." She doesn't want to say Jolinar's name. She usually does, but she probably feels the topic is extra sensitive right now. "As least now you know why."

I nod, and I feel Martouf's surprise and anger. _What? You know?!_

_I used a memory device_, I admit in guilt. I rub Samantha's back. She rightly assumed I had already told Martouf the truth. "I can tell you why."

_Did you plan on telling me?!_

Samantha shakes her head. "No. I forgave her. It doesn't matter why."

I nod. "I understand." _Of course I planned on telling you...after Samantha left._

Martouf mutters a few insults in my direction before demanding control. He continues to hug when he gets it. He calms for Samantha's sake before pulling away. "We'll miss you." _You're telling me right now._

Samantha nods and heads up the stair. Daniel is still there. He has his hand in the gate, basically holding it for her. He goes in when he sees her heading up.

_In a second_, I reply to Martouf.

"Samantha," Martouf calls.

She turns back to him. "Yes?"

"We love you."

She smiles. "I love you too." She head up and through.

Martouf turns away after the wormhole disengages. _Now._

I mentally replay what I learned, and he quickly understands why I waited until Samantha had left.

Martouf pauses in his walk. _It was an accident then._ He smiles before he continues walking.

_She still broke the law-_

_I know. I know, but..._ He's still smiling. _The first part was an accident._

_She wanted our forgiveness in the end._

_She had mine a long time ago._ He goes down the rings. _If Samantha is able to forgive her, how could we not?_

--Sam--

After several greetings Daniel and I seek solitude in his office. I look at artifacts that had been left. There is an article that Daniel had started reading four months ago. He picks the article up. "Jack never gave up on us." This office is proof of that.

I nod briefly, feeling a mixture of emotions. I miss what I had in those four months, but I'm not completely losing anything completely.

Daniel sits down with the article, but he's not reading it yet. "I guess we go back to our old life."

Note quite. I nod for his sake though. "Yeah. Well, I'll go see to my office."

"Goodbye Saman-" He pauses. "Sam."

I smile and start heading out, but I turn back to him. "Daniel, are you going to be all right? Do you want me to stay?"

"I'll be fine. I'm just going to start on my work."

It sit down. "Maybe you can tell me about some of these." I indicate to the stuff on the table. I'll go to work in a few, but there is no need to rush out. I won't be able to start work anyway. I'll be leaving as soon as Dad arranges our transport. He wanted to be the one to do it.

Daniel smiles and immediately starts talking about one of the artifacts on the table. I enjoy listening to him. He's right for the most part. We have our old lives back, but it's no the same. My life will never be the same again.

The End

(Review. :)

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I hope to hear how you enjoyed the entire story, and now that the story is done, maybe I'll hear from new people. ::looks hopeful::

There are some issues here I'll finish out in future stories. If there's anything in particular you wish to see, let me know since what I have in mind may not be what you have in mind. Next though, I think Mark and Martouf should meet. Don't you think?)


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